https://www.ueckerwitt.com https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-is-the-cremation-process Families in Fond du Lac, WI often wonder what happens during the cremation process. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <strong> Summary  </strong> </p> <p> <span> • Cremation is guided by national standards from CANA, NFDA, and the FTC.  </span> </p> <p> <span> • Families begin the process by providing written authorization and confirming identification.  </span> </p> <p> <span> • Cremation takes place in a secure, specialized chamber overseen with dignity and respect.  </span> </p> <p> <span> <span> • Families in Fond du Lac may choose memorial </span> </span> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/services-overview" target="_blank"> services </a> <span> , urn burial, or scattering options.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> What Is the Cremation Process?  </strong> </p> <p> <span> <span> Families in Fond du Lac, WI often wonder what happens during the </span> </span> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/cremation-services" target="_blank"> cremation </a> <span> <span> process. According to the Cremation Association of North America (CANA) and the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), cremation follows a carefully managed series of steps designed to ensure respect, dignity, and proper identification. Having a clear understanding of these steps can bring comfort and clarity during a difficult time.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <span> <span>  </span> </span> </p> <p> <span> The process typically begins with written authorization from the legal next of kin. Identification is verified, and all required documentation is reviewed prior to the cremation taking place. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC), through the Funeral Rule, helps ensure families receive transparent information about their rights and available options.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Before the cremation begins, the individual is placed in an approved cremation container that meets legal and ethical standards. An identification tag accompanies the individual throughout the entire process, following guidelines supported by CANA and NFDA to ensure accuracy and accountability.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Cremation occurs within a specialized chamber designed for this purpose. While specific procedures may vary slightly, trained professionals oversee every step, maintaining the highest respect and care at all times.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> After the cremation is complete, the cremated remains are processed and placed into the urn or container selected by the family. Many families in Fond du Lac, WI choose to hold a memorial service, bury the urn, or scatter ashes in a meaningful location. These choices allow loved ones to honor a family member in a personal and meaningful way.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Frequently Asked Questions  </strong> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> How long does the cremation process typically take? </strong> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> <span> The </span> </span> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/cremation-services" target="_blank"> cremation </a> <span> <span> itself often takes several hours, while the final preparation of the cremated remains may require an additional day or two before they are ready to be returned to the family.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Can families be present at the start of the cremation? </strong> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Some crematories may offer families the option to witness the beginning of the cremation. Families should ask their funeral director about local availability and guidelines.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> What happens to the cremated remains after the process is complete? </strong> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> After the process is complete, the cremated remains are placed into the selected urn or temporary container and returned to the family with appropriate documentation and care instructions.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Written for Uecker-Witt Funeral Home, proudly serving families in Fond du Lac with compassion and care.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> About Uecker-Witt Funeral Home  </strong> </p> <p> <span> <span> Uecker-Witt Funeral Home is located at </span> </span> <a href="https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=29736ecd0c5d7f23&amp;sxsrf=ANbL-n5UMeo93la8Fe1EyXTQSu6oOH7TBw:1772213287910&amp;q=Uecker-Witt+Funeral+Home&amp;ludocid=5737832670171281963&amp;lsig=AB86z5X6_h1c4VfLthe5A3QC6B_7&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=2ahUKEwiYvff7mPqSAxWRrYkEHRwZEBkQoAJ6BAgJECI&amp;biw=1790&amp;bih=1000&amp;dpr=1.6" target="_blank"> 524 N Park Ave, Fond du Lac, WI 54935 </a> <span> , and can be reached at (920) 922-5110. They provide compassionate, professional funeral and cremation services to families throughout the Fond du Lac community. With a strong commitment to dignity, respect, and personal guidance, the funeral home supports families through every step of planning and remembrance.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> <p> <br/> </p> </div> Fri, 08 May 2026 12:01:43 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-is-the-cremation-process thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-is-needed-from-next-of-kin-for-burial-and-cremation-in-fond-du-lac-wisconsin Families in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin often ask what is required from the next of kin when planning burial or cremation arrangements. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), written authorization from the legal next of kin is generally required before any final arrangements can move forward. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <strong> Summary  </strong> </p> <ul> <li> <span> The next of kin typically provides authorization for burial or cremation.  </span> </li> <li> <span> Funeral homes often need identification, vital information, and signed authorization forms.  </span> </li> <li> <span> Documentation requirements vary by state but generally include permit and death certificate details.  </span> </li> <li> <span> Funeral directors guide families through each step with compassion and clarity.  </span> </li> </ul> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> What Is Needed from Next of Kin for Burial and Cremation  </strong> </p> <p> <span> <span> Families in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin often ask what is required from the next of kin when planning </span> </span> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/traditional-services" target="_blank"> burial </a> <span> <span> or </span> </span> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/cremation-services" target="_blank"> cremation </a> <span> <span> arrangements. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), written authorization from the legal next of kin is generally required before any final arrangements can move forward.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) explains that this authorization supports transparency under the Funeral Rule and helps ensure families receive clear and accurate information. The next of kin—often a spouse, adult child, parent, or legal representative—usually holds the authority to approve funeral, burial, or cremation decisions.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Identification and Documentation Requirements  </strong> </p> <p> <span> The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) highlights the importance of accurate documentation when preparing an official death certificate. Funeral homes often request the following information from the next of kin:  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <ul> <li> <span> A government-issued photo ID for the next of kin.  </span> </li> <li> <span> Vital information about the deceased, including legal name, date of birth, parents’ names, and Social Security number.  </span> </li> <li> <span> A signed authorization form for burial or cremation.  </span> </li> <li> <span> Information needed to complete the official death certificate.  </span> </li> </ul> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> These documents help ensure that arrangements meet legal requirements and reflect a family’s wishes.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Why Authorization Matters  </strong> </p> <p> <span> Authorization helps confirm that all final arrangements follow legal guidelines and honor a family’s preferences. For burial, the next of kin may need to complete a burial permit and confirm cemetery or vault selections. For cremation, a Cremation Authorization Form is typically required, and some regions may require a waiting period or medical examiner approval.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Funeral directors at Uecker-Witt Funeral Home offer compassionate guidance throughout this process, helping families in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin feel supported and informed.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> FAQs  </strong> </p> <p> <strong> Who is considered the next of kin? </strong> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> The next of kin is typically a spouse, adult child, parent, or legal representative with the authority to make funeral, burial, or cremation decisions.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> What documents are needed before burial or cremation? </strong> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Most funeral homes request a government-issued ID, essential information for the death certificate, and a signed authorization form from the next of kin.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Do requirements vary by state? </strong> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Yes. Documentation requirements often differ depending on the state or region, so families should consult their funeral home for guidance specific to their area.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Written for Uecker-Witt Funeral Home, proudly serving families in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin with compassion and care.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> About Uecker-Witt Funeral Home  </strong> </p> <p> <span> <span> Uecker-Witt Funeral Home is honored to support families throughout Fond du Lac, Wisconsin. Their dedicated staff provides steady guidance through every step of funeral and cremation planning. </span> </span> <a href="https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tZP1zcsz4ovKUs3NGC0UjWosLAwMLZINDMySE5NsTRKNbcyqDBJSzRINTCzTDYzNkhKNEry4i5NTc5OLVIozywpAQBkWhNd&amp;q=uecker+witt&amp;oq=uecker+witt&amp;gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqEwgBEC4YgwEYrwEYxwEYsQMYgAQyEAgAEAAYgwEY4wIYsQMYgAQyEwgBEC4YgwEYrwEYxwEYsQMYgAQyBwgCEAAYgAQyBwgDEAAYgAQyBwgEEAAYgAQyBggFEEUYPDIGCAYQRRg8MgYIBxBFGDzSAQgzNTI0ajBqN6gCALACAA&amp;sourceid=chrome&amp;ie=UTF-8" target="_blank"> Located at 524 N Park Ave, Fond du Lac, WI 54935, families may reach them at (920) 922-5110 </a> <span> <span> for compassionate assistance.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Fri, 10 Apr 2026 13:00:27 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-is-needed-from-next-of-kin-for-burial-and-cremation-in-fond-du-lac-wisconsin thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/why-do-funeral-cremation-costs-vary-in-fond-du-lac-wisconsin Families in Fond du Lac often ask why funeral and cremation costs differ among funeral homes. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), these variations are normal and are often influenced by regional expenses, staffing levels, and the types of services families select. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <strong> Summary  </strong> </p> <p> <span> • Funeral and cremation costs often vary due to differences in location, facilities, staffing needs, and service options.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> • Families in Fond du Lac may notice that funeral homes with larger facilities or additional amenities typically have different pricing.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> • Personalization, professional care, and the level of support a family chooses can influence total expense.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> • FTC transparency rules help families compare providers and understand available options.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Why Do Funeral and Cremation Costs Vary?  </strong> </p> <p> <span> <span> Families in Fond du Lac often ask why </span> </span> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/traditional-services" target="_blank"> funeral </a> <span> <span> and cremation costs differ among funeral homes. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), these variations are normal and are often influenced by regional expenses, staffing levels, and the types of services families select. All referenced national data is accurate as of 2025.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Regional and Overhead Differences  </strong> </p> <p> <span> Operational costs can vary significantly between communities. Funeral homes in cities or growing communities like Fond du Lac may experience higher facility, staffing, and property-related expenses than those in rural areas. These differences often influence pricing and may reflect the level of convenience, flexibility, or amenities available to families.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Facilities, Services, and Personalization  </strong> </p> <p> <span> <span> The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) requires every funeral home to provide a </span> </span> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/service-pricing" target="_blank"> General Price List </a> <span> <span> (GPL), ensuring families receive clear information about the cost of services. If a funeral home offers an on-site crematory, larger chapels, or reception areas, these amenities may require more staffing and upkeep, influencing the overall cost. Prices may also vary depending on whether a family chooses a traditional funeral, cremation with a gathering, or direct cremation, as well as personalized elements such as flowers, music, video tributes, or catered receptions.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Professional Care and Transparency  </strong> </p> <p> <span> <span> Every funeral or </span> </span> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/cremation-services" target="_blank"> cremation </a> <span> <span> arrangement involves professional, behind-the-scenes care—transportation, preparation, documentation, planning, and ongoing support. The Cremation Association of North America (CANA) notes that the expertise of trained staff is a significant part of the value families receive. Families are encouraged to compare GPLs between funeral homes to understand their options and find the right fit for their needs.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Frequently Asked Questions  </strong> </p> <p> <strong> Why do funeral prices vary between funeral homes? </strong> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Prices often vary due to differences in location, staffing, facilities, and the level of personalization offered, according to the NFDA.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Are funeral homes required to provide price information? </strong> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Yes. Under the FTC’s Funeral Rule, families must be given a detailed General Price List (GPL) before making any decisions.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Can preplanning help manage funeral costs? </strong> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> <span> Yes. </span> </span> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/planning-ahead" target="_blank"> Preplanning </a> <span> <span> may help families secure current prices, clearly outline their wishes, and reduce stress for loved ones later on.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Written for Uecker-Witt Funeral Home, proudly serving families in Fond du Lac with compassion and care.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> About Uecker-Witt Funeral Home  </strong> </p> <p> <span> <span> Uecker-Witt Funeral Home, </span> </span> <a href="https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tZP1zcsz4ovKUs3NGC0UjWosLAwMLZINDMySE5NsTRKNbcyqDBJSzRINTCzTDYzNkhKNEry4i5NTc5OLVIozywpAQBkWhNd&amp;q=uecker+witt&amp;oq=uecker+witt&amp;gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqEwgBEC4YgwEYrwEYxwEYsQMYgAQyEAgAEAAYgwEY4wIYsQMYgAQyEwgBEC4YgwEYrwEYxwEYsQMYgAQyBwgCEAAYgAQyBwgDEAAYgAQyBwgEEAAYgAQyBggFEEUYPDIGCAYQRRg8MgYIBxBFGDzSAQgzNTI0ajBqN6gCALACAA&amp;sourceid=chrome&amp;ie=UTF-8" target="_blank"> located at 524 N Park Ave, Fond du Lac, WI 54935 </a> <span> , has supported families in Fond du Lac and the surrounding communities for generations. The funeral home is dedicated to offering clear guidance, compassionate service, and meaningful options that honor each family’s unique needs and wishes.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Fri, 06 Mar 2026 14:00:09 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/why-do-funeral-cremation-costs-vary-in-fond-du-lac-wisconsin thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/how-much-does-cremation-cost-in-fond-du-lac-wi Families in Fond du Lac, WI, often ask how much cremation costs and what influences the total price. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) 2024 General Price List Study, the national median cost of a funeral with cremation is $6,280 as of 2025. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <strong> Summary  </strong> </p> <p> <span> <span> • According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), the national median cost of a funeral with cremation is $6,280 as of 2025. <br/> • A direct cremation, which does not include a ceremony, typically costs between $2,800 and $3,000. <br/> • </span> </span> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/cremation-services" target="_blank"> Cremation </a> <span> <span> costs often vary based on service type, merchandise choices, and local factors. <br/> • Families in Fond du Lac can explore options that balance affordability with a meaningful tribute.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> How Much Does Cremation Cost?  </strong> </p> <p> <span> <span> Families in Fond du Lac, WI, often ask how much cremation costs and what influences the total price. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) 2024 </span> </span> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/service-pricing" target="_blank"> General Price List </a> <span> <span> Study, the national median cost of a funeral with cremation is $6,280 as of 2025. This amount typically includes professional services, transportation, care of the deceased, and use of facilities for a gathering or memorial service.  <br/> <br/> For those who prefer a simpler option, a direct cremation—without a formal ceremony—typically ranges between $2,800 and $3,000 nationally. Even with this modest option, funeral professionals ensure that the cremation process is handled with dignity, respect, and careful attention.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> What Factors Influence Cremation Costs?  </strong> </p> <p> <span> Cremation costs may vary depending on the type of service chosen, whether families wish to hold a memorial or celebration of life, and the level of personalization involved. Families may also select an urn or keepsake that reflects their loved one’s wishes, which can affect the overall cost.  <br/> <br/> Local factors in and around Fond du Lac, such as facility offerings, staffing, and regulatory requirements, may also influence pricing. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) requires funeral homes to provide a General Price List (GPL), which helps families review options clearly and make informed decisions.  <br/> <br/> </span> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/planning-ahead" target="_blank"> Planning ahead </a> <span> <span> can be especially helpful. Preplanning often allows families to lock in today’s prices, record important preferences, and ease the emotional and financial burden on loved ones.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Frequently Asked Questions  </strong> </p> <p> <strong> Is cremation typically more affordable than burial? </strong> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Yes. Cremation is often more affordable because it usually does not require cemetery property, a burial vault, or a casket, though final costs depend on the services selected.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Can families still hold a service with cremation? </strong> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Yes. Many families in Fond du Lac choose to hold a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life either before or after the cremation process.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> What does a direct cremation usually include? </strong> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> A direct cremation typically includes basic professional services, transportation, care of the deceased, and the cremation itself, without a formal ceremony.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Written for Uecker-Witt Funeral Home, proudly serving families in Fond du Lac with compassion and care.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> About Uecker-Witt Funeral Home  </strong> </p> <p> <span> <span> Families in Fond du Lac, WI, can turn to Uecker-Witt Funeral Home for compassionate, professional guidance. </span> </span> <a href="https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tZP1zcsz4ovKUs3NGC0UjWosLAwMLZINDMySE5NsTRKNbcyqDBJSzRINTCzTDYzNkhKNEry4i5NTc5OLVIozywpAQBkWhNd&amp;q=uecker+witt&amp;oq=uecker+witt&amp;gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqEwgBEC4YgwEYrwEYxwEYsQMYgAQyEAgAEAAYgwEY4wIYsQMYgAQyEwgBEC4YgwEYrwEYxwEYsQMYgAQyBwgCEAAYgAQyBwgDEAAYgAQyBwgEEAAYgAQyBggFEEUYPDIGCAYQRRg8MgYIBxBFGDzSAQgzNTI0ajBqN6gCALACAA&amp;sourceid=chrome&amp;ie=UTF-8" target="_blank"> Located at 524 N Park Ave, Fond du Lac, WI 54935, the caring team can be reached at (920) 922-5110 </a> <span> <span> to discuss cremation options and preplanning services.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Fri, 06 Feb 2026 14:00:13 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/how-much-does-cremation-cost-in-fond-du-lac-wi thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/how-much-does-a-funeral-cost-in-fond-du-lac-wisconsin Families in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, often wonder what influences the cost of a funeral. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), the median cost of a funeral with viewing and burial is around $8,300, while a funeral with cremation averages about $6,280. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <strong> Summary  </strong> </p> <ul> <li> <span> The median cost of a funeral with viewing and burial is about $8,300, according to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA).  </span> </li> <li> <span> The median cost of a funeral with cremation is around $6,280, based on NFDA’s 2024 national study.  </span> </li> <li> <span> Funeral costs vary depending on service choices, merchandise selections, and the level of personalization a family prefers.  </span> </li> <li> <span> Understanding national averages helps families in Fond du Lac plan meaningful and informed arrangements.  </span> </li> </ul> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> How Much Does a Funeral Cost?  </strong> </p> <p> <span> <span> Families in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, often wonder what influences the cost of a funeral. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), the median cost of a funeral with viewing and burial is around $8,300, while a funeral with cremation averages about $6,280. These national numbers, accurate as of 2025, offer a useful starting point for understanding </span> </span> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/traditional-services" target="_blank"> funeral planning </a> <span> .  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Funeral costs vary widely because every family’s needs, traditions, and priorities are different. A traditional funeral with a viewing, ceremony, and burial may involve multiple components that can adjust the total cost. A funeral followed by cremation typically includes many of the same professional services but may differ in merchandise choices or final placement decisions.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Several factors often influence the overall cost of a funeral. These may include the use of funeral home facilities, transportation needs, and the level of personalization a family prefers. It is also important to note that NFDA averages do not include cemetery costs, which vary by location and are typically separate from funeral home services.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Funeral services typically include the professional expertise of the funeral director and staff, care of the deceased, use of the funeral home’s facilities for visitation or ceremonies, and transportation. Families may select merchandise—such as caskets, urns, or memorial items—based on their loved one’s preferences and the type of service they choose.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> <span> Many families find that </span> </span> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/planning-ahead" target="_blank"> planning ahead </a> <span> <span> helps reduce stress during an emotional time. Understanding general cost structures allows families to make thoughtful decisions and create a meaningful tribute that reflects their loved one’s life.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Frequently Asked Questions  </strong> </p> <p> <strong> What factors influence the total cost of a funeral? </strong> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/service-pricing" target="_blank"> Funeral costs </a> <span> <span> often depend on the type of service, merchandise selections, and the level of personalization a family chooses. National averages help provide a helpful frame of reference.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Are cemetery costs included in national funeral averages? </strong> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> No. Cemetery costs—such as plots, markers, and opening and closing fees—are generally not included in NFDA national averages.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Does choosing cremation always cost less than burial? </strong> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> <span> Not necessarily. While the median cost for a funeral with </span> </span> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/cremation-services" target="_blank"> cremation </a> <span> <span> is typically lower, overall cost depends on the specific services and merchandise a family selects.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Written for Uecker-Witt Funeral Home, proudly serving families in Fond du Lac with compassion and care.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> About Uecker-Witt Funeral Home  </strong> </p> <p> <span> <span> Families in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, can turn to Uecker-Witt Funeral Home for caring and professional guidance when planning ahead. </span> </span> <a href="https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tZP1zcsz4ovKUs3NGC0UjWosLAwMLZINDMySE5NsTRKNbcyqDBJSzRINTCzTDYzNkhKNEry4i5NTc5OLVIozywpAQBkWhNd&amp;q=uecker+witt&amp;oq=uecker+witt&amp;gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqEwgBEC4YgwEYrwEYxwEYsQMYgAQyEAgAEAAYgwEY4wIYsQMYgAQyEwgBEC4YgwEYrwEYxwEYsQMYgAQyBwgCEAAYgAQyBwgDEAAYgAQyBwgEEAAYgAQyBggFEEUYPDIGCAYQRRg8MgYIBxBFGDzSAQgzNTI0ajBqN6gCALACAA&amp;sourceid=chrome&amp;ie=UTF-8" target="_blank"> Located at 524 N Park Ave, Fond du Lac, WI 54935, their dedicated staff can be reached at (920) 922-5110 </a> <span> <span> to answer questions about funeral planning and available options.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Fri, 09 Jan 2026 14:00:38 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/how-much-does-a-funeral-cost-in-fond-du-lac-wisconsin thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/driving-by-a-funeral-home Imagine you’re driving past a funeral home. As you approach, you can see people dressed in mourning clothing coming out of the facilities and climbing into their cars or limousines. But just before you drive by, those vehicles begin to pull out of the funeral home’s parking lot. You’re now encountering a funeral procession. So, how can you treat this important ceremony with the respect it deserves? Although many states have different rules when it comes to driving around funeral processions, here are the general rules of the road when you spot one. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> <span> Imagine you’re driving past a funeral home. As you approach, you can see people dressed in mourning clothing coming out of the facilities and climbing into their cars or limousines. But just before you drive by, those vehicles begin to pull out of the funeral home’s parking lot. You’re now encountering a funeral procession. So, how can you treat this important ceremony with the respect it deserves? Although many states have </span> </span> <a href="https://www.mwl-law.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/FUNERAL-PROCESSION-TRAFFIC-LAWS.pdf" target="_blank"> different rules </a> <span> <span> when it comes to driving around funeral processions, here are the general rules of the road when you spot one. </span> </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h2> <span> What to Do When You Encounter a Funeral Procession </span> </h2> <h3> <span> 1.  Yield the right of way. </span> </h3> <p> <span> Generally, funeral processions have the right of way. It’s important to obey this guideline as it may just prevent an accident. In many states, a funeral procession may go through a red light if the lead car has already crossed into the intersection. Because a funeral procession may operate under different rules from other vehicles on the road, it’s essential to exercise caution when driving around one. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Not only is it respectful to yield the right of way to ensure that the procession stays on time and all together, but it’s also better for both their and your safety. Just as you would yield the right of way to an emergency vehicle, you should yield to a funeral procession. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h3> <span> 2.  Do not cut in. </span> </h3> <p> <span> It’s extremely disrespectful to cut into a funeral procession. In some states, doing so is actually illegal. A funeral procession is a ceremonial event in which people are mourning. You should not do anything that interferes with this ceremony. Also, the drivers will not expect you to cut in, which may mean that they won’t be looking out for your vehicle. A collision may end up being the result. If you need to take an exit on a highway and cutting in is your only option for reaching it, you should wait to take the next exit. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h3> <span> 3.  Do not pass the procession. </span> </h3> <p> <span> Just like you shouldn’t cut in, you also shouldn’t pass a funeral procession. And just like cutting in, it’s illegal to pass a funeral procession in some states. Speeding up to pass a funeral procession may cause an accident. You may pass if you’re on a highway with two or more lanes going in the same direction. You should only ever pass on the right if the procession is traveling in the far left lane. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h3> <span> 4.  Look for the last car in the procession. </span> </h3> <p> <span> Most often, the last car in a funeral procession must have its hazards on. It also may be marked with two flags to designate its status. To ensure that you don’t mistakenly cut off a funeral processional, keep an eye out for the final car’s markings. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h3> <span> 5.  Do not tag along. </span> </h3> <p> <span> When you do spot that final car, do not decide to join the procession. Because a funeral procession can move through traffic with certain restrictions lifted, some drivers, unfortunately, believe that they can simply join the mourners and receive the same treatment. But just as you shouldn’t tail an emergency vehicle to get to your destination faster, you shouldn’t tag along when you see a funeral procession. Not only is it very disrespectful, but it’s also not likely to work. The last car in the procession is marked as the final car. You may be pulled over if you’re spotted trying to tag along. Doing so is considered interfering with the procession, and it’s illegal in some states. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h3> <span> 6.  Pull over if you’re able. </span> </h3> <p> <span> Most often, the best thing to do when you see a funeral procession is to pull over. It’s safer to allow the procession to pass without any potential obstructions. However, it’s not always possible to pull over. If you are on a road with the space to pull off to the side, you should do so and wait until the procession has fully passed. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h3> <span> 7.  Wait patiently. </span> </h3> <p> <span> Whether you’re pulled to the side of the road or simply waiting at an intersection for the procession to pass, you should always wait patiently. Do not honk, yell, or make gestures, even if you’re frustrated that the procession is taking a while. Remember that the people in these vehicles are mourning the loss of a loved one. Even if you want to make a gesture of support, it’s best to wait silently and patiently instead. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> It can be frustrating to get stuck behind a funeral procession. But it’s important to remember that it’s only a minor inconvenience in comparison to the situation the people in the procession are dealing with. They’re grieving the loss of a loved one. The day of a funeral is often difficult, and the last thing the mourners should have to face on such a day is someone causing an accident because they tried to cut the processional off. You should always be respectful to a funeral procession, both out of kindness to the mourners and for the sake of safety for everyone. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 23 Jan 2025 19:47:03 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/driving-by-a-funeral-home thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/five-themed-funeral-ideas-to-personalize-a-funeral A funeral may include some or all of the elements mentioned above. It should reflect the life of the person who died and bring comfort to close family members. Funeral directors are eager to have the service meet the family’s desires. Still, funeral directors are not mind readers. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <strong> Pictures </strong> </p> <p> <strong>   </strong> </p> <p> <span> A picture is worth a thousand words. Pictures bring memories to life; they stimulate conversation and can illustrate an entire lifespan. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> There are different ways to use pictures in a funeral service. Many funeral homes have resources onsite or know just where a family can find what they need. Photos can be enlarged or displayed on a board or placed in albums on a table. Photos may also be incorporated into a slide show or shown in a loop on a video monitor or flat screen.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> The exercise of going through family photos and choosing which to use for the funeral is cathartic in and of itself. As the family members sort through their photos and discuss which to use, stories are bound to be shared. This activity is healing. It helps the mourners move from thinking and talking about the cause of death to thinking and talking about the life that was lived. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> As the pictures are selected and decisions are being made about how to share them, think about how time will come into play. How long will people be comfortable standing in front of a flat screen? Ask your funeral director for guidance. Consider sharing photos in more than one format, or having more than one video set up, or showing more than one video at different times in the service. Ask for what you want and need. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Music </strong> </p> <p> <strong>   </strong> </p> <p> <span> The span of a lifetime can be reflected in the music a person listened to and loved. From Frank Sinatra to Pavarotti, boy band to the church choir, music is the background of our lives. Including music in a funeral service can bring life to the service. Do not be afraid to step out of the box. If the one you loved really liked to rock it out at top volume go ahead and ask to play one of their favorites loud, as visitors leave the funeral home. Talk to your funeral director about how you can include the music that reflects your loved one.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Stories </strong> </p> <p> <strong>   </strong> </p> <p> <span> A good speaker, who knew well the person who died, can bring both tears and laughter to a funeral service. However, not everyone is a good speaker. Choose wisely and do not be afraid to ask what is going to be said. Surprises can be upsetting to some and funerals always leave a lasting impression. Do not be shy. Ask the speaker what is being planned. This extends to the religious officiant as well, especially if the clergyperson is not well known to the family. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Your funeral director has a lot of valuable experience. Be sure to tap into that experience. Ask her how many speakers to have and how long a service should last. Be sure to watch for overlap in stories. One person talking about the time the football tickets were left at home for the big game is probably enough. Nobody wants to be second up with the same story prepared and rehearsed. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Public speaking is in the top five fears of nearly everyone. If your circle does not include a good storyteller, ask the funeral director if there is a Funeral Celebrant in your community who could help with this part of the service. </span> </p> <p> <strong>   </strong> </p> <p> <strong> Passions </strong> </p> <p> <strong>   </strong> </p> <p> <span> The things a person loved help tell their life story. It could be a team they watched or a sport they played. Some people are passionate about their work, others are inspired throughout their life by a hobby or pursuing a talent. Regardless, passions help to define a life. It is no wonder mourners wish to honor their loved one’s passion when life comes to an end.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> There are different ways this can be accomplished. There are caskets that honor a team or school. Favors that reflect a love of gardening, cooking, golf or almost anything, can be given to attendees. “Secret” recipes can be shared. Once again, your funeral director will be an excellent resource to help you incorporate the passion all the visitors will recognize into the service. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> Faith </strong> </p> <p> <strong>   </strong> </p> <p> <span> When family members all share a common faith with the person who died, this part of the funeral service usually comes together easily. However, it sometimes happens that more than one religious affiliation is practiced within the family. In this case, the religious portion of the service is usually a reflection of the faith of the deceased.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> When the deceased was not religious but close family members have a strong religious affiliation, who performs the service and how the religious service is handled may become tricky. It is always helpful to remember that funeral services leave a lasting impression. For this reason, it is important to try and please all close family members. Your funeral director can help sort this out. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <strong> In summary: </strong> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> A funeral may include some or all of the elements mentioned above. It should reflect the life of the person who died and bring comfort to close family members. Funeral directors are eager to have the service meet the family’s desires. Still, funeral directors are not mind readers. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> In order to meet the expectations of the family, members must listen to each other and communicate openly with the director. If there is something important to one or more family members, what it is and that it is important must be shared with the funeral director. Seek the professional advice of your funeral director and be clear and firm regarding any elements that will be crucial to the success of any family member’s grieving process. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 09 Jan 2025 16:08:17 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/five-themed-funeral-ideas-to-personalize-a-funeral thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/the-best-gift-ever-for-your-adult-kids No one will expect your gift of a completed funeral plan. No one will need the receipt to return your gift. Your gift will not be too big, too small, too out of style, or re-gifted. It will absolutely be used someday. It will be appreciated. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Gifts that please, surprise, are useful, and don’t break the bank are hard to come by. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> So, here’s one that no one will see coming. What if you could give the gift of being prepared? You can. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Now is the perfect time to call the funeral home and get on the schedule to speak to the preneed person/advance funeral planner. Just get all your questions answered. Get a plan written and on file at the funeral home. That way everyone knows who to call, what to do, and maybe even how it’s all going to be paid for.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Does your family need this gift? Here’s a test. When you order a pizza does everyone want the same toppings? If your family takes a bit to decide or you always order half this and half that, a funeral plan will be a terrific gift. If your family is blended, then absolutely this is a perfect gift. If yours is a second marriage, for sure they’ll all appreciate this gift one day. If your kids are all equally successful, agree on everything, belong to the same church, they will still love this gift! </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> No one will expect your gift of a completed funeral plan. No one will need the receipt to return your gift. Your gift will not be too big, too small, too out of style, or re-gifted. It will absolutely be used someday. It will be appreciated. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Tue, 05 Nov 2024 21:54:33 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/the-best-gift-ever-for-your-adult-kids thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/saying-thank-you-to-a-veteran Big dollars or only a few dollars, lots of time or only a little time, where there is a will there is a way to say thank you to those who serve in our military. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> There are a million ways to say thank you. Great or small they all have value.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Decide to always just say thank you whenever you see a person in uniform. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     When you see a person in uniform at the coffee shop or fast food restaurant pick up their tab if you can.  </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     At the airport trade your first class or comfort seat for their standard seat </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     If you have a neighbor who is deployed offer to play catch with the kids or mow the lawn. Ask how you can help </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Send a care package by contacting Operation Gratitude </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Donate your old cell phone </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Drive a Veteran to their doctor appointments (contact the hospital services coordinator at the local VA hospital) </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Write a letter </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Volunteer at a VA hospital </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     If you run a business hire a veteran - Hire Heroes USA </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Donate dollars or time to train service dogs for veterans - Patriot Paws or Puppy Jake Foundation </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Build a house for a veteran - Building Homes for Heroes </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Big dollars or only a few dollars, lots of time or only a little time, where there is a will there is a way to say thank you to those who serve in our military. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Tue, 05 Nov 2024 21:52:34 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/saying-thank-you-to-a-veteran thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/funeral-humor-creating-levity-in-a-stressful-profession As a subject, death can often make people uncomfortable. And as a result, that discomfort extends to how people feel about the funeral profession. For many people, the first time that they enter a funeral home is when a loved one passes. Because of this connection, many people associate funeral homes and what’s inside them with morbidity. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> As a subject, death can often make people uncomfortable. And as a result, that discomfort extends to how people feel about the funeral profession. For many people, the first time that they enter a funeral home is when a loved one passes. Because of this connection, many people associate funeral homes and what’s inside them with morbidity. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> So, it can be a bit of a shock to find that funeral directors most often aren’t the caricatures we see in movies and storybooks. They’re not as frightening as one might expect, nor are they creepy, despite the fact that some may find what they do a bit scary. Just like with many professions, working as a funeral director is a multi-faceted role. And, believe it or not, some funeral directors may even try to bring some comedy into their position. Why is it essential to create a little levity as a funeral director? Although not every funeral director attempts to be funny, here are a few reasons why one might. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Why Your Funeral Director May Be Funny </span> </p> <p> <span> 1.  Death makes people uncomfortable. </span> </p> <p> <span> Funeral directors know that, for many people, death is an uncomfortable subject. It’s scary to think about a time when you’re not physically here anymore, and it’s upsetting to remember that there will be a time when your loved ones can’t be with you in person. But funeral directors also know that there’s a way to break through the uncomfortableness of death: humor. It can be disarming to hear a funeral director be funny. And that unexpectedness can give you a little shock to your system. Though you were uncomfortable moments before, your surprised giggles can make you feel more at ease. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Funeral directors are inherently very adaptable people. They strive to provide the form of comfort that you need the most during this stressful time in your life. For some people, being made to laugh is the best way to give them comfort. Although not all funeral directors are naturally funny, they aim to do their best to provide the care that you require. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> 2.  Humor can help you cope with grief. </span> </p> <p> <span> Laughter does a lot for us, perhaps more than we know. It helps our immune system, combats pain, and boosts our endorphins. And it also helps us when we grieve. Many bereavement groups incorporate humor for this exact reason. One study found that widows and widowers who could laugh and smile about their loved ones experienced less depression and anxiety. Laughter cannot remove the pain of losing a loved one, but it can help us grieve with less severe symptoms. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Grief is complicated. Though we usually experience the strongest symptoms of grief for only a few months after a loss, those feelings often turn into integrated grief. Though integrated grief is easier to live with, it’s also longer-lasting. Grief becomes a part of our lives, which is why it’s essential to continue to find humor. As the study of the widows and widowers shows, finding humor can help both during the initial period of loss and the subsequent years with the overall grieving process. Funeral directors may not be grief counselors, but they strive to help us in any way they can while we mourn the loss of our loved ones. Creating levity through the funeral planning process can be one way to help. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> 3.  Humor can help you cope with stress. </span> </p> <p> <span> Funeral planning itself can be stressful. Hundreds of decisions must be made. There’s a lot on the planner’s mind about whether or not they’re making the right choices. Would the funeral they planned be the one that their loved one wanted? Those kinds of questions can inch their way into the mind of the planner, causing stress over their decisions. There’s often a feeling of anxiety as a funeral nears. Will everything go right? Although a funeral director and their staff will always do their best to assuage these fears in families who come to them in their time of need, it’s often hard to get their stress to dissipate. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Like grief, humor can do a lot to help stress. Laughing actually activates your stress response. A strong belly laugh increases your blood pressure and heart rate, but only briefly. Once you’ve calmed down again, your heart rate and blood pressure decrease, giving you a calm feeling. Laughing also soothes tension and aids in muscle relaxation, helping to decrease the physical signs of stress. In the long term, laughter improves your ability to cope with difficult situations and overall mood. A funeral director may find ways to incorporate laughter with the goal of relieving some of your funeral planning stress. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> 4.  Funeral directors want to help you continue on with your life. </span> </p> <p> <span> Funeral directors aren’t afraid of talking about death, but they do know that many people would rather not think about it. And they also know that no one comes to them for funeral planning in a happy mood. When most people plan a funeral, they are doing so with some distress as they’re just beginning to live a life without the person they love. These people are struggling, and the funeral director wants to help them through this new way of life. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> A part of helping is telling them that it’s okay to keep living. And a big part of living is finding the humor in life. When you’ve just lost a loved one, you’re likely experiencing acute grief, a period of grieving when your symptoms may prevent you from going about your everyday life. You may find it hard even to smile. It can feel wrong to laugh again when you’ve just lost someone you love. But a funeral director may try to encourage you to laugh again and to let you know it’s okay to find joy in life, even when you’re missing someone you love. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Not all funeral directors are the same. Some funeral directors prefer to remain more serious through the funeral planning process. And that’s okay too. But if you begin working with a funeral director who brings some levity to your situation, you may find that it’s helpful to your stress levels and your grieving process. Funeral directors aren’t the frightening figures of childhood stories, and they certainly don’t want to scare you. Some of them will even try to make you laugh, making a stressful situation a little bit lighter and a little bit easier. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Tue, 05 Nov 2024 21:49:23 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/funeral-humor-creating-levity-in-a-stressful-profession thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/is-go-fund-me-the-best-way-to-pay-for-a-funeral If you’re looking to cover the costs of a funeral for a loved one who did not preplan or prepay, your funeral home may be able to help. Some funeral homes offer a crowdfunding service that functions similarly to GoFundMe. Before making a GoFundMe account, talk to your funeral home about what kinds of crowdfunding services they offer. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Funerals are a way for people to celebrate the lives of their loved ones, but these celebrations often have a price tag that can be very high for the average family. A funeral with a viewing and a burial can cost upwards of $7,000. And when you consider that many families are also attempting to pay off additional expenses, like medical costs, after their loved one passes, they can quickly struggle under the weight of their financial burden. It’s no wonder why so many families turn to GoFundMe to ask for help covering all the costs, but is there a better way to pay for a funeral? </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Should you use GoFundMe to pay for a funeral? </span> </p> <p> <span> When GoFundMe launched in 2010, it changed how everything from novel inventions to wedding ceremonies were funded. It’s likely that at some point in your life, someone you know has used GoFundMe, and maybe you’ve donated through it yourself. GoFundMe has also changed the way that we pay for funeral expenses. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> In most cases, a decedent's family will pay for the funeral and disposition of their loved one. With GoFundMe, more of the burden is relieved from the immediate family. Suddenly, people you didn’t even know your loved one knew are donating through GoFundMe. Students of a teacher they haven’t seen in years want to donate. Coworkers from companies your loved one hasn’t worked at in decades decide to contribute. Neighbors, friends, and even friends of friends want to help in any way that they can. GoFundMe can be a wonderful resource that just goes to show how many lives your loved one has touched throughout their life. But although GoFundMe has proven to be a valuable resource for many families attempting to pay for funerals on their own, the best way to pay for a funeral is to pay into the costs before they happen. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Is there a better way to pay for a funeral? </span> </p> <p> <span> Although it can be unpleasant to think about a time when you’ll no longer be around, planning for your funeral is a gift to your loved ones. And that includes planning for the expenses that come with a funeral and disposition. Although many people believe that having life insurance is enough, life insurance often doesn’t end up covering the total cost of a funeral, which can lead to your family paying out of pocket for funeral expenses later on. But there are other ways to pay toward your funeral. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> One option is to talk to your chosen funeral home about planning and paying for your funeral in advance. When you preplan your funeral, you can decide to pay for your plans in advance. You’ll work with the funeral home to make your arrangements, including what services you want to hold, whether you’d like to be buried or cremated, and what type of casket or urn you’d like. After you decide on all these details, you’ll be able to pay for them through the funeral home. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Funeral homes typically offer a variety of payment plans, including the option to pay for your funeral and disposition in full. By making these payments in advance, you’re saving your family from financial strain later on. When you pay in full, you’re guaranteeing that the funeral you plan is the one that your family will be able to hold for you. There will be no need for a GoFundMe after you pass because you already funded your funeral yourself. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> GoFundMe has undoubtedly changed how we fund funerals, but the best way to pay for a funeral is always by planning ahead. As you plan your funeral, talk to your funeral director about your options for prepaying for your funeral and disposition. By paying for your funeral ahead of time, you’ll save your family from surprise expenses down the road. If you’re covering the cost of your funeral now, your family won’t need GoFundMe later. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> If you’re looking to cover the costs of a funeral for a loved one who did not preplan or prepay, your funeral home may be able to help. Some funeral homes offer a crowdfunding service that functions similarly to GoFundMe. Before making a GoFundMe account, talk to your funeral home about what kinds of crowdfunding services they offer. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Tue, 05 Nov 2024 21:47:41 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/is-go-fund-me-the-best-way-to-pay-for-a-funeral thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/three-reasons-to-preplan-your-funeral-when-your-family-doesnt-live-close The plan you leave for your children, grandchildren, sisters and brothers, and friends is a gift. You give them the gift of time to lean in and realize that they have lost you. This is precious time they have together. There will still be much for them to do but when you have lifted the weight a little, you leave room for them to work together and be creative. They can pull their talents and put their own touches on the framework of the funeral plan you provided for them. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Reason Number One: </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> The need to make that first call, the one to the funeral home, nearly always catches people unaware and off guard. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Even when a death is clearly coming it is almost always unexpected. “Mom was 96 but we just talked to her on Sunday, and she was fine. Hospice told us it was just a matter of days, but we just stepped out to the store for a few minutes, and he was gone. She was doing so well, we were surprised.”  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> When a person dies the first order of business is calling a funeral home to come and take the body into their care. When family doesn’t live close, they may not be familiar with the funeral homes in the area. Which funeral home should be called?  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Even with all of today’s wonderful ways to connect it can take hours to track down immediate family members. This one is in a meeting, that one is picking up kids at soccer practice, someone is at the gym and has their phone on silent. It can take a while to reach everyone and get them to weigh in on the decision about which funeral home to call. In the meantime, someone waits. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Reason Number Two:  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> The people who you love and who love you are going to be very busy just getting there. It’s not a good time to be making the big decisions. Burial or cremation, church or not, celebration of life, which minister, what restaurant, wood casket or metal, visitation the day of service or the night before? </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Your far-flung family will be trying to book flights, pack suitcases, arrange for the dog to be taken care of, get someone to fill in for carpool, and get time off work. Their minds will be racing. It’s not a good time to make decisions that they will live with forever. Funeral decisions carry a lot of weight. Everyone wants to get it just right. No one wants to wish they had buried mom in her red dress instead of her blue dress for the rest of their life. Just think how much better it would be IF they just had to get there and meet with the funeral director you selected to review the plans you left for them. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Reason Number Three: </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Your family needs time to be together. They need each other. They need to remember the stories, look at the pictures, cry together, and hug one another.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> The plan you leave for your children, grandchildren, sisters and brothers, and friends is a gift. You give them the gift of time to lean in and realize that they have lost you. This is precious time they have together. There will still be much for them to do but when you have lifted the weight a little, you leave room for them to work together and be creative. They can pull their talents and put their own touches on the framework of the funeral plan you provided for them. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Tue, 05 Nov 2024 21:44:39 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/three-reasons-to-preplan-your-funeral-when-your-family-doesnt-live-close thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/moving-on-too-quickly-for-others What does grief look like? You might be thinking now about the five stages: anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But what happens when someone goes out of order, skips a step, or doesn’t go through them at all? Although you may think it’s a sign that something is wrong, the truth is that we all experience grief in different ways. And someone may move through grief faster than someone else. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> <span> What does grief look like? You might be thinking now about the </span> </span> <a href="https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/" target="_blank"> five stages </a> <span> : anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But what happens when someone goes out of order, skips a step, or doesn’t go through them at all? Although you may think it’s a sign that something is wrong, the truth is that we all experience grief in different ways. And someone may move through grief faster than someone else. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h2> <span> First things first, forget what you know about grief. </span> </h2> <p> <span> <span> In 1969, in her book On Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the </span> </span> <a href="https://www.mcgill.ca/oss/article/health-history/its-time-let-five-stages-grief-die" target="_blank"> Kübler-Ross mode </a> <span> l, which became known as the five stages of grief. And although we typically associate this model with describing how we grieve someone’s death, that’s not actually what it was made for. It’s meant to give structure to how someone comes to terms with being diagnosed with a terminal illness. The five stages of grief were never about grieving a loved one’s death. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> However, other studies have tried to apply the model to grieving a loved one, only to find that it doesn’t really work the way that people believe it does. A 1981 study that looked at individuals who had been widowed for various lengths of time found that the pain and stress of widowhood persisted for years, with no subjects falling into particular stages at certain times, as the five stages of grief suggested they would. A 2002 study took a look at people before and after their spouses’ deaths and found that only 11 percent followed the Kübler-Ross model’s trajectory. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> So, if the five stages of grief aren’t scientifically accurate, why do we hold onto this idea that there’s a “right” way to grieve? When a daughter loses a father, is she wrong to go back to work the same week? When a husband loses a wife, is he wrong to be on a dating app by the end of the year? Perhaps yes and perhaps no. But these feelings are personal. And although you may imagine that you’d grieve in a certain way if you lost someone close to you, you cannot know what their grief is like. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h2> <span> What should you do if someone you love is moving on “too” quickly? </span> </h2> <p> <span> One thing that should be considered before you try to intervene when you think someone is moving on very quickly is whether or not they are really moving on at all. In the case of a daughter going back to work, she might not be trying to move on. She might simply be looking for a distraction because being at home is too painful. In which case, be kind and don’t remind her of her loss. Be a friend, let her talk to you about her loss if she wants to, and otherwise be someone she can turn to when she needs to take her mind off grief or funeral planning. Although she may look like she’s moving on quickly on the outside, she might still be grieving, just in a different way from your personal grieving process. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> But what about a husband who is looking to remarry soon after losing his spouse? Men are significantly more likely to begin dating after being widowed, and they’re more likely to do it sooner as well. After 25 months following the loss of a spouse, 61 percent of men are in a new relationship, compared to just 19 percent of women. So, do most men then move on too quickly? Regardless of gender, people who remarry after their spouse’s death report lower levels of depression and greater life satisfaction and well-being than those who don’t. But because men are more likely to have fewer friends than women, husbands often rely on their wives as their primary source of emotional and social support. When a wife dies, a husband may suddenly feel cut off from those crucial outlets, which propels him into the dating world sooner than a woman who lost her husband. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Should you intervene if someone you love is looking for love after losing their spouse? If you’re very close, you may consider voicing your concerns, but keep in mind what they gain in their life by remarrying. The thing about moving on is that it’s taking steps to keep living. It doesn’t mean that there’s no grief remaining. A person who loses a spouse needs to learn to live without them, but they still will miss their presence. And if that person remarries, it doesn’t mean that they’re replacing their spouses, nor are they trying to forget their spouse and all the memories they made together. They’re just searching for more fulfillment in their lives, and for many people, that includes learning to love again. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Ultimately, only one person can decide if they’re ready to move on, and that’s the person who lost their loved one. If you think you’re ready to move on in terms of dating again, it’s important to ask yourself if you feel prepared for this new change. Can you let someone else into your life? Can you love your new partner the way they deserve to be loved? If you know wholeheartedly that you can, you’re ready. But no one else can answer those questions but you. And if you’re seeing someone you love move on in a way that you don’t think you could or would, remember that you’re not the one who experienced their grief. Only they know what their grief is like and whether they’re ready to move on. All you can do is be there for them as they try to make this new transition in their life. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Tue, 05 Nov 2024 21:42:17 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/moving-on-too-quickly-for-others thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/my-financial-advisor-doesnt-think-its-a-good-idea-to-preplan-my-funeral The butcher, the baker, the candle stick maker. Does anyone go to the butcher for a candle? Would anyone even think of asking the funeral director for investment advice? The financial advisor, while very knowledgeable about money and investments, has little experience in helping a family honor the life of someone they love. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> The butcher, the baker, the candle stick maker. Does anyone go to the butcher for a candle? Would anyone even think of asking the funeral director for investment advice? The financial advisor, while very knowledgeable about money and investments, has little experience in helping a family honor the life of someone they love. Yesterday you could hold the hand of your loved one, today you must figure out how to say good-bye. Tomorrow you will begin the difficult task of living without the one you love. In the midst of all of this you will need to plan and pay for a funeral service. Helping families navigate those difficult days or to plan for this inevitable event is the job of the funeral director. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Accessing the dollars to pay for a funeral is where the financial planner can help. A financial planner who is familiar with a family’s financial resources can help them decide how and when to pay for a funeral. In a perfect world the investor, that’s you, would not die on a day the market was down, or just as his stocks were on the rise. He would die when it is a good time to take the cost of his funeral out of his investments. His heirs would not be burdened with tax consequences. Truth be told, life just does not always work out perfectly. We do not decide when we die. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> This is what you can do. Plan the funeral with your funeral director. Talk to her about service options that will help your family cope with your loss. Talk to her about how much you are comfortable spending. Become educated about the advance payment options that are offered through the funeral home. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Ask if you can pay for your funeral in monthly payments over a few years. Ask what happens if you die before you complete all payments. Many funeral homes fund funerals with insurance products designed just to pay for funerals. That can mean the funeral will be paid for by the insurance company should death occur before your payments are completed.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Ask what happens if the cost of your funeral increases between now and when you die. Is there protection available for funeral inflation?  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Talk to your spouse. If you die first, who will pay for the funeral? Where will the money come from? Will there be tax consequences? Would it be easier for the one who will be responsible if the funeral plan were funded? Decide what will work best for your family. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Now, go to your financial advisor. Ask him if you should pay for your funeral in one single payment now, or should you take advantage of one of the payment plans? Share all the information you receive from the funeral home. Get financial advice, not permission, from the one who looks through the lens of the dollars, the financial advisor. Get your funeral planning advice from the one who helps families cope with death, the funeral director. Make your decisions for the ones you love, with the ones you love, your family. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Tue, 05 Nov 2024 21:33:56 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/my-financial-advisor-doesnt-think-its-a-good-idea-to-preplan-my-funeral thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/do-you-have-to-be-a-funeral-director-to-work-at-a-funeral-home There’s no doubt that a funeral director plays an essential role in every funeral, but luckily, they don’t have to do it alone. Especially in larger funeral homes, there can be plenty of people to assist the funeral director and care for families during this emotional time. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> When we talk about working with a funeral home to plan a loved one’s funeral, one person who plays a central role in creating an event that celebrates that loved one’s life is the funeral director. A funeral director is essentially your go-to person at the funeral home, there to provide care and support during an incredibly challenging time. They oversee and direct all funeral services, from viewings and visitations to burials and cremations. But there’s even a lot of work that funeral directors do behind the scenes that families don’t see, such as organizing transportation for your loved one to and from the funeral home, coordinating receptions, and ensuring that all necessary paperwork is filed properly and in a timely manner. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> There’s no doubt that a funeral director plays an essential role in every funeral, but luckily, they don’t have to do it alone. Especially in larger funeral homes, there can be plenty of people to assist the funeral director and care for families during this emotional time. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Who works at a funeral home? </span> </p> <p> <span> One essential part of a funeral home is an embalmer. In the United States, 50 percent of people are embalmed. Embalming is often necessary for funerals and viewings so that the loved one will look more like how families and friends remember them. Although many funeral directors are also embalmers, it’s very common for larger funeral homes to have several embalmers on staff. Not only do embalmers have to have a special license, but they also must have a degree in mortuary science and have undergone an apprenticeship under an experienced embalmer. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> An embalmer may also work as a mortuary cosmetologist, also known as a desairologist. In this position, they work on the hair and makeup of a decedent, an essential part of preparing a loved one for their viewing or open-casket funeral. However, not all embalmers are desairologists, and it’s not uncommon for larger funeral homes to work with additional mortuary cosmetologists. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Although funeral directors oversee all ceremonies, those events couldn’t happen without the work of funeral attendants. Attendants work under funeral directors to ensure that everything runs smoothly so families needn’t worry and can simply grieve in peace. They assist in setting up funeral rooms, transporting caskets, and doing anything a funeral director may need of them. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Not every funeral home has the same type of staff, but advanced planning advisors are often a crucial part of the team. When you pre-plan your funeral, you’re reducing the stress of your family having to wonder if they’re giving you the funeral you truly want. Without pre-planning, an already difficult time becomes even more challenging. Advanced planning advisors work with people who want to save their families from that distress. When you work with an advanced planning advisor, you’re giving your family a blueprint of what you want your funeral to look like. When the time comes, the advanced planning advisor will work with the funeral director and other staff members to put that plan into action. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Just like a funeral home may have someone on staff to help before a funeral even needs to happen, it may also have someone who works with families after the funeral ends. Because funeral homes are such an essential part of a community, many funeral home staff members consider being an active member of their community to be part of their job description. But for some people, their job is solely about caring for the community. Some funeral homes provide aftercare, which means that staff members help families during their time of grief. Since that mourning period doesn’t end with the funeral, neither does the care these funeral homes give. These workers may be grief counselors, or they may go by a different title, but in their role, they make sure that families don’t have to go through mourning alone. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> But many other people play essential roles in creating funerals that celebrate an individual’s life. Administrators and administrative assistants keep a funeral director on track, ensuring they have everything they need to take care of any families who come to their funeral home. They work to create a friendly but professional atmosphere, giving comfort to the families and their guests. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Although the funeral director may be the face that you associate with a funeral home, they’re surrounded by people who care about their community and want to be part of making a funeral a cherished event that celebrates the life of someone who meant so much to so many people. Working in a funeral home takes a kind demeanor and temperament. From administrative assistants to embalmers, funeral home staff members are unique individuals who will care for people during one of the most challenging times in their life. After years of training, these community-minded individuals love the opportunity to be of service to people in need. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Tue, 05 Nov 2024 21:29:47 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/do-you-have-to-be-a-funeral-director-to-work-at-a-funeral-home thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/cremation-after-the-funeral-service Cremation rates have been on the rise in the United States for many years, and it’s becoming more and more common for funeral homes to be holding funerals for loved ones who will be cremated. But how does funeral planning work when your loved one will be cremated? <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Cremation rates have been on the rise in the United States for many years, and it’s becoming more and more common for funeral homes to be holding funerals for loved ones who will be cremated. But how does funeral planning work when your loved one will be cremated? </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Can my loved one be cremated after a funeral service? </span> </p> <p> <span> A common misconception exists that says that you can’t have a funeral service if your loved one is going to be cremated. However, this belief is false. Cremation does not preclude a funeral service. Your plans for your loved one’s service do not have to change due to cremation. You can still have a traditional funeral, if you so choose, where your loved one is present prior to their cremation. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> When making plans for your loved one’s funeral, talk to your funeral director about wanting the funeral before their cremation takes place. You may have either an open or closed casket funeral, and you may not even need to purchase a casket. Many funeral homes offer families the ability to rent a casket for the length of the funeral because your loved one will not then be buried in the casket. You may also hold additional services before the cremation, such as a viewing or visitation. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Similar to how a burial may happen directly after the funeral, your funeral director can work with a crematory to ensure that cremation occurs right after the funeral service. The funeral home may have their own crematory on-site, making this planning process simpler, or they may work with a respected third-party cremation provider. In the case of working with a different provider, the funeral director will also organize transportation for your loved one to their cremation. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Even if you held a funeral before your loved one’s cremation, you might still want additional services. You may opt for a committal service, which is when your loved one’s cremated remains are either buried or interred in a columbarium. Or you may want a scattering ceremony, where your loved one’s ashes are spread in a location that meant a great deal to them in life. These services are often smaller than a funeral. They allow for close family and friends to say a last goodbye to a loved one as they’re placed in their final resting place. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> What if my loved one is cremated before the funeral service? </span> </p> <p> <span> Some people opt for direct cremation before a funeral service, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have a service at all. Although you can’t have a funeral with a casket present or a viewing, you can still have a memorial service after the cremation. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Because a funeral with a decedent present usually has to happen within a certain amount of time, having a memorial service after cremation affords families more time to plan. Memorial services can happen on the same day as a cremation, but they don’t have to be. Some people prefer to take more time to plan the service, and it’s not uncommon for a memorial service to happen weeks or even months after cremation. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> A memorial service can function similarly to a funeral service. You can still have all the aspects of a funeral you may want, such as a eulogy, but the only difference will be that your loved one may be present in an urn, as opposed to being there in a casket. Your family can then choose how they’d like to store or scatter the cremated remains. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Whether you’d like a funeral before cremation or a memorial service after cremation, a funeral home can help. Talk to your funeral director about what you picture for your loved one’s services, and they’ll be able to guide you toward a decision that’s right for you and your family. In either case, you’ll be planning a ceremony that honors the life of your loved one, regardless of what their final disposition may be. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> https://www.ueckerwitt.com/ </a> </p> </div> Tue, 05 Nov 2024 21:28:00 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/cremation-after-the-funeral-service thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-is-an-ossuary Ossuaries are found in a growing number of cemeteries. They provide a dignified final resting place for those who prefer to be cremated but are not comfortable with the impermanence of scattering. The ossuary space has a low environmental impact, costs less than burial, and gives the family the added benefit of knowing the one they loved rests in a place that will remain intact. Ossuaries provide a dignified final resting place for those who prefer cremation. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Ossuaries are making a comeback as an alternative final resting place for cremated remains. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> In ancient times, as far back as c. 40 B.C.E., ossuaries were popular among the Jewish population. An ossuary is a chest, box, building, well, cave or site made to serve as the final resting place of human skeletal remains. Historically ossuaries have been used in areas where burial space was scarce or in situations where large numbers of people died in a short time such as a plague or battle. The deceased would first be buried in a temporary gravesite and then after some years the skeletal remains would be removed and placed in an ossuary. An ossuary is a communal space where the bones of many people are entombed together often arranged in elaborate patterns. They were always sites of reverence and respect. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> There are many historic ossuaries around the world that can be visited today. One of the most recent to be constructed is the Phnom Penh Memorial Stupa in Cambodia. Between 1975 and 1979 the Khmer Rouge killed 1.7 million people. Many of those people were buried in unceremonious mass graves. The Phnom Penh memorial stupa holds the remains of an estimated 10,000 people who were removed from the mass graves and moved to the memorial to provide a dignified final resting place. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Today’s ossuaries are very different in that they do not require exhumation and reburial of bones. Ossuaries today consist of an above ground tomb/marker and an underground vault. Cremated remains, usually contained in a soft material bag inscribed with the name, birth date, and death date of the deceased are dropped into the vault where they rest in community with others. These ossuaries are similar to the ancient in that more than one individual is entombed. They are communal and they hold bone albeit bone fragments produced as the result of the cremation process. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Ossuaries are found in a growing number of cemeteries. They provide a dignified final resting place for those who prefer to be cremated but are not comfortable with the impermanence of scattering. The ossuary space has a low environmental impact, costs less than burial, and gives the family the added benefit of knowing the one they loved rests in a place that will remain intact. Ossuaries provide a dignified final resting place for those who prefer cremation. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Tue, 05 Nov 2024 21:25:56 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-is-an-ossuary thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/every-day-is-full-of-moments-moments-charged-with-opportunity Grief and loss are difficult. Caregiving can feel thankless. Still, every single day comes with many little moments that can lighten the load. They are there. However, you have to be open and make the effort to see the opportunity. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Every day is full of moments. Moments charged with opportunity. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> You are probably familiar with the iconic National Geographic photo of a grizzly bear just about to close his jaw on a salmon that is literally jumping into his mouth. That photo, taken by Joel Sartore in 1999, speaks to us because it perfectly captures a singular moment of opportunity. An opportunistic moment is something a whole lot of folks are hoping will come their way. They are waiting for their moment. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Do you think Joel, or the bear for that matter, waited for that moment? How many fish do you suppose the bear missed before he caught that one? How many fish did he catch before or after in a much less choregraphed (perhaps even awkward) manner? Do you suppose that was Joel’s only shot of the day or do you imagine he took lots and lots of shots before luck and skill came together and he captured that one? </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Here’s the thing, it’s easy to miss a million little moments of opportunity when you are waiting for the perfect big opportunity. This pattern of waiting is especially easy to fall into when you are grieving or are overwhelmed with care giving. The sad thing is that just when a person would benefit the most from little shining moments, those moments pass by unnoticed.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> So, open your eyes and look. When your caregiving duties have you up in the night just take a moment to look at the night sky. When you are out shopping at the food store or picking up something at the pharmacy, speak to the checkout person. See if you can make them smile. Nothing warms the heart like making another person smile.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Grief and loss are difficult. Caregiving can feel thankless. Still, every single day comes with many little moments that can lighten the load. They are there. However, you have to be open and make the effort to see the opportunity. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Tue, 05 Nov 2024 21:13:38 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/every-day-is-full-of-moments-moments-charged-with-opportunity thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/moving-on-with-life-after-the-death-of-a-loved-one Moving on is not the same as forgetting. Moving on after the death of a loved one, especially a spouse, just means actively engaging in life. It means reaching a point where the mourner has things to look forward to again. J. William Worden, PhD tells us the fourth task mourners must accomplish as they move through grief is to “find an enduring connection with the deceased while moving on with life.” <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Moving on is not the same as forgetting. Moving on after the death of a loved one, especially a spouse, just means actively engaging in life. It means reaching a point where the mourner has things to look forward to again. J. William Worden, PhD tells us the fourth task mourners must accomplish as they move through grief is to “find an enduring connection with the deceased while moving on with life.” </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> In Worden’s model, moving on is described as a task rather than a stage. That’s an important distinction and implies active engagement on the part of the mourner. It gives the survivor some control and responsibility for the direction of their life moving forward. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> The more closely entwined the mourner’s life was to the life of the deceased the harder it will be to “move on with life.” When a person’s life has been moving along in lock step with a spouse or partner for the better part of his or her adult life, the adjustment can be very difficult. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Some mourners will decide to move on with life as a single. That will mean changing plans. The trips or activities a couple planned to do together will now need to be undertaken alone, with a friend, or abandoned and changed entirely. An open mind and willingness to stretch one’s comfort zone can bring new opportunities. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> When one door closes another door opens. Painful as it is to lose a spouse, it is possible to find yourself with time to engage in hobbies or interests that had be put on the shelf because they were not enjoyed by a partner.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Some mourners will partner up again with someone new. With that method of moving on comes the task of overcoming fear and putting oneself out there … dating. It may mean working with other family members to gain acceptance of the new person in one’s life. It will most certainly mean adjusting to new expectations, personalities, and habits.   A new spouse will never be just like the one who died. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Whatever the path a widow or widower takes new skills will need to be learned, new things will need to be tried, and adjustments made. It takes work. But then isn’t that just a part of life? </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Tue, 05 Nov 2024 21:05:43 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/moving-on-with-life-after-the-death-of-a-loved-one thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-is-a-columbarium-niche A columbarium niche is a final resting place for ashes after cremation. Niches are above ground and are most often built into a wall. The wall is made up of individual compartments that hold an urn containing the ashes of one individual. Columbarium niches are available at many cemeteries and some churches. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> A columbarium niche is a final resting place for ashes after cremation. Niches are above ground and are most often built into a wall. The wall is made up of individual compartments that hold an urn containing the ashes of one individual. Columbarium niches are available at many cemeteries and some churches. The niches or compartments may be glass-enclosed, allowing the urn or container to be seen. An alternative design uses sealed stone cubicles very similar to a mausoleum. Sometimes the wall contains open niches. The columbarium wall may be contained in a building or may be free-standing outdoors. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> The size of the Niche is usually a standard 9x9x9. This means the choice of urn is limited to something that will fit in the niche. Depending on the design of the columbarium, the choice of urn may be further restricted. There are some columbarium that are stunningly beautiful with glass niches backlit to enhance the display of ceramic urns. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Although cremated remains, or ashes, may be scattered in a location that was special to the deceased, there are laws. Each state regulates where ashes may be scattered. Sometimes scattering is not practical. Often scattering does not satisfy the need of family members to have a fixed location where they can go to remember. A columbarium niche provides a permanent resting place for cremated remains. The cost varies with location but generally speaking it is less than that of burial. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> The choice to be cremated does not in any way dictate the type of funeral service that may be held. A full funeral service including visitation with the body present can be held prior to the body being cremated. The service may be faith based or a celebration of life or it may include both. The choice to cremate does require that an individual seriously consider the needs of their family when choosing among the many options regarding a final resting place for the cremated remains. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Tue, 17 Sep 2024 16:44:27 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-is-a-columbarium-niche thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/funeral-word-quiz Find out how much you know about funeral service. Match the definition to the words below. See how well you do. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Find out how much you know about funeral service. Match the definition to the words below. See how well you do. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Definitions </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> 1.    A chemical process that uses a solution of 95% water and 5% potassium hydroxide or sodium hydroxide to reduce a body to components of liquid and bone. Bone fragments are retained so they can be dried and turned into a substance similar to cremated ashes. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> 2.    A service, held without the body present, that commemorates the life of the deceased. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> 3.    A speech usually delivered by a family member or close personal friend at funerals or memorials used to honor and pay respect to the deceased. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> 4.    A permanent outside burial container which is sealed and affords protection to the casket. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> 5.    A notice of a person’s death published in a newspaper; usually contains biographical details and information about funeral or memorial services. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> 6.    The ceremony conducted immediately before the disposition of the dead human body, this service may or may not be faith based. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> 7.    A trained and licensed individual who provides support to the bereaved during initial stages of their grief; arranges and directs funeral ceremonies; arranges for the removal of the deceased from the place of death; prepares the body according to the wishes of the survivors and requirements of the law; secures information for legal documents; files death certificates and other legal papers; assists survivors with filing claims for death benefits. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> 8.    A memorial structure where inurned cremated remains are entombed. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> 9.    A permanent outside burial container, generally consisting of a concrete box and a lid. It is not intended to provide any sealed protection to the casket. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> 10. The reduction of human remains by intense heat and flame to ash and bone fragments. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> 11. A person who serves as the leader of a funeral service; may be an ordained member of the clergy or a lay person who has received specialized training on rituals and funeral traditions. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> 12.  A Funeral or Memorial Service where the focus is on all aspects of the life of the deceased; their work, family connections, hobbies and interests as well as their accomplishments. This type of service may or may not include a religious component. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> WORDS </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> ____ Memorial Services  ____ Funeral Service ____ Celebration of Life </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> ____ Vault ____ Grave Liner ____ Columbarium Niche </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> ____ Funeral Celebrant ____ Funeral Director ____ Cremation ____ Eulogy </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> ____ Obituary. ____Alkaline Hydrolysis </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Bonus Question:  To Put a smile on your face. What is it? </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> A BEER … A BIER… A BEAR </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> ·     Comes in black, brown, and even black and white. Weighs between 300 and 1400 pounds! Is fuzzy and sleeps all winter. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     A stand on which a casket is placed before burial. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     A fermented beverage served very cold—it just hits the spot on a hot day. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Tue, 17 Sep 2024 16:42:28 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/funeral-word-quiz thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/10-ways-to-customize-a-funeral Funerals aren’t one-size-fits-all. One of the most important steps in funeral planning is customization. How is this funeral right for your loved one? How are you celebrating your loved one’s life through everything from the floral arrangements to the clothing they’re wearing? What makes this funeral uniquely your loved one’s funeral? Here are a few ways to customize a funeral for your loved one. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Funerals aren’t one-size-fits-all. One of the most important steps in funeral planning is customization. How is this funeral right for your loved one? How are you celebrating your loved one’s life through everything from the floral arrangements to the clothing they’re wearing? What makes this funeral uniquely your loved one’s funeral? Here are a few ways to customize a funeral for your loved one. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h2> <span> 10 Ways to Customize a Loved One’s Funeral </span> </h2> <h3> <span> 1.  Put together a community project. </span> </h3> <p> <span> When you’re thinking about how you can honor your loved one in their funeral, consider that you don’t have to do it alone. A community project to display at the funeral brings people together. Try to think of a project that fits something that your loved one enjoyed in their life. Maybe they were always in the kitchen, baking their favorite recipes. You could ask funeral-goers to contribute recipes that the decedent shared with them throughout their life for a recipe book. Or, if they loved to sew or crochet, you could make a memorial quilt, with everyone contributing their own granny square that they feel symbolizes the decedent. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h3> <span> 2. Incorporate beloved items into a display. </span> </h3> <p> <span> Funeral flowers are a lovely way to honor a loved one, but consider taking the arrangements a step further and incorporating items that remind you of your loved one into the displays. If your loved one’s favorite thing to do was to be out on their surfboard, catching waves, build a floral display around the board. Or you could create a separate display outside of the floral arrangements. If your loved one received honors for their service in the military, for instance, you could build a section of the funeral where their metals could sit amongst photos of their time serving. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h3> <span> 3. Have something for guests to take home. </span> </h3> <p> <span> The idea of funeral favors isn’t all that common, but it’s a way to have your guests bring something that reminds them of their loved one home. You could put together seed packets from your loved one’s garden if they were known for their green thumb. Or, if they were known for making the best jams and jellies around, use their recipe to make some small containers to give out at the funeral. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h3> <span> 4. Make a memorial slideshow. </span> </h3> <p> <span> <span> A memorial slideshow can be shown during the funeral, but it can also be put on loop to be projected throughout a viewing or reception. No matter how you choose to show your slideshow, it’ll be an homage to the life that your loved one lived. Ask family and friends to send you their favorite photos of your loved one, or ask them to put them all in a Google Drive folder to make collecting them a little easier. You could use slideshow services like Microsoft PowerPoint or Google Slides or a service that’s directly made for memorial slideshows, like </span> </span> <a href="https://www.smilebox.com/maker/slideshow-maker/memorial/" target="_blank"> Smilebox’s memorial slideshow maker </a> <span> . </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h3> <span> 5. Choose meaningful clothing. </span> </h3> <p> <span> It used to be more common that a decedent would be dressed in semi-formal clothing, but that tradition has been receding. Now, it’s considered less necessary to have a decedent dress more formally, and it’s more common for them to be dressed in a way that reminds funeral-goers of who they were. When you pick out clothing for your loved one, look for outfits that you have special memories of them in. If your loved one always wore their favorite colorful dress to every occasion, perhaps they should also wear it for their funeral. But even then, you don’t have to pick out clothing that they wore only to formal events. If your loved one loved their blue jeans, there’s no rule that says that they can’t wear them for the funeral. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h3> <span> 6. Arrange for military honors, if applicable. </span> </h3> <p> <span> <span> If your loved one was a veteran, you could plan to hold </span> </span> <a href="https://www.defense.gov/Help-Center/Article/Article/2746201/arranging-military-funeral-honors-for-a-veteran/" target="_blank"> military honors at their funeral </a> <span> <span> with the help of your funeral director. All honorably discharged veterans are entitled to military honors. By law, that includes an honor guard detail consisting of at least two members of the U.S. Armed Forces, one of whom must be from the decedent’s service branch. The ceremony includes the playing of taps and the folding and presentation of the American flag to the decedent’s next of kin. </span> </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h3> <span> 7. Dine on their favorite foods and recipes. </span> </h3> <p> <span> Food has the power to bring back so many memories. To incorporate food into a funeral, you could plan a reception with all of their favorite meals. Another way to make food a part of the funeral is by baking a few of your loved one’s most beloved recipes and putting them out during the service. Pick recipes that are easy to eat and not too messy, like a cookie. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h3> <span> 8. Organize a scattering ceremony at a special location. </span> </h3> <p> <span> A funeral ceremony isn’t the only event that you can plan for your loved one. You could also host a number of additional events, including a scattering ceremony if your loved one is to be cremated. A scattering ceremony is often very personal because you’re deciding where to spread their ashes based on what they loved in life. Although you can’t scatter ashes just anywhere, you can spread them in certain places like at sea or in a national park. Just make sure that you’re following all local, state, and federal restrictions. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h3> <span> 9. Print photos for a display or scrapbook. </span> </h3> <p> <span> Sharing photos of your loved one adds to the celebration of your loved one’s life. There are many ways to make pictures a part of the funeral beyond the memorial slideshow. You could print poster boards of your loved one to greet guests at the entrance. Or you could make a collage to add to other displays around the room. Many funeral homes also offer photo printing as a service, so talk to your funeral director about your photo options. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h3> <span> 10. Add music. </span> </h3> <p> <span> Music is a powerfully connective force, and if music was especially important to your loved one, find a way to add it to their funeral. You could make a playlist of their favorite songs to play during the viewing or hire a singer to perform one of their favorite songs during the funeral service itself. You could also hire a band or solo artist to perform at a reception. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Customizing a funeral looks different for every family, and you may have some of your own ideas about ways to make your loved one’s funeral personal to them. Whatever your ideas may be, talk to your funeral director about them. Even if you believe they may be challenging to do, funeral homes have plenty of experience turning those unique ideas into beautiful aspects of a loved one’s funeral. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Tue, 17 Sep 2024 16:40:23 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/10-ways-to-customize-a-funeral thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/the-changing-face-of-american-veterans So, who do we thank? We thank all service men and women. We thank the husbands, wives and children of our service men and women. Post 9/11 military service is a family job. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Veteran’s Day is the day Americans set aside to honor all who have served in the military during times of war and times of peace. We thank them all. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Many books have been written and movies made about World Wars I and II, Korea, and even Vietnam. But, what do we know about our post 9/11 Veterans? Who are they? Who do we thank? </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> When the draft ended in 1973, all branches of the armed services began the transition to the all-volunteer military force we have today. Since that time, the makeup of the military has been changing. While the total number of troops serving is declining, the force is becoming more diverse racially, ethnically, and by gender.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> The majority of new recruits come from families with incomes between $38,345 – $80,912. Eighty percent come from families with a history of service. Their father, uncle, or grandfather also served. The share of the US population with military experience is on the decline. Seven percent of the total US population served in 2016 down from eighteen percent in 1980. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Fifty six percent of active duty personal are married, seven percent are in dual military families and thirty nine percent have children. According to a study conducted by the Rand Corporation since 2001, 2.77 million service members have served on 5.4 million deployments across the world with soldiers from the Army accounting for the bulk of them. Deployed personnel were under 30 years old on average, over half were married and about half had children. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> On average military personnel sign on for four years of active duty plus four years in the reserves. Deployment for service personnel is typically for a period of 12 months followed by 12 months stateside. A post 9/11 service person will very likely see a second deployment during their term of enlistment. Career service members typically rotate 12 months deployed, 12 months home, 12 months deployed, 24 months home.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> So, who do we thank? We thank all service men and women. We thank the husbands, wives and children of our service men and women. Post 9/11 military service is a family job. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Tue, 17 Sep 2024 16:35:14 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/the-changing-face-of-american-veterans thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/why-preplanning-is-a-good-thing-for-parents Preplanning your funeral as a parent is giving a final gift to your children. Losing a parent is something that many people will experience in life, but the loss is always difficult. You can make this challenging time easier for your children by allowing them to grieve in peace without the worry of funeral planning. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> No one likes to imagine a time when they’re not around to help their children anymore. A parent’s job is never done, regardless of how old their children are. But there may be a time when a parent is no longer there physically for their children. However, there’s one final gift that any parent can give to their child. Preplanning your funeral as a parent can save your child from added pain and stress during an already challenging time. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h2> <span> Why Should Parents Preplan? </span> </h2> <h3> <span> If you have several children, you’ll spare them from future spats. </span> </h3> <p> <span> When a parent passes away, it usually falls to the children to plan their funeral and disposition. But what happens when there are several children making decisions? Unfortunately, if they don’t know their parent’s wishes, those children will often butt heads because they all have different ideas that they want to follow. Everyone only gets one funeral and one disposition, so it’s crucial that they properly honor the loved one who passed. But each child may have a different image of what honoring their parent looks like. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> By preplanning your funeral, your children will know what your wishes are. There won’t be any competing ideas that can result in arguments. There will be one set of instructions to follow — yours. During a time of great grief, emotions can run high, which can make even the smallest of arguments quickly compound. With your preplanning instructions, they can grieve together in peace instead of fighting while they should be spending time comforting and supporting one another. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h3> <span> If you have one child, you’ll spare them from becoming overwhelmed. </span> </h3> <p> <span> If you do have multiple children, you can take comfort in knowing that they’ll be going through the funeral planning process together. And while that can lead to fights, it can also lead to them feeling less alone during a lonely time, especially if you preplan to make arguments less likely. However, if you only have one child, they’ll be the only one making the decisions around your funeral. They may feel like they have no one to talk to, causing them to wonder if they’re making the right choices with no one else supplying their thoughts. The funeral planning process can feel overwhelming. There are many decisions to be made, from what types of services to have to where your final resting place should be. Losing a parent can trigger feelings of loneliness and isolation, in addition to powerful grief. But if your child has to plan every detail of your funeral and disposition while they’re already emotionally taxed, they may neglect taking care of themselves in favor of taking care of the funeral. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> It’s hard to be an only child who lost their parent. There are no siblings there to comfort one another. Your child may find themselves feeling more alone than they’ve ever felt. By preplanning your funeral, you take the stress of worrying about the funeral off of them. You’re giving them a gift, saying that they can take care of themselves during this difficult time, rather than thinking about every detail of the funeral. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h3> <span> You’ll know that you’ve done your best to guide your children through the funeral process. </span> </h3> <p> <span> Parents never stop teaching. Whether your child is three or 43, you want to be a source of knowledge and guidance for them. Parents wish that they had all the answers in the world for their children, but one answer that they can give is what they want at their funeral and as a final resting place. Still, because talking about funerals and disposition can be uncomfortable, many parents neglect to have this essential conversation with their children. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> When you preplan a funeral, you’re going one step further than simply talking about what you want. You’re giving your children a blueprint. Your children will know that they are hosting the funeral that you wanted, giving them peace of mind. They can mourn without any concerns about whether or not they’ve done right by your wishes. They’ll have your wishes written out for their guidance. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <h3> <span> You can opt to prefund, saving your children from future financial woes. </span> </h3> <p> <span> Although you can preplan without prefunding your funeral, choosing prefund can spare your children from worrying about whether or not they can afford the funeral you deserve. Many believe that life insurance will cover the cost of a funeral and disposition, but the funds that your family receives through life insurance are often used to cover other end-of-life care, like medical expenses. At the time of a funeral, services must be paid in full. Without prefunding, your children may end up struggling to cover the costs. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> When you preplan your funeral, talk to your funeral director about your option for prefunding. They can walk you through the different plans that can help you cover your funeral and disposition in full, preventing your children from having to worry about if their finances line up with the funeral you’ve planned. There are many different options for paying toward your funeral, so working with a funeral director can ensure that you’re using a plan that works best for you and your family. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> The best way to preplan, whether you intend to prefund or not, is by working with a funeral home. Planning with a funeral home takes more of the guesswork out of arranging your funeral. Your children will know exactly where your plans can be found, and they’ll be able to work with a funeral director who understands your wishes. Preplanning your funeral with a funeral home is a free process that anyone can do. It’s the best way to ensure that your final wishes are honored. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Preplanning your funeral as a parent is giving a final gift to your children. Losing a parent is something that many people will experience in life, but the loss is always difficult. You can make this challenging time easier for your children by allowing them to grieve in peace without the worry of funeral planning. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Tue, 17 Sep 2024 16:32:49 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/why-preplanning-is-a-good-thing-for-parents thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/memorial-service-does-my-casket-or-urn-need-to-be-present A memorial service differs from a traditional funeral service in that it takes place after final disposition. Final disposition is either the cremation or burial of the deceased. So, the answer is no—neither the urn nor the casket need to be present at a memorial service. That said, in the case of a memorial service following cremation the urn may be present if that is the family’s desire. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> A memorial service differs from a traditional funeral service in that it takes place after final disposition. Final disposition is either the cremation or burial of the deceased. So, the answer is no—neither the urn nor the casket need to be present at a memorial service. That said, in the case of a memorial service following cremation the urn may be present if that is the family’s desire.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Because a memorial service takes place after either burial or cremation have occurred, the urgency to put together a speedy service is removed. A memorial may take place days, weeks, or ever years after a death. This allows a family that is spread over a great distance with time to arrange for travel, time off work, return from overseas postings, or whatever would likely make it impossible for all to gather on short notice.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> A memorial service also works well when a family prefers to be more creative in their farewell. The additional time supports the family’s efforts to arrange for music or food. It provides more time to gather photos, find appropriate readings, and find the perfect venue for the service.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> A memorial service may be held just about anywhere. Many funeral homes have space designated for these services that includes audio visual equipment and, in some cases, catering and food service capabilities. Be sure to ask your funeral director for guidance and advice. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> A memorial service may be faith based if the individual’s religion permits. Some religions require that disposition take place immediately after death, making memorial service the standard. Other denominations require the body be present for the religious part of the service, making a traditional funeral service a better fit. Again, your funeral director is well-versed in the religious traditions in your community and is an invaluable resource for putting together a service that supports your family’s faith base. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> There are a few considerations that are best not overlooked when planning a memorial service. The amount of time between death and the memorial service can become protracted and that can create a burden for some family members. Be aware that many people have an acute need to gather with friends and family, talk about the person who died with others who loved them, cry in a safe place, and receive a much-needed hug. The memorial provides that opportunity and until it takes place, their pain is fresh; most people find a service helps put them on firm footing as they begin their grief journey. It is a good idea to check in with close family members and establish a timeline for the memorial service that takes everyone’s needs into consideration. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> <span> The second consideration is the “creativity” piece. When we have a traditional funeral service or a religious based funeral service there is a fairly clear roadmap. When that doesn’t fit for you, or your family, and you are not a creative group you need to speak up and ask your funeral director for help. Not every family has people who are comfortable with public speaking to deliver a eulogy or put together music or a photo slide show. Your funeral director is a resource, so feel free to ask for his or her help.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Tue, 17 Sep 2024 16:30:03 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/memorial-service-does-my-casket-or-urn-need-to-be-present thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/five-tips-to-help-with-the-year-of-firsts The first year following the death of someone dear—a parent, a child, a sibling, a spouse, or a good friend—is frequently referred to as “the year of firsts.” It will be the first time the holidays, birthdays, and the occasions both sad and happy that were shared and witnessed with the person who has passed will come and go alone, without the loved one. For most people it is a tough year. Still there are things that can be done to make experiencing these milestones easier. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> The first year following the death of someone dear—a parent, a child, a sibling, a spouse, or a good friend—is frequently referred to as “the year of firsts.” It will be the first time the holidays, birthdays, and the occasions both sad and happy that were shared and witnessed with the person who has passed will come and go alone, without the loved one. For most people it is a tough year. Still there are things that can be done to make experiencing these milestones easier. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> 1. </span> <span>     </span> <span> Avoid being blindsided </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Keep an eye on your calendar. Know what is coming. Be aware of the   approaching anniversary, birthday, holiday or time of year when you always took a vacation with the person who has died is approaching. Do not let the day sneak up on you and catch you off guard. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> 2. </span> <span>     </span> <span> Know that ignoring the occasion won’t help </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> When a sensitive occasion is noted on the horizon it may be tempting to think about just ignoring it and letting the day pass. That seldom works out well. Most find the loss of sharing the day with one’s special person cannot be ignored. Trying to do so may mean spending the day alone with a great big elephant in the room.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> These are things everyone who has experienced a loss must go through. There is no going around. Grief is often likened to a journey. The first year is full of milestones encountered along the path to living life without the person who was loved. The end of the journey is not forgetting that person, it is finding a way to live life without the loved one in it. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> 3. </span> <span>     </span> <span> Make a plan </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Decide how you will mark the occasion. For some a trip to the cemetery will feel right. It might be a good idea to ask a friend or someone who shares your loss to come along. For others it may mean coming up with an alternative plan for spending a holiday. If the day was always celebrated with family at mom’s house and it is mom who has died, the family may all need to be included in how the day will be best celebrated. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> 4. </span> <span>     </span> <span> Acknowledge your loss </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Just as ignoring the day is not a good strategy, neither is ignoring the fact someone is missing from the celebration. Perhaps it will be appropriate to acknowledge your loss privately by making a visit to the cemetery or church to say a prayer or have a “chat” with your loved one. In some instances, you may find yourself spending the day with others who share your loss. In that case it may be lovely to include a mention, toast, or other remembrance of the one who died. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> 5. </span> <span>     </span> <span> Include others </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> If you can, avoid spending the day alone. Do something with someone you love. It doesn’t have to be the same thing you always did with the person who is gone. While it may be enjoyable to carry on a tradition for some, for others the tradition may feel hallow when done with a “replacement person.” What you do should be something you enjoy. The idea is to own your loss, making an effort to celebrate the occasion in a way that is pleasant. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Tue, 17 Sep 2024 16:25:04 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/five-tips-to-help-with-the-year-of-firsts thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/funeral-service-and-veterans-benefits The Federal Government provides a death benefit for honorable discharged veterans. The dollar amount varies based on where the death occurs (VA hospital) and if the death was service-related. In most cases the benefit is modest and will not cover the entire cost of a funeral, burial, or cremation. Your local funeral home is an excellent resource to help veterans and their families understand the benefit that is available. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> The Funeral Home is the best resource for understanding veterans death benefits. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> The Federal Government provides a death benefit for honorable discharged veterans. The dollar amount varies based on where the death occurs (VA hospital) and if the death was service-related. In most cases the benefit is modest and will not cover the entire cost of a funeral, burial, or cremation. Your local funeral home is an excellent resource to help veterans and their families understand the benefit that is available.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> <a href="http://www.va.gov" target="_blank"> www.va.gov </a> </p> <p> <span> VA will pay up to $796 toward burial and funeral expenses for deaths on or after October 1, 2019 (if hospitalized by VA at time of death), or $300 toward burial and funeral expenses (if not hospitalized by VA at time of death), and a $796 plot-interment allowance (if not buried in a national cemetery). </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Most funeral homes will provide a consultation and planning session at no charge upon request. It is never too soon to schedule a meeting with a funeral planner. Understanding exactly the benefit that will be available upon death is the best way for veterans to assure their family is not misinformed and thereby disappointed in the benefit they receive when death does occur. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> The funeral planner will review the current benefits available from the U.S. Government. These benefits have been subject to change over the years, making obtaining current up-to-date information important. The planner will discuss your funeral service desires and your family’s funeral expectations and needs. The planner will also discuss the military graveside service and US flag that can be provided, if you desire, upon death. During your planning session you will also review final disposition options. Final disposition is a term referring to a person’s personal preference to be buried or cremated and the location of your final resting place. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> During a meeting with a funeral planner the veteran will have the opportunity to ask questions about burial availability in a local Veteran’s cemetery, funeral service and memorial service options as well as review funeral products such as caskets and vaults that honor the different branches of military service.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> It is a good idea bring a copy of discharge papers (DD214) to the meeting. Making a list of your questions and bringing it to the meeting as well will help to assure your questions are answered and nothing is overlooked. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> It is also a good idea to ask the planner about any programs the funeral home has to help fill in the cost difference between the US Government Benefit amount and the estimated cost of the funeral service. Many funeral homes provide the opportunity to set up manageable payment plans to cover the gap. Some funeral homes even offer plans that provide coverage for the entire cost should death occur before all payments are complete.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Once a funeral plan is completed it should be kept on file at the funeral home along with a copy of the DD214.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Fri, 13 Sep 2024 16:05:18 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/funeral-service-and-veterans-benefits thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/how-to-get-the-funeral-you-want Some events only happen once in a lifetime. Graduations, weddings, and funerals are a few of these one-time occasions. That means the way the event is marked makes a lasting impression. If the cake at the wedding was supposed to be chocolate and it was not it does not ruin the marriage or even the day, but it can mar the occasion and it is usually the thing that is remembered. It was not right and it is never forgotten. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Don’t be afraid to ask the funeral director your question or to speak up and say what you want. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Some events only happen once in a lifetime. Graduations, weddings, and funerals are a few of these one-time occasions. That means the way the event is marked makes a lasting impression. If the cake at the wedding was supposed to be chocolate and it was not it does not ruin the marriage or even the day, but it can mar the occasion and it is usually the thing that is remembered. It was not right and it is never forgotten. </span> </p> <p> <span> <br/> </span> </p> <p> <span> When a funeral is not “right”, when a minister mispronounces the deceased’s name, or the dress mom always told you she wanted to wear is not the one your brother chose, the hurt can go deep and last a long time. Getting the funeral right for your family is very important.  </span> </p> <p> <span> <br/> </span> </p> <p> <span> When you meet with the funeral director do not be afraid to speak up. Funeral directors are kind, caring people, but they are not mind readers. Tell your director what you want. Tell her what you do not want. Ask questions. Tell him about your mother, father, or spouse. Ask how to bring out what you loved about the person you lost. Treat the funeral director like you would a wedding planner. Share where family members are having a problem agreeing and ask for guidance. </span> </p> <p> <span> <br/> </span> </p> <p> <span> Rules are made to be broken. If the number of pictures, songs, or readings recommended by the director doesn’t seem to match what you had in mind, speak up. No one at the funeral home wants your family to struggle to get the number of photos for the video down to twenty when what you really want is forty. If what you really want is for your deceased daughter to wear her cheerleading outfit for her visitation and something else for the church service speak up. Just because the body is usually dressed only once doesn’t mean it must be that way. Funeral directors know how important every detail is to the families they serve. They just don’t know what is important to you if you don’t tell them. </span> </p> <p> <span> <br/> </span> </p> <p> <span> <br/> </span> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Sun, 01 Sep 2024 15:21:56 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/how-to-get-the-funeral-you-want thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-is-a-green-funeral The term “green funeral” refers to ceremony, service, and body disposition that focuses on preservation of the earth. Many of those who live “green” also wish to end “green”. Just as living green is carried out in different ways and with many choices, there are also many different methods of having a green funeral. Your funeral director is your best guide to the green funeral options available in your geographic area. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> The term “green funeral” refers to ceremony, service, and body disposition that focuses on preservation of the earth. Many of those who live “green” also wish to end “green”. Just as living green is carried out in different ways and with many choices, there are also many different methods of having a green funeral. Your funeral director is your best guide to the green funeral options available in your geographic area. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> For one person living green may mean passing on the offer of a plastic straw. For others, green may mean living off the grid and bicycling to work. One can be all in, or just a little green. Funerals can also be greenish or very green. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> <span> Sometimes a green living choice comes with a cost savings and sometimes going green costs more. For example, you’ll use less fuel with a hybrid automobile. Using less gas will generate a cost savings. However, you will usually pay more for a hybrid car than for the same make and model that is not hybrid. Green is not about saving dollars—it is a lifestyle. A belief system motivated by a sense of responsibility for our home, the planet earth. It is a choice.  </span> </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> If you are motivated to pursue a green goodbye, you will be pleased to know that your choice will not require that you give up any of the healing aspects of a funeral service. Service, gathering, and viewing the body can all be included in a green funeral. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Funeral directors have access to environmentally friendly embalming chemicals. If your family prefers to have the body present for the funeral service that can be accomplished. Should a private family viewing be more in line with your green funeral plans, the body can be simply prepared without embalming to make that experience possible for family members.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Green cemeteries or green areas in traditional cemeteries usually do not require a burial vault or grave liner. The body is shrouded and placed directly in the earth or placed in a biodegradable container which is buried. Those who opt for a green burial do so because disruption to the earth is minimized. No harsh chemicals from embalming, no treated wood or metal casket and no metals or concrete from a grave liner are introduced in the grave space. If you remember our hybrid car example something similar occurs with green burials. In most cemeteries a green burial space will cost more than a traditional burial space, but you will not incur the cost of the vault.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> For those who prefer cremation you will need to know that all cremators (the device where cremation takes place) are not created equal. Newer models tend to have a smaller carbon footprint. Ask your funeral director which providers in your area are the most environmentally friendly. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> There are also many different green options when it comes to the final resting place for cremated remains. Cremated remains can be incorporated into objects that become family heirlooms, or, they can become part of an underwater reef. There is a nearly unlimited number of earth-friendly alternatives of what to do with cremated remains. When making funeral arrangements tell your funeral director that green is important to you and ask for help in finding service providers that support your values. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Fri, 16 Aug 2024 14:29:12 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-is-a-green-funeral thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-helps-when-a-person-is-sad Some things are so simple that it’s easy to doubt their ability to help. In times of trouble, it is often the little things that make all the difference. Chicken soup when you feel a cold coming on, a hug, and a warm chocolate chip cookie all make a person feel better. Even though they don’t really fix the problem, they help. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Some things are so simple that it’s easy to doubt their ability to help. In times of trouble, it is often the little things that make all the difference. Chicken soup when you feel a cold coming on, a hug, and a warm chocolate chip cookie all make a person feel better. Even though they don’t really fix the problem, they help. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Writing in a journal on a daily basis may seem like it’s too much trouble to undertake. Especially when a person is in the midst of major life changes like dealing with chronic illness, moving, divorce, or grieving. But journaling has been proven to elevate mood and really help people deal with crisis and loss. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> A journal does not judge, a journal will not be uncomfortable with your sorrow, a journal will not try to “fix” you. A journal is a silent listener. You set the pace. It lets you have good days and bad days. A journal absorbs anger and celebrates joy. It helps a person move through the hard work of grieving. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> If you know someone who has experienced a loss or is going through a difficult life change, give them a journal. If you receive a journal use it. It may take a while to become comfortable with writing on a daily basis. Stick with it. It takes a while to ingrain a habit. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Pick a time of day that works for you and set aside fifteen minutes to write. Some like to start their day with a journal entry. Others prefer to end their day with a few quiet minutes with the pen and a blank page. Write whatever comes to your mind. It’s not a novel. Spelling and grammar don’t matter. What you write doesn’t need to make sense or be eloquent.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> What does matter is that you actually write, not type. Laying down words with a pen or pencil on paper is processed by the brain differently than typing. It just is. It also matters that you journal every day. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Writing in a journal won’t fix your problems, but it will help you grapple with and succeed at working through what ails you. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Sun, 04 Aug 2024 17:29:37 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-helps-when-a-person-is-sad thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/should-we-have-an-open-casket “I was very surprised at my reaction. Seeing John in his casket wasn’t something I was looking forward to. His daughter (from his first marriage) really wanted an open casket. So, I agreed. Mostly just to remain on good terms with my stepdaughter. He looked so peaceful. He had a Mona Lisa smile. I am so glad I didn’t stick to what he and I had talked about. The opportunity for that last good good-bye ended up meaning the world to me… and his daughter.” <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> “I was very surprised at my reaction. Seeing John in his casket wasn’t something I was looking forward to. His daughter (from his first marriage) really wanted an open casket. So, I agreed. Mostly just to remain on good terms with my stepdaughter. He looked so peaceful. He had a Mona Lisa smile. I am so glad I didn’t stick to what he and I had talked about. The opportunity for that last good good-bye ended up meaning the world to me… and his daughter.” </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Many long-standing funeral practices, like viewing the deceased, are undervalued today. Perhaps we should think again? Maybe go slowly? Allow for individual family members to say goodbye in a way that is most meaningful to them.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> There is a value to “seeing” the deceased. If you doubt that value think about what happens when there is a sudden, unexpected death. Body recovery is high on everyone’s list. Seeing is believing. Some family members may find an opportunity to see the deceased helpful. Some, like the woman who wrote the opening quote, may be surprised at the comfort the opportunity to see the person they love at peace brings. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> The funeral director is there to guide you. Ask questions. How can we give my grandson an opportunity to see his grandfather? What if some family do not wish to see dad? Mom didn’t want an open casket but some of us would like an opportunity to see her one last time. What can we do? </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Funeral directors are always willing and able to allow for individual family differences. A daughter who prefers not to view the body and grandson who would very much appreciate an opportunity for a face to face farewell. One need not exclude the other. Funeral directors have solutions. When you meet with yours, be open. Share your family’s needs and ask questions. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Sun, 21 Jul 2024 18:52:34 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/should-we-have-an-open-casket thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/why-not-call-the-funeral-director A husband and father of four dies suddenly. He languishes in the morgue at the coroner’s office for weeks because no one knows what to do and no one is empowered to act. The only thing the kids and grandchildren can agree on is that their father did not want to spend a lot of money on a funeral. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> A husband and father of four dies suddenly. He languishes in the morgue at the coroner’s office for weeks because no one knows what to do and no one is empowered to act. The only thing the kids and grandchildren can agree on is that their father did not want to spend a lot of money on a funeral. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> It is just downright crazy the things folks will do to work around the funeral home when a family member dies. Let’s get real about the widespread and totally unreasonable fear of working with a funeral director. The origin of the fear is the belief that funerals cost too much. Let’s take a look at the reality.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Funeral directors are educated professionals. Like doctors and lawyers, they meet rigorous state requirements in order to be licensed to practice. Funeral directors do expect to be paid for the work they do. However, unlike doctors and lawyers, funeral directors do not typically charge for a consultation. Which means a family can talk with a director about options and cost before they make a commitment to actually have the funeral home provide services.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> A person should not expect this is something one should do on the fly over the phone. That is just unreasonable. You would not expect to call Macy’s and ask how much a pair of shoes will cost. Everyone knows it is not that simple. You are going to need to provide more information about the kind of shoe you need to get an accurate cost. In the same way there are literally hundreds of possible combinations of funeral services and products. The cost depends on what your family wants and needs. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> So instead, call the funeral home and ask for an appointment with a funeral director to learn about options for service and cost. When you sit down with the director you will be presented with a general price list. This list will detail all the services and costs. What could be more up front than that? What other professional group will provide you with that kind of information? </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Be prepared to share both your budget and what is important to your family. Please, do not let unreasonable fear keep you from getting the professional help your family needs when someone they love has died.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Sun, 07 Jul 2024 11:54:32 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/why-not-call-the-funeral-director thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/expressions-of-condolences Back in the day, before embalming was wide-spread, flowers surrounded the casket and perfumed the air. Today, it is no longer necessary to have flowers scent the air. And yet, there is something comforting about the presence of flowers at a funeral. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Back in the day, before embalming was wide-spread, flowers surrounded the casket and perfumed the air. Today, it is no longer necessary to have flowers scent the air. And yet, there is something comforting about the presence of flowers at a funeral. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Flowers are beautiful. What an amazing way nature has provided for life to go on. The flower is the promise of the future for a plant. Flowers are cheerful. They are calming. When we are the recipient of a floral bouquet or arrangement, we feel cared about, loved, and comforted. Flowers are visual. They are tangible. Family and friends can see the love that was directed at the person who has died. They can see the love that is directed at them in their time of sorrow. So, why not send flowers? Send them to the funeral home or to the home of family members. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> If flowers are not how you would like to show your condolences, florists can also offer non-floral expressions. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Many florists also offer a variety of statuary, memorial pieces such as crosses or even throw blankets. Call your local florists and let them assist you with the perfect item. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Another option is to direct the money people would spend on flowers to a charity or a cause that was important to the deceased. A contribution is a lovely gesture of remembrance. Cures can be found, treatment provided, lives saved or enhanced, through charitable contributions. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> If you are the family member deciding what to do - donations or flowers - there is no real right or wrong. Maybe you accept any form of condolences. Allow friends and family to express their feelings in a manner appropriate for them. Instead of using the language “in lieu of flowers” in the announcement just say, “Donations to __________ will be appreciated. Flowers or expressions of sympathy may be sent to            .” That way folks can decide on their own how they want to show respect and provide comfort. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> If you are going to a funeral and are undecided about sending flowers, a memorial item or a donation, do what feels good to you. If you think the family is likely to be overwhelmed with flowers you might pull together a group of folks, neighbors, co-workers, church friends, the bridge group, and send one floral arrangement or gift from all. If a charity has not been designated but you would prefer to contribute in remembrance of the deceased, contribute to a cause that is dear to you.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> There is no right or wrong, sending flowers or a contribution, let the family know they are loved and the person they loved and lost was important. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Mon, 24 Jun 2024 16:15:40 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/expressions-of-condolences thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/five-to-dos-when-you-hit-70 Life from age 70 to 75 is interesting. It might not be a mid-life crisis but nearly everyone finds it is a period of real-life adjustments. In moving from being a 69-year-old to 70-year-old it’s easy to say, so what? Going in, 70 might feel like the new 50. Especially if a person is healthy and active. But by 75 it usually dawns on people that 80 is not going to be the new 60! It’s time to get real and embrace and prepare for life moving forward. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Life from age 70 to 75 is interesting. It might not be a mid-life crisis but nearly everyone finds it is a period of real-life adjustments. In moving from being a 69-year-old to 70-year-old it’s easy to say, so what? Going in, 70 might feel like the new 50. Especially if a person is healthy and active. But by 75 it usually dawns on people that 80 is not going to be the new 60! It’s time to get real and embrace and prepare for life moving forward. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> There are both some big questions to ponder and some little things to do to make life going forward easier. In the big category, a couple might consider where they are living. A simple thing like not having a first-floor bedroom or bath can mean a stay in a rehabilitation facility if a hip or knee needs to be replaced. By the time one hits the 75 mark they know more than a few folks who are walking around with replacement parts.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Then there is the question of whether your home is even in the “right” location? Some people choose to leave friends and their current life in favor of moving closer to their children or family. There is no one “right” choice—however, considering the what ifs can help a person be sure they are settled in their own personal happy place. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Much easier, but not less important, is making sure that you have designated someone to make medical decisions on your behalf if you are no longer able to do so yourself. Most folks will choose their spouse. However, it is a good idea to be sure the individual one chooses understands your desires and has the emotional strength to carry out your wishes. In some cases, it may be kinder to designate an adult child to make decisions. Regardless of who you choose, making sure all family members know what you want to have happen and who you have designated to carry out your wishes, can save a lot of family heartache in the future. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Even easier, but still important, is taking a few steps in order to eliminate those little stressors that can ruin an entire day. Making a simple adjustment to your utilities, cable, or telephone can be a real challenge if you are not the person “of record” on the account. If the designated person has died it can get even more complicated.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Check to be sure both spouses have the authority to make changes to the account or service. Be sure the secret passwords and answers to security questions are known to both parties. Watch your “ands” and “ors”. “And” can mean you both have to be involved where “or” means either party can take action. “And” can mean you’ll need a death certificate where “or” can mean full speed ahead. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Finally, it really is time to consider the end. When your children, grandchildren, and friends come together to remember you, what will that gathering look and feel like? Who will be in charge? Who will be responsible for making and paying for the arrangements? This one is the easiest of them all—you simply call your funeral home and ask for a prearrangement appointment. It will take just a few hours to get all your questions answered and have a plan on file at the funeral home. Then you just go right along heading to 80, eating right, exercising, and seeing the world, because maybe 80 is the new 60? </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Sat, 08 Jun 2024 18:25:16 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/five-to-dos-when-you-hit-70 thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/how-often-do-i-need-to-change-the-furnace-filter When there is a breakup, illness, or death and the person in the household who took care of the household necessities is no longer available, it isn’t long before you know you need help. Finding someone to do these little jobs can be difficult. It’s a good idea to be prepared to learn how to do some things yourself. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> When there is a breakup, illness, or death and the person in the household who took care of the household necessities is no longer available, it isn’t long before you know you need help. Finding someone to do these little jobs can be difficult. It’s a good idea to be prepared to learn how to do some things yourself. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Most furnace filters will need to be changed every three months / four times a year. If you can see dust and dirt or can’t see the fabric pattern of the filter, it needs to be replaced. Keeping up with filter replacement is good for your furnace. It is also good for your health. Changing a filter is a pretty easy task to complete once you know where it goes and how it is inserted into your air handler. Buy a year’s supply of filters, mark your calendar to remind you when it’s time for a change and get someone to show you how it’s done. You want to be as independent as you can be, so take notes if you need to. Tape them to the furnace so you’ll be all set for the next filter change. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Often the “filter changer” was also in charge of auto maintenance so you may also need to know more about care of the car. For example, how often to you need to change the oil in the car? What about getting the car waxed? Some people like to use the dealership where the car was purchased for maintenance. Others are sure they can get it done at an independent garage for less money. Just be sure you are not being penny wise and pound foolish. You might start with the service provider your previous auto maintenance person used. If you have no idea, ask someone you trust.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Typically, oil changes take place based on miles driven and type of oil used. Some cars use synthetic oil which comes at a higher cost but requires changing far less frequently. Find your car’s owner’s manual (it’s usually in the glove box of the car) and read. In the upper left corner of the windshield you might find a sticker that tells you the date of the last change and the mileage when you will need your next change. If you drive very little and don’t hit your mileage, it is still best to keep the oil in your car fresh. Change the oil at least twice a year. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Now, about keeping up with the appearance of your car. It is also good for resale and the look of your car to keep it clean and waxed. Spend the dollars for a hand wax at least twice a year. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> If you are lucky, you’ll have a son or son-in-law or maybe even a helpful neighbor who will offer to help with your “manly” chores, but here’s an important tip: Plan your help and coordinate the chores. Ask for help getting the gutters cleaned, furnace filters changed, and light bulbs in the fan all taken care of during the same visit. You don’t want to be that person who is always calling for help. Also, don’t forget to reward your handy person. A gift card for your handyman and his wife to go out to dinner will keep everyone smiling. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 09 May 2024 07:00:00 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/how-often-do-i-need-to-change-the-furnace-filter thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/planning-for-cremation Start with the end. Where will your cremated remains “rest”? There are three general choices and a variety of options within each choice. On average, a cremated human body will be reduced to about five pounds of coarse “ash”. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> 1.   Choose a cremation provider </span> </p> <p> <span> 2.   Decide on a “closing” ceremony </span> </p> <p> <span> 3.   Choose a final resting place </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Start with the end. Where will your cremated remains “rest”? There are three general choices and a variety of options within each choice. On average, a cremated human body will be reduced to about five pounds of coarse “ash”.  </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Ashes can be kept by a family member </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Buried or permanently kept in a columbarium niche </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Scattered </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Very few people really “don’t have anybody”. Friends are the family we choose and then there is the family. Most of us are deeply connected to at least one other human being. These are the people who need some time to be with others to begin to process their loss of you.  </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     A funeral service (with or without a religious service) can be held before the cremation takes place </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     A memorial service occurs after the cremation takes place. It may or may not include a religious service. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Either a funeral or a memorial service can be formal, informal, or very informal. Either can be held pretty much anywhere. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Funeral homes either provide cremation at the funeral home or coordinate transportation from the place of death to the cremation facility. They can also help you choose a final resting option and coordinate the closing ceremony. Most funeral homes have a person on staff who will meet with you, answer all your questions, and help determine which options work best for you and the people who are important to you. Amazingly enough this is a free service. A cremation society or direct cremation provider will take care of the cremation. </span> </p> <p> <span> You can: </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Take advantage of your local funeral home’s planning service (no charge) </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Sign up for a cremation society and leave everything else to those who love you. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 25 Apr 2024 07:03:15 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/planning-for-cremation thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/routine-is-a-life-saver In times of stress, loss, and change, the most important coping skill is taking control of your time. You must establish a routine. Picture a fish out of water. That’s how a person feels in the midst of grief, loss, or any major life change. Without a plan they flip, flop, and ultimately flounder. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> In times of stress routine is a life saver. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> In times of stress, loss, and change, the most important coping skill is taking control of your time. You must establish a routine. Picture a fish out of water. That’s how a person feels in the midst of grief, loss, or any major life change. Without a plan they flip, flop, and ultimately flounder. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Regular sleep patterns are the foundation of routine. Establishing regular sleep wake cycle is easier said than done since we tend to be more restless sleepers when we are stressed. So, here are a few tips. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> 1.   Turn off electronics one hour before bedtime. Experts tell us the blue light from electronics is a sleep disrupter. </span> </p> <p> <span> 2.   Avoid alcohol and caffeine before bedtime. </span> </p> <p> <span> 3.   A recommended bedtime snack would be a bowl of oats with milk and banana. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Even if you are waking in the night and having a problem getting back to sleep, still get out of bed at your predetermined time in the morning. If you need a nap during the day make it a 20-minute power nap. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Eat your meals at regular times. Regular sleep and eating times help the body establish its circadian rhythm. Take control. Plan your dinner for the evening in the morning and your breakfast for the next day in the evening before you go to bed. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Plan some physical exercise into your day. Going to the gym may be too daunting but anyone can take a walk, or take the stairs, or park the car in the third row instead of the first row at the supermarket. Just make moving a priority. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Make a list of three things you’ll do tomorrow before you go to bed and then do them. Checking off your list helps provide the feeling of accomplishment. Make your bed first thing when you wake-up. Start the day the way the Marines do with a job well done. Establish a regular day for changing the bed, doing laundry, and performing your cleaning chores.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Connect with people. Start or join a book club. Have lunch once a week or month with the guys or girls. Become active in your church or volunteer to tutor children.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Repetition is what establishes regular habits. You’ll be tempted to abandon your new routine but stick with it. If you fail at first start over and try again.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 25 Apr 2024 06:57:54 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/routine-is-a-life-saver thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-to-expect-when-your-catholic-friend-dies Roman Catholic refers to a religious body that acknowledges the pope as its authority and the Vatican as the center of ecclesiastical unity. The Catholic Church’s position on death is as follows … From the General Introduction of the Order of Christian Funerals: “The Church intercedes on behalf of the deceased because of its confident belief that death is not the end… The Church also ministers to the sorrowing and consoles them in the funeral rites with the comforting word of God and sacrament of the eucharist.” <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Roman Catholic refers to a religious body that acknowledges the pope as its authority and the Vatican as the center of ecclesiastical unity. The Catholic Church’s position on death is as follows … From the General Introduction of the Order of Christian Funerals: “The Church intercedes on behalf of the deceased because of its confident belief that death is not the end… The Church also ministers to the sorrowing and consoles them in the funeral rites with the comforting word of God and sacrament of the eucharist.” </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Funeral services for a Catholic, in their entirety, will have three parts. Today it is not uncommon for one or more parts to be omitted or abbreviated. Still, the Church recommends the funeral contain all three parts since each has a special function or purpose. The parts include: </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> 1.   The Vigil or Wake: This is an opportunity for family, community, and friends to gather, pray, and offer condolences to the family of the deceased. It is a time to remember the life of the deceased. The vigil… </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Usually takes place at the funeral home the evening before the service or morning before the service at the church. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     The body is usually present. The casket may or may not be open. Mourners will approach the casket and say a silent prayer. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Eulogies, pictures, secular music, and food may be a part of this service. What is included varies depending on the ethnicity of the family and their traditions. This is a time for focusing on the life of the deceased. Having the Vigil in the funeralhome almost always allows for a greater flexibility when it comes to eulogies, pictures, secular music and food as many churches do not have the same </span> </p> <p> <span> capabilities as funeral homes, and many will have policies limiting activities, especially if the vigil were to take place in their worship space. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     A priest or deacon may lead those gathered in a brief prayer service. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> 2.   The Funeral Liturgy: This is the liturgical celebration of the community for the deceased. A Mass is encouraged. The funeral liturgy is an act of worship. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     The priest, followed by the casket and then the family, will process into the church. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Attendees who are not Catholic may stand, sit, and kneel along with Catholics during the service/Mass. Guests who are not comfortable with kneeling may sit during the entire service. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     No special head covering is required for women or men. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Prayers will be read, and communion will be distributed. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Only Catholic attendees may receive communion. This is out of respect for what Catholics believe communion is and out of respect for the fact that non-Catholics do not share the same belief. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Eulogies and secular music will not be a part of this service. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> 3.   The Interment: Funeral guests are invited to attend the interment. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Prayers will be led by the priest or deacon. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Military rites may be included if applicable. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     The grave will be closed after participants leave the cemetery. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     A wake or luncheon may follow the interment and can be held at the funeral home, the church hall, or a restaurant. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> When a Catholic dies it is appropriate to: </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Telephone or stop by to offer condolences. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Send flowers to the funeral home or to the home of close family members. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     To bring food to the family. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     To make a contribution to charities in honor of the deceased. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Fri, 12 Apr 2024 18:28:11 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-to-expect-when-your-catholic-friend-dies thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/after-the-funeralwhat-to-look-forward-to Sometimes the future feels bleak. For those struggling with a recent death in their family or just beaten down by the news, it can be difficult to look forward, to anticipate, to feel hopeful. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Sometimes the future feels bleak. For those struggling with a recent death in their family or just beaten down by the news, it can be difficult to look forward, to anticipate, to feel hopeful.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Most of us are removed from the rituals of spring. The tilling of the earth, getting our hands in the compost, planting seeds, all simple pursuits that are, by their nature, full of hope. Even if you are living in a community that takes care of your landscape, or a group living arrangement or even in a big city high rise it is really not that hard to grow something. Something that you can nurture, and watch grow - a little something to look forward to. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Grow Something to Eat! </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     A basil plant from the grocery store just needs a sunny window and water. A little bit of your own home-grown basil in your tomato soup, or your scrambled eggs, or a salad will make you smile. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Have a little more room? Go for a tomato plant. It’ll need a little more attention and space. You’ll need to rotate the pot, water, and support the branches but nothing tastes like a vine ripened home-grown tomato. As you watch it go from bloom to fruit the anticipation will build. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Grow Something to Attract the B’s … Birds, Bees, &amp; Butterflies </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Milk weed, bee balm, cone flowers… The list is long. You are sure to find something that works in your spot be it little or large. Use plants or seeds that are not treated with pest controls and if you have the space go for a little variety that will extend your blooming season. The B’s need you and nothing lifts the spirits like being needed! They are also entertaining/fun to watch and something to look forward to. Try it, you’ll see. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Feed the Hummingbirds </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Hummingbirds are amazing! Once they know you have a feeder, they will show up every morning and evening. You’ll have fun watching them “protect” their feeder. It’s like snoopy and the red baron the way they zoom and dive on each other. Much better than the 24-hour news channel. All you need is a simple feeder. Some feeders attach to the outside of your window with suction cups. The food is simple to make. Just one-part sugar to four parts of water, warm it up in the microwave or stove top just to dissolve the sugar. Then cool and store in the fridge. You’ll be surprised how much they eat! Best part is once they get used to seeing you at the window, they’ll make your day.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 04 Jan 2024 21:02:55 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/after-the-funeralwhat-to-look-forward-to thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/do-i-need-a-final-resting-place Let’s face it everyone will have one, a final resting place that is. The questions you should be asking are where is it? Can it be found in the future should a family member want to do so? Is the final resting place protected? Is it hallowed ground? Will the place endure? <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Let’s face it everyone will have one, a final resting place that is. The questions you should be asking are where is it? Can it be found in the future should a family member want to do so? Is the final resting place protected? Is it hallowed ground? Will the place endure? </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Most of us know exactly where our great grandparents are “resting.” It’s in a cemetery somewhere. Even when the grave is half a continent away and we never get there to put flowers on the grave, we know where they are. Will our grandchildren know where we rest? </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> For those who would like to be buried in a cemetery </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> ·     Fear not. There are spaces available check with your funeral director for advice about where to look. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Worried about the environment? Again, ask your funeral director about green and greenish burial options.  </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Concerned about cost? Consider the resale market. Many family’s plans change. Families resell cemetery plots they will not use at a lower cost. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> For those who plan to donate their body to science </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Know that in most cases the cremated remains will be returned to the family at some point and will require a plan for the final resting place. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Always have a back-up plan just in case the body is not accepted for donation. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Talk to your funeral director about how to put together a memorial service to take place right after death since it may be months or even years before ashes are returned to the family. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> For those who will be cremated </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Consider your many options carefully. You may want to discuss them with your funeral director. There may be final resting options you are not aware of. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     If you plan to scatter ashes, give thought to the location and how family members will be impacted if the golf course is sold and turned into a go-kart track? Keep in mind that if you belong to a faith such as Catholicism, the Church does not permit scattering and would instead advocate for a permanent final resting place. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Talk to your funeral director about keepsakes such as paperweights that incorporate some of the ashes or jewelry that can hold a small amount of cremated remains. Again, if you belong to the Catholic faith, this is not permitted. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Be aware that final resting place means it must endure for generations to come. Will your children’s children still want your urn in their home?  </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Know having a viable plan for the final resting place is the most often overlooked step for those who cremate. Not addressing this issue creates a burden for someone in the family as time passes. Talk to your funeral director. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 04 Jan 2024 21:01:14 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/do-i-need-a-final-resting-place thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/celebrity-funerals-and-ceremonies On February 24th, twenty thousand mourners filled downtown Los Angeles' Staples Center — “the house that Kobe built” — to celebrate the lives of the 41-year-old Lakers star and his 13-year-old daughter, who were killed alongside seven others in the crash in Calabasas. With tears streaming down his face, Michael Jorden spoke about his “big brother” mentoring relationship with Kobe. Beyoncè sang KO, one of Kobe’s favorites, and his wife Vanessa bravely spoke about her daughter, her husband, and her loss. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> On February 24 </span> ^th <span> , twenty thousand mourners filled downtown Los Angeles' Staples Center — “the house that Kobe built” — to celebrate the lives of the 41-year-old Lakers star and his 13-year-old daughter, who were killed alongside seven others in the crash in Calabasas. With tears streaming down his face, Michael Jorden spoke about his “big brother” mentoring relationship with Kobe. Beyoncè sang KO, one of Kobe’s favorites, and his wife Vanessa bravely spoke about her daughter, her husband, and her loss. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Kobe’s life is not the first to be celebrated in a large public way. Princess Diana, Michael Jackson, and John McCain all had funeral services that were shared with large groups of their fans or followers. These very large and very public funerals acknowledge the family’s loss is our loss too. They help the community heal. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> We may not have ever had a face to face conversation or sat down to break bread with any of these people, but we loved them. Kobe was a master of his game and it was pure joy to watch him play. He went well beyond just playing basketball and shared his love of the game and impact it had on his life with a whole new generation in his books and his movie. He was larger than life.  </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> His wife and family’s kindness in sharing their celebration of his life, and that of his daughter, with his fans is beautiful. It will help all of us heal. We can only hope knowing this, we were there witnessing tributes to a man who was admired, respected, and loved by so many. Hopefully the healing began then. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 04 Jan 2024 20:59:22 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/celebrity-funerals-and-ceremonies thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/thinking-no-funeral-think-again Maybe you’ve said it, or thought it? “I don’t need a funeral. You can just bury me in the backyard”. That’s the male version of negating the need for a funeral. But the sentiment is not unique to men. Women just say it differently. “I don’t want you to make a fuss. I don’t need a funeral.” These folks are right. The person who died doesn’t need a funeral. They just need a legal, respectful disposal of their body. It’s the people who are left to do the work of grieving that need the support and community from a funeral. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Maybe you’ve said it, or thought it? “I don’t need a funeral. You can just bury me in the backyard”. That’s the male version of negating the need for a funeral. But the sentiment is not unique to men. Women just say it differently. “I don’t want you to make a fuss. I don’t need a funeral.” These folks are right. The person who died doesn’t need a funeral. They just need a legal, respectful disposal of their body. It’s the people who are left to do the work of grieving that need the support and community from a funeral. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Princess Diana, Michael Jackson, Aretha Franklin, John McCain, and most recently Kobe Bryant, didn’t need the memorials, teddy bears, or flowers. We needed them. We need to be a part of acknowledging the loss. We find comfort in being able to be a part of the service that honors their lives even when our part is just being an observer via television. We are comforted, in some measure, just by being able to observe. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> It is human nature to seek community in times of trouble and in times of joy. People are pack animals. We don’t live in isolation. We touch the lives of others. We celebrate birth with family and friends. We celebrate the coming together of two people in marriage as a group. We hold each other’s hand in times of tragedy. When we express our caring feelings, it is not weakness. It’s our strength. We are human beings, we care. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Having the opportunity to express our feelings is not expected to “cure” our grief. Coming together does not provide closure. The door never really closes on the love one human being has for another. Coming together, expressing our feelings in the presence of our community, are steps in the healing process. Being able to express our feelings in a safe, accepting environment provides some measure of healing. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Grief in the early days is raw. As time passes it softens. The hard edges become rounded and we begin to find the joy we had with the one we loved in our memories. Grief is hard work. It’s a journey. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Why should anyone have to begin this journey alone? </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 04 Jan 2024 20:30:41 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/thinking-no-funeral-think-again thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/jewish-funeral-traditions As we begin to learn more about religious practices outside of our own, it is sometimes surprising to find how much different faiths have in common. Mourners of all faiths understand the power of grief and the comfort of community. So, what happens when a person of the Jewish faith dies, and how can a person outside that faith support a friend or neighbor who is grieving? <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> As we begin to learn more about religious practices outside of our own, it is sometimes surprising to find how much different faiths have in common. Mourners of all faiths understand the power of grief and the comfort of community. So, what happens when a person of the Jewish faith dies, and how can a person outside that faith support a friend or neighbor who is grieving? </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> In order to support a person of the Jewish faith when they have experienced a loss, one must learn about the Kaddish and sitting Shiva. According to Jewish Law anyone who has lost a parent, sibling, child, or spouse recites Kaddish every day beginning with the funeral and continuing for thirty days after the death. The Mourners Kaddish is a prayer, a profession of faith. The prayer is a listing of God’s holy attributes. Jewish law requires that sanctification of God’s name and requires ten voices … a minyan. This requirement of a minyan assures that the mourner is not alone. For thirty days the Mourners Kaddish is recited in the presence of at least ten people. According to Anita Diamant in her book Saying Kaddish… “The power of Kaddish comes, in large measure, from the consolations of being in a group that recognizes and embraces the bereaved”. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> The Hebrew word for funeral is Levayah, which means “accompanying”. There is no religious requirement for clergy to be present at a Jewish funeral. The responsibility is on the family. The service does not address the ideas of heaven, redemption or reunion, the focus is on the life of the deceased. The service is simple. Here are no flowers or music, the casket is lowered and all in attendance participate in covering the coffin. Once the casket is lowered the business of caring for the dead is ended. The focus now shifts to mourning and supporting the family in their grief. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> Shiva or “sitting Shiva” is a time for the bereaved. Traditionally Shiva lasts for seven days, although in modern times that is sometimes abbreviated to three days. It is a time to “sit” with grief. During Shiva the bereaved do not work or play. No calling into the office, no cooking, no dishes, no television or video games. Shiva is a time to do grief work. It is a time to explore emotions and feelings, to cry and to laugh. It is a time to share memories, tell stories, and receive consolation. </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> When a Jewish person dies: </span> </p> <p> <span>   </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Expect the service to take place the day after the death. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     The service will be held either at a funeral home or a synagogue/temple </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     There will never be an open casket </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     The service will be led by a rabbi </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     The rabbi may deliver the eulogy or eulogies may be delivered by friends or family </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Close friends and family will attend the interment. All who attend the interment will participate in filling the grave. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     As the closest members of the family leave the gravesite, they pass between two rows of relatives and friends. </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Do telephone or visit the bereaved </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Do bring food, to be on the safe side, bring kosher food </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Do not send flowers </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     Do make a contribution to a favorite charity in honor of the deceased </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     When calling on family members who are sitting Shiva expect to stay for 20 to 30 minutes. The Mourners Kaddish will be recited twice a day, morning and evening. A guest should stand when the mourners stand and read along with the prayer in English </span> </p> <p> <span> ·     The one-year anniversary of the death is marked with a ceremony, yahrzeit. This ceremony is by invitation only and usually involves a service at the synagogue and “unveiling” of the tombstone at the cemetery. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 04 Jan 2024 20:29:17 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/jewish-funeral-traditions thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-is-a-celebration-of-life Do you have to be rich or famous to have a celebration of life? <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> Do you have to be rich or famous to have a celebration of life? </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> The celebration of life is the personal or individual aspect of a funeral service. It is about the person who died. It is about their relationships, their loves, their passions, their accomplishments, their beliefs, their talents. It is about what and who they cared about as they lived their own unique life. How did they make a difference?  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> A person does not have to be rich, or famous, or even publicly successful to have had a life that can be celebrated. Maybe they were simply a dependable friend, or a loving parent, a great teacher, or just fun to be around. Isn’t that enough reason to celebrate?  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> A celebration of life can be compared to a couple writing all or part of their own vows for a wedding ceremony. It is the part of the service that is about the person. It can be the cookies they baked, the children they raised, the oceans they sailed, the buildings they built. What made them who they are and different from the person who was in this funeral home last week? Why will they be missed? </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Believe it or not, every person is unique. We all have a unique fingerprint, ear shape, and “thermal plume”. Our own little cloud formed of a combination of 44 compounds given off by our bodies as we strut our stuff around town. We are unique. That is what a celebration of life is all about, who we were and how we touched others as we lived our life. Anyone can have a Celebration of Life. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> A Life Celebration is not an either-or proposition as in “should we have a religious funeral or a Life Celebration”. It is an and also proposition. You can have both. Especially when a person has a strong belief system that is just part of who they were. Talk to your funeral director. He or she can help you both honor faith and celebrate life.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 04 Jan 2024 20:27:42 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-is-a-celebration-of-life thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/funerals-are-for These days we’re hearing a lot about life celebrations. A funeral is a ceremony for someone who has died and the survivors. A celebration of life is a funeral with a celebratory feel and it may or may not have a faith-based component. Celebrating the life of the accomplished, the kind, and the generous feels natural. It feels like something we should do. <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <span> These days we’re hearing a lot about life celebrations. A funeral is a ceremony for someone who has died and the survivors. A celebration of life is a funeral with a celebratory feel and it may or may not have a faith-based component. Celebrating the life of the accomplished, the kind, and the generous feels natural. It feels like something we should do. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> On the other hand, what do we do about the “broken” people? The bullies, the addicted, the angry, or those who just never got it all together. What do we do when they die? Most of us have one or more imperfect people in our immediate circle.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> The loss of one of these folks is real and it hurts. Because they are gone, our lives will not be the same. We may be relieved of a burden, but we are also without hope. The hope that we will get a hug or a kind word is gone. The hope that a child will get sober and realize the potential you knew was there is gone. The hope that we will hear “I’m sorry” or understand the reason behind the addiction, the anger, or the hatred is now gone. It’s painful. Someone we love has died. Having a funeral will help. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> It can be hard to know just what to do when “celebration” doesn’t feel right. This may be especially true if a faith-based service does not feel like the right fit. Ask your funeral director for help. There are funeral celebrants who are not attached to a church who can help you find the right fit. Your funeral director can help you find the right person.  </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <span> Funerals are always for the survivors. Regardless of how the deceased spent their time on this earth, survivors need to gather with each other and their friends. Everyone needs to share in a safe place. All survivors grieve. We all need the opportunity to begin our grief journey in a healthy way. A funeral, a ceremony for someone who has died, is the beginning of that journey. </span> </p> <p> <br/> </p> <p> <a href="https://www.ueckerwitt.com/" target="_blank"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 04 Jan 2024 20:22:51 GMT lee@ueckerwitt.com (Lee Uecker) https://www.ueckerwitt.com/funerals-are-for thumbnail https://www.ueckerwitt.com/resources/our-blog/cooking-for-one-the-perfect-egg <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, standing in the checkout line at the local market, a woman looked up and saw a man gazing longingly at her cart which was full of food.  As he looked at the food, he said, “I should learn to cook.” As the conversation progressed, he shared that his wife had died awhile back, and he was still eating frozen dinners. He should learn to cook. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> As it turns out, cooking for one is one of the most difficult hurdles a person faces when they lose their life partner. The first step is deciding to cook. Change the way you view cooking. Try looking at making food for yourself as an opportunity, rather than a chore. Take on the challenge of making simple food perfectly. Try to see something positive in the experience. One woman said she can eat when she wants and what she wants. That is her positive. She turns on the TV for company. You deserve to eat well. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Mastering the egg is a great place to begin. A lot can be done with an egg. Eggs can be stored in the refrigerator for weeks and can be used for any meal. Start with a few egg basics. Do cook your eggs gently. Lower the heat and cook them for a little longer time.  When cracking an egg, tap it on a flat surface like the kitchen counter rather than the edge of a bowl or pan.  This will prevent getting eggshells in your dish. To prevent rubbery egg whites always wait to salt your eggs until after the white is set. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Scrambled eggs are not just for breakfast. They can also be brunch, lunch, or even supper. To make a lovely scrambled egg the most important thing is to get air into the egg mixture. That is what makes them light and fluffy. So, crack a couple of eggs into the bowl add a tablespoon of milk, cream, half and half, sour cream, crème fraiche or even coconut cream. Then use a whisk or a fork to whip the eggs. Elbow up! It is all in the wrist, get some air in those eggs. Melt two tablespoons of fat such as butter or margarine, oil, or spray the pan with a cooking spray. Add the eggs to the fat and stir gently. Remember, medium heat not hot. Cook until they are the way you like them - soft and a little runny or dry. Just before plating your eggs, sprinkle with salt and pepper to your taste. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Hard-boiled eggs have a lot of uses. They can be added to a salad, or chopped with a little celery, onion, mayo and mustard to make an egg salad sandwich. Hard boiled eggs are also a good snack. A properly made hard-boiled egg will have a solid but moist yolk.  Green rings around the outside of the yolk are an indication of over cooking. Place cool eggs in the bottom of a saucepan cover with cool water and bring to a boil then turn the heat down and simmer the eggs for seven to eight minutes. Remove the eggs from the pan and put them in a bowl of ice water. Once they are cool, crack the egg on the bottom (not the side) and peel under cold running water. Older eggs will peel the easiest. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Making a Frittata is easy and provides a hearty supper. A frittata is a good way to use leftovers. Served with a small salad or rolls, it makes a complete dinner. Prepare an oven proof skillet and eggs as for scrambled eggs. Before you add the eggs to your skillet, sauté your vegetable and or meats in the pan. Some good combinations include broccoli, potato, and ham or spinach, red onion &amp; bacon. Really, just use what you like and have on hand or left over. Once your veggie mixture is cooked, pour in your eggs and add a handful of the cheese of your choice. You can even top the egg mixture with tomato slices if you are a fan of the tomato. Pop the mixture into a 375-degree oven and bake until puffed and set. Cut and serve. Yum, look what you made! </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Sun, 11 Dec 2022 05:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/resources/our-blog/cooking-for-one-the-perfect-egg thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/resources/our-blog/how-can-we-use-pictures-at-a-funeral Saying good-bye to someone you love is hard. Using pictures at the funeral of the person who died is a wonderful way to help tell a life story. There are a variety of ways to use photos. Using photos that span the entire life of a person—Mom as a little girl on the farm, as a young bride, a mother, at work, and as a grandmother—just brings it all back. Pictures trigger memories and that is one of the important functions of a funeral. You want to remember the life, not just the illness or accident that ended the life. A lot of pictures may not be required to tell the story. A few pictures can be enlarged and displayed around the room. If you have a lot of pictures that your family wants to use, they can be displayed in photo frames or albums. Many funeral homes are equipped with electronics that make it possible to show photos on large screens or televisions. These video tributes can be woven into the format of the service or stand on their own for people to view at will. Ask your funeral director for ideas and how they can help you achieve your goals. Taking the time to come together and go through the family photos can be a healing process on its own. As you are putting together the photos be certain the entire family is well-represented. Everyone will enjoy seeing themselves with the family member who passed. Remember: funeral directors are helpful people. They want your family to have a good experience. Still, they may not be aware that you have an amateur film producer in the family. Be sure to share the talents that your family has at their disposal as well as your family’s vision for the use of pictures at the funeral. A good picture is worth a thousand words. By all means, use those words and bring out those pictures for the funeral. https://www.ueckerwitt.com <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Saying good-bye to someone you love is hard. Using pictures at the funeral of the person who died is a wonderful way to help tell a life story. There are a variety of ways to use photos. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Using photos that span the entire life of a person—Mom as a little girl on the farm, as a young bride, a mother, at work, and as a grandmother—just brings it all back. Pictures trigger memories and that is one of the important functions of a funeral. You want to remember the life, not just the illness or accident that ended the life. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> A lot of pictures may not be required to tell the story. A few pictures can be enlarged and displayed around the room. If you have a lot of pictures that your family wants to use, they can be displayed in photo frames or albums. Many funeral homes are equipped with electronics that make it possible to show photos on large screens or televisions. These video tributes can be woven into the format of the service or stand on their own for people to view at will. Ask your funeral director for ideas and how they can help you achieve your goals. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Taking the time to come together and go through the family photos can be a healing process on its own. As you are putting together the photos be certain the entire family is well-represented. Everyone will enjoy seeing themselves with the family member who passed. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Remember: funeral directors are helpful people. They want your family to have a good experience. Still, they may not be aware that you have an amateur film producer in the family. Be sure to share the talents that your family has at their disposal as well as your family’s vision for the use of pictures at the funeral. A good picture is worth a thousand words. By all means, use those words and bring out those pictures for the funeral. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> https://www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Sun, 11 Dec 2022 05:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/resources/our-blog/how-can-we-use-pictures-at-a-funeral Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/ageassociated-financial-vulnerability <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Read this blog even though you don’t want to. Especially if you or your parent is over 65 or living alone. Age Associated Financial Vulnerability is a real thing and it affects intelligent, independent people. The <a href="https://www.consumerfinance.gov/"> Consumer Financial Protection Bureau </a> puts the cost of elder financial exploitation as high as $36 billion a year. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you are or you know anyone over 65 you know about the exploitation part. Those calls that come many, many times a day and at increasingly unorthodox hours of the day.  Why are older Americans targeted? Because they hold a large percentage of the wealth. Some estimates have the over age 50 population holding as high as 83% of America’s wealth. And as we age, we become more vulnerable. It’s as simple as that. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you think you are not a likely candidate for fraud, think again. Victims are not who you think they are. They are high functioning seniors and often test as “normal “on cognitive function assessments. It’s complicated. You can check out the report <em> Brains and Losses </em> at <a href="https://www.marketplace.org/"> marketplace.org </a> . It has to do with changes in our brains as we age. How we process information when we are in emotional states. That includes being angry (at the caller), being scared or just being a nice person. Scammers know how to exploit our emotions. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Bottom line, living alone increases susceptibility because when you are alone you don’t have that close contact to hash over a call or contact you receive. Prevention is the key. If you are living alone, open up to someone you trust. If you have a parent or relative living alone check in on them regularly. Don’t judge. Make yourself available. Ask your parent what they know about scams. Teach your parent how to screen calls. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Being susceptible <u> does not </u> mean an older person needs to go to a nursing home or lose independence. It does mean both the aging and those who love an older person need to be on their toes, maintain close contact, and have open conversations. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Some ideas about setting hard and fast lines of defense will follow in a later blog at this site. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/ageassociated-financial-vulnerability General thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/too-little-too-late---a-memorial-gone-wrong <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Yesterday, Jane was on duty as a tour guide at a lovely little pre-revolutionary war church in rural Virginia. It was late in the afternoon when a youngish woman wearing shorts and a Cubs ball hat stepped into the visitor’s center looking lost. Thinking that she might need directions, Jane quietly approached to offer her assistance. The seemingly lost young lady said she just wanted to go in the church. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Since visitors were not allowed in the church without a docent, Jane began to accompany her guest to her destination. Striking up a conversation, Jane quickly discovered there was a story behind the sad eyes of her visitor. She revealed her name was Stella and she was here from Chicago. The pair talked a bit and Jane started to tell her about the church. As they walked and talked, Jane casually asked, “What brings you to this part of Virginia?”  Stella spoke in a soft tone revealing she was here for a “sort of” memorial service for her mother. The pain was obvious on her face with her lips quivering and eyes glistening with small pools of tears. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> They walked into the church and sat in one of the high back pews carved from pine when George Washington was just three years old. The sun was shining through the wavy glass windows. Jane took Stella’s hands and asked her, “Would you like to tell me a little bit about your mother?” The floodgates opened. She talked for an hour. She told the story that was her Mom. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Stella was the single daughter. She had been the caregiver for her mother who died ten months ago. Her brother lived abroad and her sister and her family traveled frequently. Because it was hard to get them together, they all decided to forgo a funeral service and ship Mom’s cremated remains to Virginia for burial. It seemed, at the time, to make more sense to get together later. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> They agreed on June for the get together since that’s when their family typically came to visit mom and dad in this part of Virginia. They all stayed at a local inn and had dinner at their parent’s favorite restaurant. It was nice, but something was missing. There was no service. No words were spoken for Stella’s mother. It wasn’t enough for her. It was too little and too late. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It was obvious to Jane that Stella was distraught. There had been no closure. Jane’s heart broke for her. Still, she couldn’t help but wonder why. Why was there no service? Even something small, private and simple would have been better than nothing. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Jane knew some people had a fear of planning a service. They don’t know how to or what to plan. They are at a loss. They should have they called the local funeral home for help. The funeral director could have helped them find someone to pull together a brief ceremony at the graveside or in the chapel. There could have even been a service in the lovely little church where Stella sat and cried with a stranger. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/too-little-too-late---a-memorial-gone-wrong Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/how-to-dress-for-a-funeral First, understand that what you wear to the funeral is much less important than actually going to the funeral or gathering.  Don’t underestimate the value of your presence. Your kind words, shared stories, or even just a hug will mean a great deal to friends and family when there has been a death. Don’t let not having a pair of dress shoes keep you from offering your support. That being said, what you wear depends on several different factors. The first thing to consider is who died. If your 80-year-old grandfather passed, the funeral is likely to be more traditional. His older friends will attend, so you will want to be more conservative. A pair of slacks and a collared shirt for men and boys will do nicely. If you own a sport coat, by all means wear it. A tie with or without the jacket would be a nice, but not a required, addition. For the ladies and girls, dress slacks and a nice sweater or blouse will serve the purpose. A dress or skirt would also be lovely. Do pay attention to necklines and length of the skirt. When the funeral is for a younger person or will not be faith based, it may be more informal. A celebration of life is typically more relaxed and may even have a theme that the family will ask attendees to support.  So if you’re asked to wear golf attire to the funeral of an avid golfer, don’t be surprised. Like the dress code for most events today, what we wear to a funeral has relaxed. Black is no longer required, but neat, clean, and subdued are always in good taste. A funeral is not a place to stand out or be the center of attention. As you survey your wardrobe, think in terms of what you would wear to an important job interview or something you would want to wear to apply in person for a bank loan. www.ueckerwitt.com <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> First, understand that what you wear to the funeral is <em> much </em> less important than actually going to the funeral or gathering.  Don’t underestimate the value of your presence. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Your kind words, shared stories, or even just a hug will mean a great deal to friends and family when there has been a death. Don’t let not having a pair of dress shoes keep you from offering your support. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> That being said, what you wear depends on several different factors. The first thing to consider is who died. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If your 80-year-old grandfather passed, the funeral is likely to be more traditional. His older friends will attend, so you will want to be more conservative. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> A pair of slacks and a collared shirt for men and boys will do nicely. If you own a sport coat, by all means wear it. A tie with or without the jacket would be a nice, but not a required, addition. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> For the ladies and girls, dress slacks and a nice sweater or blouse will serve the purpose. A dress or skirt would also be lovely. Do pay attention to necklines and length of the skirt. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> When the funeral is for a younger person or will not be faith based, it may be more informal. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> A celebration of life is typically more relaxed and may even have a theme that the family will ask attendees to support.  So if you’re asked to wear golf attire to the funeral of an avid golfer, don’t be surprised. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Like the dress code for most events today, what we wear to a funeral has relaxed. Black is no longer required, but neat, clean, and subdued are always in good taste. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> A funeral is not a place to stand out or be the center of attention. As you survey your wardrobe, think in terms of what you would wear to an important job interview or something you would want to wear to apply in person for a bank loan. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/how-to-dress-for-a-funeral Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-to-look-for-when-you-are-buying-final-expense-insurance <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Cost is important, but it’s not the whole story. Take a look at the premium, the amount you will pay each month, how long will you pay that amount? It is not uncommon to pay until you are 100 or even older. Will you be able to pay that amount each month as you age? What if you live to be 100? Will the benefit stay in place? How much will you have paid in by that time? It’s not unheard of for people to end up paying more than they will receive in death benefits. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Look at the coverage. How much will be paid on your death? Most policies are for a fixed amount your family will receive when you die. This is the death benefit. How soon will you be covered for the full amount? Sometimes you will need to make payments for as long as two years before you would be eligible for the full death benefit. Often the death benefit stays the same over the course of your lifetime. So, as you age and the price of funerals increases, your policy is at risk of falling short and not providing your family with enough to cover the cost of your funeral. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Before you sign anything, call your local funeral home. Ask for an appointment with the funeral professional who takes care of <em> advance funeral planning. </em> When you meet with this individual be straight forward. Share your financial situation. See what the funeral home has to offer. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Most of the time the funeral home’s funding program is a little more per month but you make payments for a much shorter period of time. So, you pay much less in the long run. If you are in good health you will most likely be covered as soon as the policy is issued. Some funeral homes even offer a cost guarantee which means you have no worries about the rising cost of funerals. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It’s always worth the extra time to be sure you are getting the best final expense coverage you can afford. The one that will really be there for your family when it’s needed. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="http://www.ueckerwitt.com"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-to-look-for-when-you-are-buying-final-expense-insurance Pre-Planning thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/funerals-are-for-saints-and-sinners <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> These days we’re hearing a lot about life celebrations. A funeral is a ceremony for someone who has died and the survivors. A celebration of life is a funeral with a celebratory feel and it may or may not have a faith-based component. Celebrating the life of the accomplished, the kind, and the generous feels natural. It feels like something we should do. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> On the other hand, what do we do about the “broken” people? The bullies, the addicted, the angry, or those who just never got it all together. What do we do when they die? Most of us have one or more imperfect people in our immediate circle. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The loss of one of these folks is real and it hurts. Because they are gone, our lives will not be the same. We may be relieved of a burden, but we are also without hope. The hope that we will get a hug or a kind word is gone. The hope that a child will get sober and realize the potential you knew was there is gone. The hope that we will hear “I’m sorry” or understand the reason behind the addiction, the anger, or the hatred is now gone. It’s painful. Someone we love has died. Having a funeral will help. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It can be hard to know just what to do when “celebration” doesn’t feel right. This may be especially true if a faith-based service does not feel like the right fit. Ask your funeral director for help. There are funeral celebrants who are not attached to a church who can help you find the right fit. Your funeral director can help you find the right person. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Funerals are <u> always </u> for the survivors. Regardless of how the deceased spent their time on this earth, survivors need to gather with each other and their friends.  Everyone needs to share in a safe place. All survivors grieve. We all need the opportunity to begin our grief journey in a healthy way. A funeral, a ceremony for someone who has died, is the beginning of that journey. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/funerals-are-for-saints-and-sinners Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/who-should-record-my-funeral-wishes <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> There is a woman who once thought that she’d like to have a hologram made of her wearing an Obi-Wan Kenobi robe for her funeral. Her four sons grew up during the Star Wars era and similar to Obi-Wan, she would love to pass along the wisdom she acquired over her lifetime to those she loves. And yes, she would also like to have the last word!  So who should this woman see to discuss and share her wishes? Should she talk to an attorney? Her financial planner? Or a funeral director? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Both her attorney and financial planner suggested they could help but she wasn’t convinced based on her past experience. When her parents died the funeral was over before she even started to work on the finances and the estate. And there was so much attention paid to the final, final part…burial or cremation. She decided to contact her family funeral home and she met with Sue, the advance funeral planner. As it turns out, helping people get their funeral plans in place is Sue’s only job at the funeral home. And help this woman Sue did! </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> They talked about what this woman thought she wanted for her funeral plans. They talked a lot about her family – her husband, her four grown up sons, their wives and their children. Sue helped this woman see that although her sons would appreciate the Obi Wan idea, her husband would need something a little more traditional with a spiritual element. They talked about the cost and how she could keep that under control. They also talked about the burial and cremation options. Sue explained to the woman that if she wasn’t ready, she didn’t need to make a decision about burial or cremation. The woman ended up talking to her family about it and she was able to get her wishes recorded at the funeral home and she decided to use a payment plan. With her plan in place, she can go in and change her plans at any time (e.g. if she decides she wants to be cremated at a later date) and Sue will help her with that. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Sue also suggested the woman begin gathering those <em> words of wisdom </em> that she wants to share at her funeral and bring them to Sue so she can put them in the file. On the day of the woman’s funeral, the funeral directors will print these <em> words of wisdom </em> and hand them out to those attending the funeral. As it turns out, holograms aren’t available just yet, but Sue thinks they may be prior to this woman’s death. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> In the end, leaving the finances to the financial planner, the will &amp; estate planning to the attorney, and the funeral planning to the funeral home made the most sense for this woman. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/who-should-record-my-funeral-wishes Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/thinking-about-skipping-the-funeral <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Are you considering going to a funeral? Will you be a guest or, are you the survivor in charge and deciding if there will even be a funeral? Either way, before you just skip the funeral perhaps you should consider how elephants behave when one of their species dies. Perhaps we have something to learn from <em> Dumbo. </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> First of all, elephants are very busy mammals. Just like us, they have to work hard to keep life together. An elephant needs to spend nearly 20 hours per day looking for and eating food. However, they do take time to honor their dead. It is rare to see an elephant in the wild stand still. However, when they happen upon the remains of an elephant, they seem to understand they need to stop and take a minute to pay homage. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Elephants have a natural curiosity about death. They seem to understand that somehow death is connected to their own existence. They use their trunks to fondle the bones of the deceased. They are still and strangely quiet. They raise one foot and paw the air, they are gentle, and they shed tears. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Elephants, like humans, have very strong social bonds. They help one another. A funeral is an opportunity for people to gather and be still. It is our opportunity to pay homage to our human existence. It’s a safe place to shed a tear, give a hug, or tell a story. A funeral, in any one of many forms, is an opportunity to reach out to our fellow man and give or receive help and comfort. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> There is still a lot of debate regarding whether or not elephants feel emotion. Some think yes and others are equally convinced emotion is exclusive to humans. So maybe we humans should embrace our emotion and just feel it? Having a funeral doesn’t make you sad. You are sad because someone has died. That sad emotion won’t go away just because you skip the funeral. The funeral is actually the first step in the long journey to feeling better. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/thinking-about-skipping-the-funeral Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/cremation-or-burial-is-that-the-question <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> When a family member dies or when a person is planning their own funeral in advance, one of the first questions that will be asked is, “Do you want burial or cremation?” The burial or cremation question is a starting point for a number of choices that must be made. It’s a place to start. But it is absolutely not the entire story. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> So, how do you decide? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Approximately 50 percent of people choose burial, so that means the other half choose to be cremated. The numbers vary vastly in different parts of the country, from small towns to big cities, from one faith base to another, from one family to another. The most important thing to remember when you are the decision maker is this: let go of what you think burial is, and let go of what you think cremation is. Either can be just about anything you want, and either can provide comfort for your family. So, yes, cremation can include faith, gathering, visitation, a funeral and burial. And, yes, burial can include a celebration of life, music, and pictures in addition to visitation, faith, and funeral. Woo Hoo! Who knew you can have it your way! </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Here are a few things to consider when deciding between cremation or burial. What is your family tradition? Do you want to continue with that tradition, or do you want to change things up? Do you and your family share a faith base? Where does your faith stand on the cremation or burial question? Where do you live? Does your family live near you? Will someone be around to tend or visit your burial place? Will your family be disappointed if there is no grave to visit? What is your budget? What will your family be able to do? Will they put together a video, sing a song, tell a story, host the gathering?  What can they do and where will they appreciate help? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If the choice is to bury, a cemetery will need to be selected and then a location within that cemetery. The burial site provides a place for family members to visit and remember. They can bring flowers or flags to decorate the gravesite during the course of the year. These are all actions that many families find help them with the grieving process. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If the choice is to cremate, then a final location for cremated remains will need to be selected. Sadly, this final and very important decision is often overlooked. There are many options. Cremated remains can be buried, placed in a niche, scattered, or retained by a family member. Careful consideration of those left with the ashes should be made before deciding on a final resting place for cremated remains. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It is a lot. Fortunately, help is available. A funeral director or advance funeral planner can help, and all you need to do is call the funeral home to arrange for an appointment. There is usually no cost for an arrangement appointment. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/cremation-or-burial-is-that-the-question Articles,Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/funeral-home-near-me <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Even if you live in a small town, you are likely to be presented with more than one choice when you google <em> funeral home near me. </em> The search will provide you with contact information, location, and perhaps a link to websites of the funeral homes near your immediate location. The search is a useful first step, but most people need more to help them decide which funeral home to use. The eight steps below should get you started on solid footing. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/funeral-home-near-me Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/vanished-without-a-trace No obituary was written, no stone was laid, no words were spoken, no one gathered, no songs were sung and yet… She went to church almost every Sunday of her life. She loved music. The opera and the song Amazing Grace were at the top of her list. She played golf and bet on the ponies. She traveled to China and saw the Great Wall, and to Rome, Paris, and Budapest. She won trophies at golf. She skied and was a master at bridge. She swam in the ocean, collected seashells and watched the whales. She read hundreds of books and saw scores of plays and movies. She painted walls, and flowers, and pictures of her pets. She raised five children and played with grandchildren and great grandchildren. She went to all the weddings, graduations, bridal showers and baby showers. She moved her family and her life 11 times to accommodate her husband’s career. She made new friends (that she kept forever) everywhere she moved. She started a new career of her own time and time again. And made more friends. She called friends, visited friends, wrote to friends and hung out with her friends. She was loved by her family and they visited often. Her home was full of pictures of family and friends. Her grandchildren learned about growing flowers and berries and tomatoes from her. She lived a long and productive life. So how, you might ask, did she come to pass from this earth without the event being marked or her life celebrated? How is that her friends do not even know she is gone? Why are her children and grandchildren bearing the loss without the comfort of each other’s company? She told them, “Please don’t make a fuss.” Her family took her at her word. No fuss was made. She vanished without a trace. www.ueckerwitt.com <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> No obituary was written, no stone was laid, no words were spoken, no one gathered, no songs were sung and yet… </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> She went to church almost every Sunday of her life. She loved music. The opera and the song <em> Amazing Grace </em> were at the top of her list. She played golf and bet on the ponies. She traveled to China and saw the Great Wall, and to Rome, Paris, and Budapest. She won trophies at golf. She skied and was a master at bridge. She swam in the ocean, collected seashells and watched the whales. She read hundreds of books and saw scores of plays and movies. She painted walls, and flowers, and pictures of her pets. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> She raised five children and played with grandchildren and great grandchildren. She went to all the weddings, graduations, bridal showers and baby showers. She moved her family and her life 11 times to accommodate her husband’s career. She made new friends (that she kept forever) everywhere she moved. She started a new career of her own time and time again. And made more friends. She called friends, visited friends, wrote to friends and hung out with her friends. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> She was loved by her family and they visited often. Her home was full of pictures of family and friends. Her grandchildren learned about growing flowers and berries and tomatoes from her. She lived a long and productive life. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> So how, you might ask, did she come to pass from this earth without the event being marked or her life celebrated? How is that her friends do not even know she is gone? Why are her children and grandchildren bearing the loss without the comfort of each other’s company? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> She told them, “Please don’t make a fuss.” Her family took her at her word. No fuss was made. She vanished without a trace. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/vanished-without-a-trace thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/who-becomes-a-funeral-director <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The funeral director is often the son or daughter of a funeral director. They grew up understanding the contribution the job brings to the community. Funeral directors are helpers. It’s more than just being understanding and compassionate. Funeral directors know what to do. They can guide a family that is in disarray due to a sudden loss of a family member. They know exactly where to begin when no one in the family has any idea what to do. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> For the funeral directors who did not grow up in the business, they were drawn to the profession by their own memorable experience with loss. Having been comforted and supported by a funeral service themselves, they chose to enter the profession to help others. Funeral directors are helpers. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> According to the <a href="https://www.nfda.org/"> National Funeral Directors Association </a> , 16% of their member funeral directors are women. You can expect to see that number increase as 61% of current mortuary school students are female. Some suggest the increase in women entering the profession reflects changes taking place in the funeral service itself. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The idea of celebrating the unique life of an individual who has died opens unlimited possibilities. Today’s funeral directors are increasingly involved in coordinating with clergy and a whole host of family members and others to ensure the service reflects the life of the person who died. This planning and developing a personalized service is appealing to many women. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The profession has always taken care of the deceased, lifting that burden from families.  Today’s directors still take care of the one who died, but the real emphasis is on helping the survivors begin a healthy grieving process. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Who becomes a funeral director? People who care, people who can lead, people who can mediate, people who are team players, people who quiet chaos. In short, people who help. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/who-becomes-a-funeral-director thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/writing-the-thank-you-notes Writing thank you notes is usually one of the very first “after the funeral” tasks you will undertake. You may be surprised to find that your brain/hand coordination is not working so well. You sit there with pen in hand and well-formed thoughts in your head, but somehow it all gets lost between the head and the paper. Don’t despair. This is normal and it’s all part of the grief journey. You are not thinking straight now, but you will again soon. First, let’s tackle who gets a “thank you” and then I can give you a few wordy ideas to help you get started. Anyone who made a donation or sent flowers should get a thank you note from a family member. You will also want to send a note to people who helped. Maybe they provided food or took care of the dog for you or picked up people at the airport. All of those folks should receive a note of thanks. You do not need to send notes to people who sent condolence cards, emails, or texts. Your words can be brief. No one expects a long letter from you at this time. It is just nice to know that the flowers arrived, or the donation was received. Your kind friends just need to hear thank you. Thank you for all your kindness …. Your help meant so much to us…. We all loved the broccoli, thank you for taking care of us …. Your flowers were so beautiful and such a comfort to us …. For some, these are written the day after the funeral. Everyone sits around the kitchen table to write the thank you notes and everyone laughs as more than a few notes are torn and tossed in the trash. This may be the first laughter heard in several days. www.ueckerwitt.com <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Writing thank you notes is usually one of the very first “after the funeral” tasks you will undertake. You may be surprised to find that your brain/hand coordination is not working so well. You sit there with pen in hand and well-formed thoughts in your head, but somehow it all gets lost between the head and the paper. Don’t despair. This is normal and it’s all part of the grief journey. You are not thinking straight now, but you will again soon. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> First, let’s tackle who gets a “thank you” and then I can give you a few wordy ideas to help you get started. Anyone who made a donation or sent flowers should get a thank you note from a family member. You will also want to send a note to people who helped. Maybe they provided food or took care of the dog for you or picked up people at the airport. All of those folks should receive a note of thanks. You do not need to send notes to people who sent condolence cards, emails, or texts. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Your words can be brief. No one expects a long letter from you at this time. It is just nice to know that the flowers arrived, or the donation was received. Your kind friends just need to hear thank you. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> Thank you for all your kindness …. </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> Your help meant so much to us…. </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> We all loved the broccoli, thank you for taking care of us …. </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> Your flowers were so beautiful and such a comfort to us …. </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> For some, these are written the day after the funeral. Everyone sits around the kitchen table to write the thank you notes and everyone laughs as more than a few notes are torn and tossed in the trash. This may be the first laughter heard in several days. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/writing-the-thank-you-notes thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/control-funeral-costs-by-planning-ahead <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> How does planning for your funeral in advance save you money? Doesn’t it just let the funeral home make money on your money? How big a part should emotion play in your funeral selections? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> First, let’s be honest. Emotion is not a bad thing. Some life events <em> should </em> move us emotionally. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Marriage, birth, and death all appropriately tug at our heartstrings. But the cost of all three can also get out of hand if you make all the decisions when emotions are running high. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Put the word “wedding” in front of anything and the cost doubles. If you’ve ever planned a wedding you know that the dress will cost you half as much if you buy it far in advance instead of just before you need it. The same is true of funerals. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> When you and your spouse sit down together with the funeral director, well in advance, you’ll feel a little emotion as you consider the reality of your death. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> But that little tug is nothing compared to what your husband or wife will feel if you don’t prepare in advance and they’re making those decisions alone hours after you’ve died. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Emotional overspending happens. Funeral directors don’t make it happen. In fact, they don’t like it either. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Advance planning allows you to make all the decisions that determine the final cost. Making them together with cool heads and warm hearts saves dollars. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Planning ahead eliminates the excessive spending that can occur when someone is in a heightened emotional state. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Think back to wedding planning. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Starting early can also help you absorb the cost over a longer period of time. That means you don’t drag the wedding debt into your brand new marriage. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> When you plan your funeral in advance, you will also have the option of paying for it over time. That means you don’t have to take money from your savings or investments and your survivors won’t have the financial burden of paying for your funeral days after your passing. Advance planning eliminates the need for a lump sum payment when death occurs. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> All money set aside in advance for a funeral should be held with a third party. Nearly all funeral homes participate in programs that hold the dollars in either insurance or a trust product until the death occurs. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The funeral home should not have access to your funds and the insurance products they use should have an increasing death benefit to help offset inflation, providing a cushion for increasing funeral costs. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Consult with an advance planning specialist for more details. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/control-funeral-costs-by-planning-ahead Pre-Planning thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/scam-protection <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> How do I protect myself from scams that have become all too common in society today? How do I prevent myself from becoming a victim of the scammers who are on the phone, on the computer and at the front door? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Stuff needs to get done around your house. Maybe you could use some help with yard work, painting, window cleaning, or a new roof. You answer the phone. Another group is asking for your monetary support. What do you do? How do you respond? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Take the time now to familiarize yourself with hard and fast rules designed to help you make good choices and avoid the masters of the scam. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Rule number 1: NEVER hire someone you don’t know to do a job who comes to your door and asks for the job. Here’s what they will tell you: </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Just say no nicely and shut the door. Better yet, don’t open the door to a stranger! Only hire someone you call and who provides references. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Rule number 2: When it comes to the phone and internet, NEVER give ANY personal information, make a financial contribution, or buy anything from anyone who calls, emails, or texts you and asks. Just say, “I do not ever do that.” Here’s what they will tell you: </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Just say no and hang up. Better yet, screen your calls. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Rule number 3: Give yourself a COOLING OFF PERIOD. NEVER be pressured into a quick decision, especially one that involves money. Designate someone you trust to be your decision buddy BEFORE you need them. Make a hard and fast rule for yourself that before you act, you’ll share what you are thinking about doing with this person. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Talk to your spouse, partner or parents about scams and scammers. Make a short list of rules for yourself. No exception rules, short and easy to remember. Sign up for AARP fraud alert network at AARP.org. Be prepared. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Finally, if you have been scammed don’t keep it a secret. Report it to your state’s Attorney General, the FBI, or Federal Trade Commission. Ask for help. It is embarrassing. Once you realize what happened, you feel foolish and that can be depressing. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Stuff happens. These people know exactly how to push the buttons of nice, kind folks. Prevention is the only real defense. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/scam-protection thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/honoring-military-service Taps. There is nothing like the sound of those patriotic notes. It grabs your heart, it makes you cry. It honors the service and risk a man or woman took for our safety and the safety of our country. Public law provides military burial benefits for all who served and were honorably discharged from any of the five branches of the U.S. Military. Your funeral director or advance funeral planner can explain all of the benefits you or your family members are eligible to receive. They will also access those benefits related to the funeral or burial on your behalf. Your funeral director can help you weave the remembrance of your loved one’s military service into the fabric of their full life experience. Most who have served in any of the branches of our military, whether it be for a few years or as a career, will tell you the experience had a profound impact on their life.  Even when the service period was brief and at a tender age and followed by many years of some other vocation, that service should be honored. The funeral professionals at your local funeral home have the resources and know how to help you get the remembrance just right. In addition to the playing of taps and flag ceremony provided by public law, there are caskets, vaults, and urns that highlight each branch of the armed services to be considered. Photos and music can also be a part of the funeral gathering or ceremony and can add so much to the remembrance. How much or how little your family wishes to focus on the military service of a loved one is a matter of personal choice. With the assistance of your funeral director, a military service can be planned that finds the perfect balance for your family. www.ueckerwitt.com <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Taps. There is nothing like the sound of those patriotic notes. It grabs your heart, it makes you cry. It honors the service and risk a man or woman took for our safety and the safety of our country. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Public law provides military burial benefits for all who served and were honorably discharged from any of the five branches of the U.S. Military. Your funeral director or advance funeral planner can explain all of the benefits you or your family members are eligible to receive. They will also access those benefits related to the funeral or burial on your behalf. Your funeral director can help you weave the remembrance of your loved one’s military service into the fabric of their full life experience. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Most who have served in any of the branches of our military, whether it be for a few years or as a career, will tell you the experience had a profound impact on their life.  Even when the service period was brief and at a tender age and followed by many years of some other vocation, that service should be honored. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The funeral professionals at your local funeral home have the resources and know how to help you get the remembrance just right. In addition to the playing of taps and flag ceremony provided by public law, there are caskets, vaults, and urns that highlight each branch of the armed services to be considered. Photos and music can also be a part of the funeral gathering or ceremony and can add so much to the remembrance. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> How much or how little your family wishes to focus on the military service of a loved one is a matter of personal choice. With the assistance of your funeral director, a military service can be planned that finds the perfect balance for your family. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/honoring-military-service Holiday thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/three-ways-to-support-someone-who-is-grieving-in-isolation <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Grief is difficult in perfectly normal times. However, when a global pandemic has us isolated, we lose two important comfort and coping mechanisms. Hugs are very hard to come by these days. In normal times the physical touch of a hug fills the vacuum when a person who loves another is at a loss for words but wants to show they care. Those who are grieving now, isolated and alone, have also lost another important coping mechanism. Distraction, via activity, is lost to many. Bridge groups are not meeting, church services and events are cancelled, volunteer activities have been suspended, all leaving mourners with many hours to pass alone. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you know someone who has experienced a recent loss, look for a way to offer support and show you care. Three suggestions are: </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/three-ways-to-support-someone-who-is-grieving-in-isolation Grief thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/veterans-day--thank-you-for-your-service Because you are there we all sleep better at night. You serve in the Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines, and Coast Guard. Some of you serve for two years, some for twenty or more. Some enter into service at a tender age looking for opportunity. Some are following a longstanding family tradition. You are mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters. We, thank you for your service. You spend days, weeks, and even years away from your family. You are not always there to teach your daughter to ride her bike; perhaps you missed your son’s first steps. Because you serve, you can’t always be counted on to attend the baseball game or the teacher conference. With your service comes sacrifice. Sacrifices made by both you and your family.  We thank you and your family for your service. Thank you for being ready and on alert so that we can go about our business without even thinking about the “what ifs”. Thank you for putting yourself in harms way.  Thank you for giving us your time, your energy and your youth. Thank you for representing us with honor where ever you are stationed. Regardless of whether you serve us at home or in foreign lands, in time of war or peace, we thank you for your service. On Memorial Day we remember those who gave their lives in our service, on Armed Forces Day we honor those currently serving. On Veterans Day we honor all who have served our country from the Revolution in 1776 to today. Thank you. www.ueckerwitt.com <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Because you are there we all sleep better at night. You serve in the Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines, and Coast Guard. Some of you serve for two years, some for twenty or more. Some enter into service at a tender age looking for opportunity. Some are following a longstanding family tradition. You are mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters. We, thank you for your service. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> You spend days, weeks, and even years away from your family. You are not always there to teach your daughter to ride her bike; perhaps you missed your son’s first steps. Because you serve, you can’t always be counted on to attend the baseball game or the teacher conference. With your service comes sacrifice. Sacrifices made by both you and your family.  We thank you and your family for your service. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Thank you for being ready and on alert so that we can go about our business without even thinking about the “what ifs”. Thank you for putting yourself in harms way.  Thank you for giving us your time, your energy and your youth. Thank you for representing us with honor where ever you are stationed. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Regardless of whether you serve us at home or in foreign lands, in time of war or peace, we thank you for your service. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> On Memorial Day we remember those who gave their lives in our service, on Armed Forces Day we honor those currently serving. On Veterans Day we honor all who have served our country from the Revolution in 1776 to today. Thank you. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/veterans-day--thank-you-for-your-service Holiday thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/food-and-funerals <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Why is food such a fundamental part of any funeral? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Food provides comfort and strength. A gift of food shows that we care. It’s natural to connect food with the healing process of a funeral. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> When should you give food? What’s helpful without being overwhelming?  How do you accept food graciously without having to buy a second refrigerator? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you’re helping a friend who is dealing with the death of a loved one, a gift of food is appropriate before the funeral, at the conclusion of the funeral, and even weeks or months after the funeral. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> As you think about your gift, be aware that your friend may not even know they’re hungry. They likely won’t be able to tell you what they want or need. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Take the initiative and make it easy on them. Call with a simple offer that can be changed to meet the needs of those on the receiving end. You might say something like this: </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> “I’d like to bring your family dinner tomorrow evening. I thought I’d bring you a turkey roast with a broccoli casserole. Will that work for you? I’ll bring dinner by around 10:30 a.m. It’ll be all ready for you to warm in the oven or microwave.” </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> When you’re on the receiving end, be gracious, but honest. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Your friends want to help you. If their offer won’t be helpful, give them an opportunity to make a different suggestion. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> “Thank you for your offer, but we’re all set for the next few days. May I have a rain check?” </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you’re part of a close circle of friends, consider coordinating with others in your group to cover the family’s food needs on different days and with a variety of dishes. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Consider breakfast food. A basket with granola, muffins, or a breakfast casserole may be a nice change. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Sheet pan dinners, where the entire meal is cooked on one pan in the oven, are easy for both parties. You can find lots of recipes online. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you don’t cook, consider giving a gift card for a local restaurant that offers take out. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Whatever you do, don’t forget your friend after the funeral is over. Most people find sitting alone at the dinner table one of the bigger challenges of their bereavement. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> A loaf of your famous zucchini bread will be greatly appreciated and it’ll be even better if you can share it together over a cup of tea. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/food-and-funerals Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/cheap-funerals <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Funerals, like everything from paper towels to cars, come in cheap and expensive. It’s not as easy as you might think to figure out what qualifies as cheap when it comes to funerals. This is due, in part, because we don’t all have the same idea of what a “funeral” is. For some folks, a funeral includes a gathering of friends and family the evening before, a trip to the church with the body, a graveside committal service and a luncheon for all attendees following the burial. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> When families begin to talk about the cost of a funeral, they need to include all the hardware (casket and vault) that goes with all these steps and sometimes the real estate (burial plot) as well. For sure, you know that what you choose to eat for lunch is going to make a difference in the price tag. So, the first thing a person needs to do when shopping for cheap funerals is have a talk with the decision makers in the family and decide what you are looking for in a funeral. What does your family want, need, and expect? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> That done, you gotta know cheap is cheap. Think about those paper towels. You don’t have the same experience with the cheap paper towels as you do with ones that cost a bit more. If you are paying significantly less, you should expect less. Less staff with less education, less time spent with you and your family, less support. You should expect less to be included in the cost you were quoted and more to cost extra, over and above the cost you were quoted. So, in the end cheap funerals, like cheap paper towels (where you end up using twice as much), can cost MORE. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> That does not mean that you can’t find a good value. Talk to your local funeral director. Instead of calling on the phone and asking, “How much does a funeral cost?”, call and ask for a meeting. Go in prepared with what you want in a funeral, share your budget. Be honest and clear about what you want and need. Also bear in mind, you aren’t really looking for cheap funerals - plural. You are looking for a one-time experience (one funeral) to honor the life of someone close to you. Look for value not cheap. If you are looking for a cheap funeral for yourself remember the funeral is for the living, the family and friends. The burial itself is the only part that is for the individual who died. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/cheap-funerals Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/the-holidays-arent-the-same-this-year The Holidays are full of memories. Extended family gatherings at grandmother’s house and great big pot luck dinners all make us wax nostalgic. But the holidays, like the rest of life, do not stay the same. They change over time as circumstances change. Grandma dies, grandpa remarries, family members move across the country, cousins marry and go the wife’s family for Christmas, people divorce, and the celebrations change or maybe fall apart all together. It might be easy to get caught up in the memories and get stuck in the sad. Mourning the loss of what was is not the problem. The problem occurs when we are not able to enjoy what could be or what we have. The trick is balance. Cherishing the memories while jumping into making new memories and enjoying what we have right before us. It’s not easy, especially if the event that changed the holiday is fresh. Before a person can move on, they need to let go of the past. Letting go does not mean forgetting. It means opening yourself to new happiness, allowing yourself to enjoy the present. That can be hard. It may mean you have to look for something you like about grandpa’s new wife. It might mean you have to try your son-in-law’s fried turkey! Roasting is not the only way to cook a bird, you know. If the gathering has become smaller, look for the opportunity having a smaller group presents. Perhaps the kids can decorate cookies or help another way in the dinner preparation. Make new memories and traditions. As the day draws to an end, those gathered can take a moment to share one of their favorite memories of holidays past. Then everyone can also share what they loved about the present get together. Finding a way to enjoy what you have now doesn’t diminish what you had in the past. www.ueckerwitt.com <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The Holidays are full of memories. Extended family gatherings at grandmother’s house and great big pot luck dinners all make us wax nostalgic. But the holidays, like the rest of life, do not stay the same. They change over time as circumstances change. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Grandma dies, grandpa remarries, family members move across the country, cousins marry and go the wife’s family for Christmas, people divorce, and the celebrations change or maybe fall apart all together. It might be easy to get caught up in the memories and get stuck in the sad. Mourning the loss of what was is not the problem. The problem occurs when we are not able to enjoy what could be or what we have. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The trick is balance. Cherishing the memories while jumping into making new memories and enjoying what we have right before us. It’s not easy, especially if the event that changed the holiday is fresh. Before a person can move on, they need to let go of the past. Letting go does not mean forgetting. It means opening yourself to new happiness, allowing yourself to enjoy the present. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> That can be hard. It may mean you have to look for something you like about grandpa’s new wife. It might mean you have to try your son-in-law’s fried turkey! Roasting is not the only way to cook a bird, you know. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If the gathering has become smaller, look for the opportunity having a smaller group presents. Perhaps the kids can decorate cookies or help another way in the dinner preparation. Make new memories and traditions. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> As the day draws to an end, those gathered can take a moment to share one of their favorite memories of holidays past. Then everyone can also share what they loved about the present get together. Finding a way to enjoy what you have now doesn’t diminish what you had in the past. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/the-holidays-arent-the-same-this-year Holiday thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/until-death-do-us-part-losing-a-spouse---three-to-six-months-after-loss <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> By now most of the big stuff is probably done. The thank you notes have been written and mailed. The marker or head stone has been placed or you’ve found a place for the urn. You’ve probably filed for the life insurance, and perhaps you’ve even begun to clean out his closet. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> You may be wondering, what have I missed? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> How about you? What are you doing to take care of you? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Scientists tell us there is a hand/mind connection. Doing things with our hands actually increases our sense of well-being. Even simple chores such as washing the dishes, preparing your meal, or even making your bed help to provide purpose and a natural routine. Why not step outside of your box and try something creative that you used to enjoy doing or have thought about trying? Don’t discount the value of a craft, woodworking or art project. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Finally, see people. Human contact is vital to your new normal. If your friends and family aren’t calling you, then call them. Look for a movie you would like to see, a museum you would like to visit, or a restaurant you would like to try and ask someone to join you. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Leads: </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Have you changed the titles to your car? Click the link and find out what else you might need to do if your spouse has recently passed. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Don’t underestimate the importance of human contact after the passing of a spouse. Read this week’s blog and find out what else can help ease the pain. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Have you updated your estate plan or will? Follow the link to read about what else you might need to do if your spouse has recently passed. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Don’t discount the value of a craft, woodworking or art project after the passing of a spouse. Read this week’s blog to find out what other activities can help start the process of healing. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Are you eating well? You can’t forget to take care of yourself after the passing of your spouse. Follow the link to our blog to make sure you’re keeping up with your self care. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Doing simple chores can help to provide purpose and a natural routine. Click the link to find out how else you can start the healing process after the death of a spouse. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> You’ve probably filed for life insurance, but what else might you be missing? Read this week’s blog to determine what else you may need to do if your spouse has just passed away. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/until-death-do-us-part-losing-a-spouse---three-to-six-months-after-loss Grief thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/spring-a-fresh-optimistic-start <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The birds are back. Nest building is underway across America. The early blooms dot the landscape with bright yellows and blues. The grass is that beautiful fresh green that only happens this time of year. Spring has arrived. People feel revitalized, ready to take on new tasks and are optimistic about the future. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Of course, not everyone is in on the fun. Some folks struggle. Perhaps they have experienced a loss or change in their life that has them feeling down. Or, maybe they are caught up in the negative spiral of information and talk. What makes the difference? What makes the optimist optimistic? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Are those optimists just lucky to feel so up and energetic? Are they without challenges and personal loss? Are optimists born or, are they made? Do they remain upbeat in spite of adversity or, are they just getting a free ride and feeling no pain? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Optimists tell us their positive outlook is the result of conscious effort. It’s mind over matter.  Optimists work at focusing on the positive. They are not immune to those “Henny Penny the sky is falling” feelings of fear and panic. They get them too. The difference is they actively work at looking for the positive and protecting their optimistic attitude. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> When optimists feel panic, they reset their thinking by asking themselves, “Am I really okay right now, in this minute? Is there something I can do to improve the situation or is it out of my control? Do I need to ask for help or do I have the resources to deal with this myself?” If action is needed, they take that first tiny step to improve their situation. They own what they can do and let go of what they cannot improve, change, or fix. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Optimists live in the moment. We all hear about living in the moment, but some have no idea what that phrase means, much less how to go about doing it. Living in the moment means being mindful. Paying attention to where you are and what you are doing right now. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> So, for example, the simple task of walking the dog with your mind racing. Thinking about all you need to do when the walk is over is a chore. When approached from a living in the moment perspective you will pay attention to the way the dog notices little changes in the familiar path.  See what he sees, smell the fresh air, notice the squirrels and birds look at the sun and the clouds. The same walk becomes a joy. Optimists milk the joy from every task from washing the car to weeding the garden. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Optimists protect their positive attitude. Everyone knows people who just want to talk about the bad stuff. It’s a world of the service is never just right, the weather is always a little off, and the world is going to hell in a hand basket. These people could drag down an elephant. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Optimists don’t play that game. They don’t feed the negative by jumping in it themselves. They shut that negative talk down with something positive, or they just don’t spend as much time with those people. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Seeing the good in things, being positive and optimistic expands and becomes easier as the attitude is nurtured.  When we are kind and up-beat and others mirror what we do, we all benefit as the reflections become infinite. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/spring-a-fresh-optimistic-start Grief thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/nice-looking-funeral-home-doesnt-mean-expensive <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It’s not unusual for your local hometown funeral home to look better than your own home. However, that neatly mowed lawn and manicured landscape doesn’t mean expensive or out of reach. What it does mean is the people who work there pay attention to details, they care about the quality of their work, and they care about you. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> A neat and tidy environment calms the mind. According to a 2011 Princeton study, “ <em> While our brains are perhaps the most complex structures in the universe, capable of doing amazing things, they’re also easily overwhelmed. </em> <em> A cluttered environment makes it more difficult to focus on a specific task.” </em> That said, anyone who has ever experienced the death of a close family member or friend knows loss makes it difficult to think straight. The funeral home provides what mourners need, even if they don’t know they need it. You are offered an orderly, calming environment in which to wrestle with the impact of the death of the one you loved. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The funeral home is always company ready. The furniture is pleasant to look at and comfortable to sit in. It is free of pet hair. The carpets are vacuumed, sometimes in neat rows with military precision. All of this is provided so you don’t need to worry if your home is ready to receive guests. The funeral home is your place to receive your friends and family. A burden is lifted from the family when they know they have the support of the staff and a neat and tidy place to receive their friends without having to lift a finger. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> How the public spaces look reflect how carefully and respectfully the funeral directors and staff care for your deceased family member. The staff is equally obsessed with the paperwork that needs to be completed, the clergy person has what they need to provide the service, the cars and drivers are escorted safely to the church or grave-site and the deceased is presentable. The great attention to detail the funeral home staff provides translates to comfort and peace of mind for the family members. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> So, don’t be put off or intimidated by the lovely décor and neatness of your local funeral home. It’s all a part of the service. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/nice-looking-funeral-home-doesnt-mean-expensive Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/normandys-hallowed-ground <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Every year on June 6, we recognize the anniversary of the Normandy Invasion during World War II. The invasion by the Allied Forces established a foothold on the shores of France; and was the start of the Allied advance into the interior which eventually lead to victory in Europe and liberty for the millions of people living under the tyranny of Adolf Hitler. The costly battle was the most important allied victory in the second world war. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The campaign began on June 6 and ended on June 30. During that period 425,000 Allied and German troops were killed, wounded, or went missing. Many are buried in the 27 war cemeteries, ranging in size from 30 graves to 20,000, in Normandy. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The Normandy American Cemetery is the resting place for 9,387 Americans, most of whom gave their lives during the landing operations and in the establishment of the beachhead. The headstones are of white Italian marble adorned with a Star of David for those of Jewish faith and a Latin Cross for all others. The permanent cemetery is located on land France granted to the United States in perpetuity. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> For those fortunate enough to visit the burial grounds, the experience is singular.  Approaching alone or with a group the mood changes. Breathing slows, the chatter quiets, tones are hushed. The feeling is somber. It draws you in. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> And then, there it is, pristine lush green lawn dotted by thousands of white markers in perfect formation overlooking the very beaches where those buried here fought and died. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Visitors are, at first, overwhelmed by the sheer number of markers. But as you get closer and begin to read the engravings, the reality of the cost of war begins to sink in.  So many died, they were so very young, and all lost in such a short span of time. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> All those lives ended before they ever really began. So many who would never find their true love, hold a new born child of their own, or buy a home. So many who never got to experience all the post war changes the rest of us take for granted. Those buried here did not live to see air travel become commonplace, a man land on the moon or watch a color television. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> They were heroic and their sacrifice was great. We must never forget. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The anniversary is an opportunity to honor those lost. It is also an opportunity celebrate peace and reconciliation. In our mindfulness we become aware of the fragility of peace and the pain of war. It is that mindfulness that makes us better people. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> In the words of the late John Lennon… </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> Imagine all the people <br/> Living life in peace </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> You may say that I'm a dreamer <br/> But I'm not the only one <br/> I hope someday you'll join us <br/> And the world will be as one </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/normandys-hallowed-ground Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/cheap-cremation <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> How cheap is cheap cremation? How do they do it so cheap? How is cheap cremation different from the cremation services provided by your local funeral home? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The least expensive form of cremation is direct cremation. Direct cremation means that the body is picked up from the place of death and taken directly to the cremation facility.  Cremated remains are returned to the family in a simple container. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Direct cremation takes care of the body but does nothing for the family left behind. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> All funeral homes offer the option of a direct cremation. So, what is missing? Service. There is no help with a memorial service, gathering or celebration of the life.  Most families need more assistance. They need and want to come together and remember. However, in most circumstances, families need help putting together a memorial service after losing a beloved family member. Family members are stunned after a sudden loss and exhausted when death follows a long illness. They appreciate help. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Cremation societies may advertise very low-cost cremations. Very low cost usually means low staff levels, unskilled labor, people who have not been trained to serve families and no service.  When you sign up ask who will pick up the deceased. Ask if more than one body is transported to the cremation facility at a time. Ask how you can be sure the cremated remains you will pick up will be those of your family member. Compare the cost of the cremation society cremation to the direct cremation cost at your funeral home. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Finally, consider your family situation. Do all your family members live in town? Do you have children away at college? Won’t that child want to have a final good-bye with her grandmother before nana is cremated? The funeral home usually can make that good-bye happen. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Your local funeral home offers more options and more service than a cremation society. Saving money may be important but cheap just might not be what your family needs. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/cheap-cremation Articles thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/three-things-to-include-in-your-funeral-plan <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Many people plan their own funeral in advance. They keep their plan on file at the funeral home of their choice so that everyone in their family knows exactly what to do when they die. Others choose a more informal route and just tell their kids what they would like to have done. In either case, there are three things that will need to be covered. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> First consideration should be given to the service. Where will your family and friends gather together to share memories, give each other hugs, and accept the reality that you have died? How will the service be organized? A funeral service can be a celebration of life, a religious ceremony, or a combination of both. It can be held entirely at the funeral home or some part may take place at your place of worship or even a private club. The service that you plan and ask your family to carry out should be based not only on your personal preferences but should also be made with the needs of those closest to you in mind. What should be included to honor your life and give comfort to those you loved? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Second a plan must include “final disposition.” What will happen to your body? If you choose to be cremated, where will your cremated remains finally rest? If they are to be kept in an urn by family members, how will that plan play out for generations to come?  If your children are happy to keep you inurned on the mantle, will your grandchildren and great grandchildren continue that tradition? There are several options for final disposition for cremated remains. They can be buried, they can be placed in an urn and rest in a columbarium niche, they can be kept by family members or they can be scattered. What is important is the plan include the final step. What happens after cremation? Body burial is a bit more straightforward. One needs only to decide on a cemetery and purchase a burial space. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The third and final step in planning is to determine how your funeral will be paid for and who will be responsible. All three of these steps are easy to work out with the help of an advance funeral planner. Funeral homes all have a person on staff who will help you complete all the necessary steps. The best part? Planning your funeral is a free service and will include a cost estimate and keeping your plan on file at the funeral home. What a great gift for your family! </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/three-things-to-include-in-your-funeral-plan Pre-Planning thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/the-gift-of-a-note-to-your-family Nothing means more to a grieving child, spouse, sister, brother or friend than a personal note from the deceased. It’s something that will be cherished. The note will make its way out of it’s safe keeping spot whenever the mourner needs to feel close to the person who died. It will be read on those tearful days that are sure to come. It will also be read on those days that are full of joyful remembrance. The note doesn’t have to be eloquent. It doesn’t have to be brilliant or witty. It doesn’t have to be long. It just needs to tell the person how you feel about them. The writer might also include what they liked about recipient, enjoyed doing with them, or how the person was helpful. The note can express gratitude or love. It can include a shared “remember when” story. In the end it’s a love note. A personal connection that lasts even when life has ended. So, when do you write these notes and where do you keep them? There really is no need to wait. Write your notes today or tomorrow as you live your life. They can always be revised and updated. Waiting may mean that you never get around to it. Remember, life is fragile. If you have an advance funeral plan on file at your preferred funeral home, you might ask the funeral director to keep them for you. Just imagine how lovely it would be for your family to receive your note at the conclusion of their conference with the funeral director to finalize your arrangements. If you don’t have a plan on file, make sure someone in your family knows where the notes are kept and when they should be distributed. “We are fragile creatures, and it is from this weakness, not despite it, that we discover the possibility of true joy.” ― Desmond Tutu, The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World www.ueckerwitt.com <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Nothing means more to a grieving child, spouse, sister, brother or friend than a personal note from the deceased. It’s something that will be cherished. The note will make its way out of it’s safe keeping spot whenever the mourner needs to feel close to the person who died. It will be read on those tearful days that are sure to come. It will also be read on those days that are full of joyful remembrance. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The note doesn’t have to be eloquent. It doesn’t have to be brilliant or witty. It doesn’t have to be long. It just needs to tell the person how you feel about them. The writer might also include what they liked about recipient, enjoyed doing with them, or how the person was helpful. The note can express gratitude or love. It can include a shared “remember when” story. In the end it’s a love note. A personal connection that lasts even when life has ended. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> So, when do you write these notes and where do you keep them? There really is no need to wait. Write your notes today or tomorrow as you live your life. They can always be revised and updated. Waiting may mean that you never get around to it. Remember, life is fragile. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you have an advance funeral plan on file at your preferred funeral home, you might ask the funeral director to keep them for you. Just imagine how lovely it would be for your family to receive your note at the conclusion of their conference with the funeral director to finalize your arrangements. If you don’t have a plan on file, make sure someone in your family knows where the notes are kept and when they should be distributed. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <b> “We are fragile creatures, and it is from this weakness, not despite it, that we discover the possibility of true joy.” <br/> ― </b> <b> Desmond Tutu, </b> <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/49782515"> <b> The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World </b> </a> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/the-gift-of-a-note-to-your-family Grief thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-do-you-do-with-cremated-remains <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> What happens when no one decides what to do with the six pounds of cremated remains that are left following the funeral or memorial service? You might be surprised at some of the unusual places where they show up. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> For example, let’s just say you buy a swell little red two-seater sports car and drive that baby home. Of course, you are going to give her a good sprucing up. When you get around to cleaning the trunk you find a non-descript little plastic box. Close inspection reveals it’s full of a chunky greyish white substance. On the bottom of the box you notice there is a label and a name! OMG! You have what’s left of someone you never knew in your trunk! Or, you buy a house and it looks like someone left a nice vase in the attic … you get where I am going with this, right? As life moves on, sometimes well-meaning people lose track of the box or urn they were looking after. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Thrift stores and Goodwill are often the recipient of cremated remains. And guess what? They don’t want your great uncle Henry. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> How can this be? Well, family members are not always comfortable with the scattering plan the deceased requested. It’s hard to dispose of what remains of someone you loved. Perhaps the plan wasn’t even realistic. The sand trap on the seventh hole is really not an easy place to “scatter” six pounds of crushed bone fragments. It’s not sand. All too often, cremated remains find their way back to the funeral home years after the funeral service took place. It’s the boom-a-rang effect, leaving the funeral home with the task of tracking down a living relative. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The moral of this story is simple. When someone you love tells you they “just want to be cremated” ask this question, “And then what shall we do with your ashes?”. If you are thinking about cremation don’t leave your plan partially complete. Talk to your funeral director or advance funeral planner (both can be found at your local funeral home) about your options for after the cremation. Make sure the family members you designate to carry out your final plan are comfortable and able to take care of the final resting place for your ashes. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Finally, if you have a family member’s cremated ashes in the attic, trunk, or somewhere unusual and you need help with a final plan… call the funeral home. They can help you make choices. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-do-you-do-with-cremated-remains Articles thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-does-the-embalming-room-look-like <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> What happens during the embalming process? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> What are the benefits of embalming? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> What are the options if I do not want my loved one embalmed? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Embalming takes place in a designated area of the funeral home. This space is off-limits to all but the professional staff members. Similar to a surgical suite in a hospital, the embalming room is built and furnished with hard surfaces, like tile, stainless steel, or concrete.  These materials are easily cleaned and nonabsorbent. The embalming room is very clean and is designed and maintained like a medical procedure room. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> During the embalming process, the deceased is placed on a hospital-style gurney or embalming table. Throughout the process, the body is treated with the upmost respect and dignity. It is covered except when it is necessary to expose a part in order to complete the procedure.  Funeral directors are very aware that the body was home to the spirit of a valued family member, and it is treated accordingly. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> During the embalming process the body is cleansed, body fluids are replaced with embalming fluids, features are set, and make up is applied to create a more natural appearance. In some cases, restoration is needed. Restoration is used to “repair” the body when an accident, violence, or disease has caused the body damage. Finally, the body is dressed. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Embalming is an ancient process that goes back to the time before Christ.  It has been updated over time to use fewer and less toxic chemicals. It is a form of preserving the body. In America embalming came into regular practice during the civil war. An embalmed body could be preserved and transported back to the soldier’s home so that the family could say their goodbyes. Today, embalming is required by law in some states when the body is going to be transported across state lines. Embalming is required by most funeral homes when a visitation with the body present will be part of the service. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Dying is often very hard on the body. Body mass is lost, pain and suffering make their mark on the facial features. Efforts to keep the dying person alive or comfortable, bruise the body.  Embalming provides the benefit of rolling back the clock and giving friends and family an opportunity to say their farewells to someone who looks more like the person they remember.  For most people, the final expression they see on a loved one’s face sticks with them and is a lasting memory. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> For those who prefer not to embalm, but still have family members who would like to have a private family viewing, other options are available. The family just needs to talk to their funeral director. Refrigeration can be used to slow down decomposition and can be a good alternative when religion or family custom eliminate the option of embalming. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The cost of embalming varies from one part of the country to the next. A family should not eliminate embalming for cost reasons alone. Talk to your funeral director. Always share both your family’s wants and needs as well as your budget with the funeral director. You may be surprised to find out embalming is less expensive than you expected. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-does-the-embalming-room-look-like Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/flowers-and-funerals <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> What’s the story behind flowers at a funeral? Well, back in the day before funeral directors perfected the art and science of embalming, flowers were used to mask the odor of the body. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> In modern times flowers are no longer needed to mask unpleasant odors but they have come to be a part of the funeral for other reasons. When we struggle to find words to comfort a friend, flowers speak eloquently for us. They express that we care. Flowers can be sent from any place in the world to any place in the world. When we are not able to go to the service, flowers stand in our stead. Flowers are always in good taste and they are appreciated for the beauty and serenity they bring to the occasion. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Did you know different flower colors have different meanings? White flowers symbolize honor and innocence. In many religions, death means going to heaven and a return to innocence. White lilies, carnations, roses, and cushion poms are often used in funeral arrangements. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Red flowers are frequently given by a spouse or close family member. Red blooms symbolize courage, strength, and love. The red tulip is a symbol of perfect love. Blue flowers such as hydrangea and cornflowers represent peace and serenity. Yellow flowers symbolize friendship and new beginnings. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Flowers for the casket are usually provided by close family members. Funeral flowers are sent directly to the funeral home and are not usually addressed to a particular family member, but rather are sent in honor of the deceased. It is appropriate to send smaller cut flowers or plants of remembrance to individual family members at their home. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Flowers help us communicate feelings of the heart. Flowers speak for us and say we love you, we support you, we are proud of you, and we are with you on your grief journey. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> In recorded time, and probably before, communities have understood the importance of gathering following a death. Paying respects to the deceased and comforting the survivors has been a part of life. Coming together when an important life event occurs is just natural. We come to see the new baby and we gather when a loved one’s life on this earth ends. We celebrate and remember with flowers. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/flowers-and-funerals Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/talking-with-a-veteran <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Talking with a veteran of the more recent wars or conflicts such as Vietnam, Afghanistan, or Iraq can be intimidating. You may have a parent or spouse who served in Vietnam who has never shared anything about their experience with you. The Vietnam War was different from wars in the past in that the value of the war itself was questioned and many of those who served came home to a hostile public. It was not a hero’s welcome. Their story may have been bottled up all these years and time is running out for families to learn about their loved one’s experience. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Since the Vietnam War, a small percentage of the U.S. population has served in our armed forces. This means the Vietnam experience is not shared by the broader population and those who did not serve can’t possibly understand what war is like. Not understanding can make us uncomfortable about starting a conversation.  As a result, veterans can feel isolated while we remain unaware. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> How can we push past our discomfort? How can we talk with these people we love and appreciate about a period in their life that was so very important to them? It can be tricky depending on how well you know the veteran. Below you will find some tips to aid your conversation with a veteran: </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It is always a good idea to do your homework and study the war prior to your discussion. And most of all, express your appreciation for their time and service. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/talking-with-a-veteran Veteran thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/why-dont-we-celebrate-life-while-the-person-is-alive Interesting question, isn’t it? The person asking the question had recently attended what he described as a “fabulous funeral.” Turns out the funeral was billed as a celebration of life. Our questioner, Mark, attended because the person who died was the mother of a co-worker he had worked with for more than 30 years. Mark was so impressed with the woman’s talents, interests, and accomplishments, all of which were highlighted during the service, he said he wished he had known her. The service got him thinking. Perhaps the deceased would have enjoyed seeing how much her neighbors, friends, grandchildren and children thought of her? Mark was thinking it might be better to celebrate a person’s life BEFORE they die. What about that idea? Don’t we do that? Celebrate a person’s life while they are alive.  It’s called a birthday party. Maybe we hold back a little. Perhaps we don’t gush over the person’s accomplishments as much on the birthday because the birthday boy or girl is too humble to feel comfortable being lauded while present and breathing? So, is the value of a wonderful life celebration/funeral diminished because the person it was all about isn’t there to enjoy it? Or does the “value” of a funeral run deeper than that?  Isn’t a funeral a validation of the significance of life in general? Might the fact that Mark was so moved by this ordinary women’s life inspire him to make more of his own? Isn’t it a worthwhile lesson for all of us to take a few hours and remember a person who died? Each of us is unique.  Each of us walks a different path. Shouldn’t just about everyone’s life be summed up with a “fabulous funeral”? www.ueckerwitt.com <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Interesting question, isn’t it? The person asking the question had recently attended what he described as a “fabulous funeral.” Turns out the funeral was billed as a celebration of life. Our questioner, Mark, attended because the person who died was the mother of a co-worker he had worked with for more than 30 years. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Mark was so impressed with the woman’s talents, interests, and accomplishments, all of which were highlighted during the service, he said he wished he had known her. The service got him thinking. Perhaps the deceased would have enjoyed seeing how much her neighbors, friends, grandchildren and children thought of her? Mark was thinking it might be better to celebrate a person’s life BEFORE they die. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> What about that idea? Don’t we do that? Celebrate a person’s life while they are alive.  It’s called a birthday party. Maybe we hold back a little. Perhaps we don’t gush over the person’s accomplishments as much on the birthday because the birthday boy or girl is too humble to feel comfortable being lauded while present and breathing? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> So, is the value of a wonderful life celebration/funeral diminished because the person it was all about isn’t there to enjoy it? Or does the “value” of a funeral run deeper than that?  Isn’t a funeral a validation of the significance of life in general? Might the fact that Mark was so moved by this ordinary women’s life inspire him to make more of his own? Isn’t it a worthwhile lesson for all of us to take a few hours and remember a person who died? Each of us is unique.  Each of us walks a different path. Shouldn’t just about everyone’s life be summed up with a “fabulous funeral”? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/why-dont-we-celebrate-life-while-the-person-is-alive Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/do-i-really-need-to-attend-the-funeral <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <span> <span> Your support is important. When a child is born, it is a life changing event for the parents, siblings, and grandparents at the very least. It may also be a life changing event for the kindergarten teacher five years in the future. Bottom line, life matters. </span> </span> <span> <span> </span> </span> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <span> </span> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <span> <span> When a life ends, it is also a life-changing event. Regardless of the age at which the person dies or circumstances of the death, lives will change. Family and friends will never see that person again. They will not share in each other’s joy. Neither will they have the opportunity to heal old wounds. They will not hear that voice in praise, love or anger ever again. It’s over, and in some way everyone close will have to adjust to the change. </span> </span> <span> <span> </span> </span> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <span> </span> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <span> <span> The funeral, whether in-person or virtual, acknowledges a living person is gone. Your presence says, “Yes, this life mattered. And, yes, your lives have changed. But not everything has changed, you still have us.” Going to the funeral home or watching the live stream is important. </span> </span> <span> <span> </span> </span> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <span> <span> </span> </span> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <span> <span> The funeral is a safe place for the family to receive guests and their condolences. It’s ok to cry at the funeral. In a few weeks when you see this friend of yours who lost her mom, you will want to say something. And when you do, the emotion will open up and the sadness will surface. Crying at the grocery store or the park is uncomfortable for everyone. </span> </span> <span> <span> </span> </span> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <span> <span> </span> </span> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <span> <span> When people organize a funeral and ask friends and family to share in their loss and sorrow, help them. Please go, share a memory, offer your condolences, and smile at the video. Do this especially now, when losing a loved one is particularly hard. Let them cry in a safe place. </span> </span> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <a href="/"> <span> <span> www.ueckerwitt.com </span> </span> </a> </p> <p> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/do-i-really-need-to-attend-the-funeral Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-do-funeral-directors-do <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Today, there was a funeral. People cried. Tissues were crumpled and left on the tables.  Flower petals fell to the floor. Now, the cleaning staff is making things tidy for the family who will be here tomorrow. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Someone in our town died away from home, the funeral director is traveling many miles to bring him home and into the funeral home’s care. The light is on in anticipation of his safe return. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Hospice called. The teacher who taught the funeral director -- and you -- in the third grade isn’t expected to make it through the night. He’s catching up on paperwork while he keeps vigil. Soon he’ll be called to the home and it will be his turn to take care of the teacher. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> There are computer problems. The video tribute file a family sent won’t work. We’re staying late to make it right for their service. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It was a busy day today and we still need to notify Social Security and the Veteran’s Administration of Mr. Smith’s death. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> There’s been a terrible accident. We’re doing our best to make a loved one presentable so that they can say goodbye with dignity. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The obituary the Jones’s gave us for their father is full of misspellings. We need to correct them and get it to the paper. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> We’re reviewing all of the details for tomorrow’s service. When will the celebrant arrive? Do we have drivers for the cars? Who will be the pallbearers? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> We’re checking tomorrow’s weather in case we need the umbrellas. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home? </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The light is on because your neighbor, the funeral director, is pacing the floor. He can’t sleep. Tomorrow, he will oversee the service for his daughter’s classmate. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Sometimes death is just too close, even for him. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-do-funeral-directors-do Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/preplanning-your-funeral-in-your-60s <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> According to a National Funeral Directors Association survey, more than half (62.5%) of us expect to participate in making our own funeral arrangements. And yet, less than a quarter of us have actually acted on that impulse. Not really so surprising since making funeral arrangements can literally be the very last thing we do. We can put it off right up to the end! </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> So, when do you think you should just go ahead and get it done? How about when you are critically ill? Or, maybe before you go on that cruise? Does when you go into the nursing home seem too late? How about as you are preparing for retirement?  Actually, sooner is better than later for several reasons. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> First, there is no down side to having your arrangements in place. If something new comes along or you change your mind about what you want, you can always make changes to your plan. If you move, you just move your plan. Nothing is carved in stone. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Second, there are some real up-sides to getting your funeral plan written and on file at the funeral home. For one thing, you just never know. people do die unexpectedly. And then there is the money. Historically funerals, like almost everything, have gone up in price over the years. The funeral of today will likely almost double in cost in 10 years. Why are you waiting? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Prearranged funerals are often funded in a way that buffers or even eliminates the impact of rising prices. You buy at today’s prices and you are done. When you plan in advance you also have the benefit of being able to pay over a specified period of time (you choose). As you age your choices become more limited. When you make your arrangements while you are in reasonably good health the cost of your funeral can be paid in full should you die before you’ve completed your payment cycle. Again, sooner is better than later. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The early 60’s is a good time to visit your neighborhood funeral home and get your plan written and on file. This is when you will get the most out of the funding options.  It is also when you are likely to have a good idea of what you will want in the way of services. At this age you are grounded, and you are likely to still be earning income. Making payments for a bit will hardly be noticed. Then when you retire, and take that cruise, you can just enjoy. You’re all set to just enjoy the rest of what life has to offer. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/preplanning-your-funeral-in-your-60s Pre-Planning thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/where-are-you-now-three-to-six-months-after-the-death-of-a-spouse <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Grief is individual. Everyone experiences the sorrow over the loss of a loved one in their own way and at their own pace. That said, there is enough common ground for scientists, behaviorists and psychologists to describe steps or stages of grief. These scales for grief are useful. They can be helpful to see your feelings mirrored in the process and it is good to see that progress is to be expected. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> In his book, <u> Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy </u> , William Worden takes a little different approach. He describes four tasks the mourner must accomplish. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The task of accepting the reality of the loss usually takes place in the first weeks and months after the death. This is a busy time. There are many things to do. The busy work of filing papers and getting affairs in order can distract a person to the point they don’t feel the loss. This in turn can delay task number two - <em> Working through the grief </em> <em> and pain. </em> At some point, it is necessary to slow down and allow yourself to feel the pain. As Worden tells us, “The prescription for grief is to grieve. In my experience I have seen that despite best efforts, there is no way to “get around” grief; we have to be willing to go through it in order to get to the other side.” </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Sometime around that three to six-month time frame, it will be time to begin the work needed to accomplish task number three, <em> Adjust to a new environment </em> . This task requires much and takes time. It can mean learning how to live alone, learning how to pay your bills, cook your food, or care for your car. It can mean learning how to ask for and accept help. For some, this may be the hardest part. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> However, just as grief can’t be skipped or glossed over, adjusting to life without a person’s loved one must be done by the mourner. No one can do it for them. Others can help, but if one is to go on with life and experience all the joy of the future, it is necessary to engage in this task. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/where-are-you-now-three-to-six-months-after-the-death-of-a-spouse Grief thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/when-i-die-i-just-want-you-to- Adult children of parents of a certain age frequently find themselves caught off guard by parents who want to share their do’s and don’ts about their funeral service. It’s just natural to want to share thoughts on one’s final wishes. Most families appreciate the guidance. However, something this important really should be written and on file at the funeral home. Consistency is crucial. A series of “in the moment” comments to various children at different times, almost always leads to each child having at least a slightly different page at a time when they really need to work together. Those off hand missives are very frequently made without consideration of the mourners. Telling children, you don’t want to be viewed after death may mean that a dear granddaughter who lives far away misses out on the opportunity to say “good-bye” in a way that would have helped her. So, before telling your children what you would like for your funeral service consider asking them what they would like to do for you. It’s also for the family that is left behind. Enlisting the help of a funeral director or advance planner is very helpful and not at all difficult. Nearly all funeral homes have dedicated staff to help people plan funerals in advance. Parents and children can come together for the planning meeting and ensure everyone is on the same page. This service is typically provided by the funeral home at no charge and can provide peace of mind for the whole family. www.ueckerwitt.com <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Adult children of parents of a certain age frequently find themselves caught off guard by parents who want to share their do’s and don’ts about their funeral service. It’s just natural to want to share thoughts on one’s final wishes. Most families appreciate the guidance. However, something this important really should be written and on file at the funeral home. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Consistency is crucial. A series of “in the moment” comments to various children at different times, almost always leads to each child having at least a slightly different page at a time when they really need to work together. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Those off hand missives are very frequently made without consideration of the mourners. Telling children, you don’t want to be viewed after death may mean that a dear granddaughter who lives far away misses out on the opportunity to say “good-bye” in a way that would have helped her. So, before telling your children what you would like for your funeral service consider asking them what they would like to do for you. It’s also for the family that is left behind. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Enlisting the help of a funeral director or advance planner is very helpful and not at all difficult. Nearly all funeral homes have dedicated staff to help people plan funerals in advance. Parents and children can come together for the planning meeting and ensure everyone is on the same page. This service is typically provided by the funeral home at no charge and can provide peace of mind for the whole family. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/when-i-die-i-just-want-you-to- Pre-Planning thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/how-to-thank-a-veteran Three hundred and sixty five days a year, twenty-four hours a day, rain or shine, hot or cold, from the year 1776 to present day, they’re serving our country.  They are our veterans and November 11th is the official day that we honor and thank them each year. So what can you do to show your appreciation?  Here are a few ideas: Attend a parade or remembrance event held in your community Brush up on your patriotic etiquette Teach your children things such as when to stand for the American flag or what to do during the playing of our National Anthem Visit the gravesite of a veteran Hang a flag in your yard Support a veteran-owned business Hire a veteran or the spouse of a veteran Visit a veterans hospital Say thank you to a veteran and his or her family Did you know you can even hold a “Care Package Party”? Here’s how: Invite friends to bring items for those serving away from home. You can contact the US Post Office for help with packaging supplies for military care packages. Some items you could send: Foot care products Cotton socks Flavorings for water iTunes gift card Snacks Hand written notes expressing your thanks Everyone is busy and on Veteran’s Day we’ll be inundated with advertising. It will be easy to see November 11th just as another great sale day…but it is so much more. Perhaps the most important thing you could do is ask a veteran you know to tell you about their experience and then listen. Just really listen. www.ueckerwitt.com <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Three hundred and sixty five days a year, twenty-four hours a day, rain or shine, hot or cold, from the year 1776 to present day, they’re serving our country.  They are our veterans and November 11th is the official day that we honor and thank them each year. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> So what can you do to show your appreciation?  Here are a few ideas: </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Did you know you can even hold a “Care Package Party”? Here’s how: </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Everyone is busy and on Veteran’s Day we’ll be inundated with advertising. It will be easy to see November 11th just as another great sale day…but it is so much more. Perhaps the most important thing you could do is ask a veteran you know to tell you about their experience and then listen. Just really listen. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/how-to-thank-a-veteran Holiday thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/should-i-go-to-the-funeral Why should you attend a funeral? The presence of family and friends at the funeral is appreciated. We gather to acknowledge a life that was lived. We gather to comfort those for whom life has just been forever changed by the death of someone they loved. If you care for one or more of the survivors, you should attend the funeral (even if you did not know the person who died). Your friend will appreciate your presence. Being there shows that you acknowledge that your friend’s life has changed in some way. Your presence shows your support. If you knew the person who died but do not know their family, you should attend the funeral. Your presence demonstrates your respect for human life in general and the life of the person who died in particular. Perhaps you worked with the person who died. It is comforting for the surviving family to know the person they loved was also appreciated at work. If you are hesitating because you are unfamiliar with the person’s faith and fear you will embarrass yourself or feel like a fish out of water, go anyway. You will be fine. You can prepare a little in advance by looking for some information online about the funeral customs of the family’s faith. When should you stay home? Anytime you are going to a funeral and you know it will make one or more members of the immediate family uncomfortable, perhaps you shouldn’t go. If going is more about you and less about the deceased or the surviving family, don’t go. A funeral is not a place to prove a point. www.ueckerwitt.com <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Why should you attend a funeral? The presence of family and friends at the funeral is appreciated. We gather to acknowledge a life that was lived. We gather to comfort those for whom life has just been forever changed by the death of someone they loved. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you care for one or more of the survivors, you should attend the funeral (even if you did not know the person who died). Your friend will appreciate your presence. Being there shows that you acknowledge that your friend’s life has changed in some way. Your presence shows your support. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you knew the person who died but do not know their family, you should attend the funeral. Your presence demonstrates your respect for human life in general and the life of the person who died in particular. Perhaps you worked with the person who died. It is comforting for the surviving family to know the person they loved was also appreciated at work. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you are hesitating because you are unfamiliar with the person’s faith and fear you will embarrass yourself or feel like a fish out of water, go anyway. You will be fine. You can prepare a little in advance by looking for some information online about the funeral customs of the family’s faith. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> When should you stay home? Anytime you are going to a funeral and you know it will make one or more members of the immediate family uncomfortable, perhaps you shouldn’t go. If going is more about you and less about the deceased or the surviving family, don’t go. A funeral is not a place to prove a point. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/should-i-go-to-the-funeral Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/dad-died-what-do-i-do-with-the-pills Prescription medication is expensive. Just that fact can be an understandable motivation for some risky business. When my father died, my mother was asking everyone, “Aren’t you on blood pressure medicine?  You take this heart pill don’t you?  What do you take for depression?” Her plan, no waste. My mom will also save four string beans when dinner is over. The beans I can live with, the pills I think we are treading on thin ice. It’s just best to follow the FDA recommendations. In order to keep drugs from falling into the wrong hands (little people, pets, and addicts) the FDA recommends that you dispose of all medication as soon as possible. They suggest three options. Take Back Programs : These are periodic events scheduled in your community for a specified date and time. In addition, some communities have permanent collection sites, you can find the location of permanent collection sites at the FDA website . Disposal in Household Trash: Many medications can be disposed of in the household trash following this process. Mix - the pills with dirt, cat litter, or coffee grounds. Do not crush the pills Seal – the mixture in a plastic bag Throw – the bag in the household trash Scratch – scratch the information on the prescription label off the bottle and discard Flushing down the toilet: FDA recommends that a short list of drugs be immediately flushed. These drugs are dangerously addictive for children and others who have not been prescribed the medication. A complete list of these drugs is posted on the FDA website . www.ueckerwitt.com <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Prescription medication is expensive. Just that fact can be an understandable motivation for some risky business. When my father died, my mother was asking everyone, “Aren’t you on blood pressure medicine?  You take this heart pill don’t you?  What do you take for depression?” Her plan, no waste. My mom will also save four string beans when dinner is over. The beans I can live with, the pills I think we are treading on thin ice. It’s just best to follow the FDA recommendations. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> In order to keep drugs from falling into the wrong hands (little people, pets, and addicts) the FDA recommends that you dispose of all medication as soon as possible. They suggest three options. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <b> Take Back Programs </b> : </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> These are periodic events scheduled in your community for a specified date and time. In addition, some communities have permanent collection sites, you can find the location of permanent collection sites at the <a href="https://www.fda.gov/drugs/disposal-unused-medicines-what-you-should-know/drug-disposal-drug-take-back-locations"> FDA website </a> . </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <b> Disposal in Household Trash: </b> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Many medications can be disposed of in the household trash following this process. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Mix - the pills with dirt, cat litter, or coffee grounds. Do not crush the pills </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Seal – the mixture in a plastic bag </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Throw – the bag in the household trash </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Scratch – scratch the information on the prescription label off the bottle and discard </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <b> Flushing down the toilet: </b> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> FDA recommends that a short list of drugs be immediately flushed. These drugs are dangerously addictive for children and others who have not been prescribed the medication. A complete list of these drugs is posted on the <a href="https://www.fda.gov/drugs/safe-disposal-medicines/disposal-unused-medicines-what-you-should-know"> FDA website </a> . </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/dad-died-what-do-i-do-with-the-pills Grief thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/after-the-funeral-how-are-you <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It’s a question we all hear almost every day. “Hi, how are you?” But it has a different feel when you have recently lost someone you love. It just feels heavier. So how do you deal with that question? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It may be tempting to just sort of brush it off saying something along the lines of, “Oh, I’m fine” or “I’m doing ok.” It’s easy to go back into <em> before your loss </em> mode. But, are you fine? How do you get back to being truly fine? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Consider opening your heart to your closest friends. Let them in a little. The ones who are especially close to you truly do want to help. If you are struggling, say so. Then be specific about what is hard: “I hate eating alone. Sunday evenings are really lonely, I miss going to church with Frank.” Give people a little information that will give them some idea of how they might help. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> As the days, weeks, and months pass and you are still struggling to find peace and normalcy, you might feel like your sadness is becoming a burden to your friends. So, you just clam up. No one wants to feel like a burden. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> First, understand that you are not a burden to your family and friends. It is simply time to change your healing process. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> When confronted with the “how are you” question, consider giving an honest but brief response followed by something positive about your progress. “I still miss Frank terribly, but I have started having Sunday dinner with my son and his family and that really helps.” You might even use this moment to take the bull by the horns and suggest something that you would enjoy doing with your friend. Ask if they would be available for lunch, dinner, or a movie. Take charge of your grief. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If your grief is stealing your gratitude and you really cannot see where you are doing better, try this. First thing, when you wake up in the morning, think about yesterday. What was good? Make a note of just three of your blessings. Maybe you enjoyed a long telephone call with your brother, or you finally made a decent egg for yourself, perhaps you have baby bunnies in your garden. Where were the little moments of gratitude? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you look for little joys, you will find them. Those joys will feed your healing and grow the positives in your world. Don’t be afraid of the joy your life has to offer. Joy does exist after death. Don’t confuse your joy with not caring for your loved one. Make it a tribute to the joy he/she brought to your life. Making a habit of looking for and noting what you are grateful for in your life really can help. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/after-the-funeral-how-are-you Grief,Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/where-should-i-send-my-condolences <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <span> <span> Condolences do matter and timing is important. </span> </span> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <span> </span> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <span> <span> Do not put off contacting your friend to express your sympathy. Options and opportunities may have changes over the decades, but the importance of reaching out to those suffering a loss has not. A call or a written note is always just right. Social media is just fine under some circumstances and a personal visit is lovely. Additionally, many funeral homes have a place on their website to post condolences. This format allows your expression of sympathy to be delivered privately and quickly. </span> </span> <span> <span> </span> </span> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <span> <span> </span> </span> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <span> <span> So, let’s start with the newest trend - technology and social media. It’s so fast and so easy to access. If you are texting a co-worker several times a day about other things, it would seem rude to not mention the loss of her mother. Do use private messaging forms of social media with people you communicate with regularly in this manner. Caution!! Be very careful to not send a public condolence message using social media if your friend has not made an equally public announcement of his or her loss on the same platform. Do follow-up your message with a call or personal note. Finally, do not use electronic messaging if the receiver is not a regular user of tech. </span> </span> <span> <span> </span> </span> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <span> <span> </span> </span> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <span> <span> Hand written notes or cards made for just this purpose should be mailed to the person closest to the deceased or to a personal friend who has experienced a loss. Your personal note should be simple. Thoughts such as you are sorry for their loss, you are thinking of them in this difficult time or they are in your thoughts and prayers are appropriate. If you knew the deceased, you might share a brief story about the person who died and shares your connection. </span> </span> <span> <span> </span> </span> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <span> <span> </span> </span> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <span> <span> Should you make a condolence visit? Oh, my yes! A personal visit is the only way to give a hug.  However, do call ahead. Do keep your visit brief and do focus on the grieving individual. Please, don’t say you know how they feel even if you share a similar experience. There will be a time for sharing later. For now, just let them know you are sorry for their loss. Come as a listener not a problem solver. </span> </span> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> <p> <a href="/"> <span> www.ueckerwitt.com </span> </a> </p> <p> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/where-should-i-send-my-condolences Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/mother-diedhow-long-do-we-keep-her-things <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Separating from a loved one’s belongings is one of the more difficult jobs you will have to do after a death. It is amazing how much is collected over a lifetime. You probably won’t get it done in a day and you will probably shed a few tears. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Ask for help. Accepting and asking for help is harder than you might think. It is hard to turn over the decision of what goes and what stays to someone else. If your offer of help is refused, be understanding. Your mother may need to handle every one of your deceased father’s possessions before anything can go. Give her some time and then offer to help again a little later. Offering to box or bag after items have been sifted through is a huge help. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you are the decision maker, consider providing some guidelines and then letting go. It’s a big job. Some help will be nice. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> First contact your family members to determine what they might be interested in having. Give people some notice and a time limit, “If there is anything that you want from Mom’s wardrobe please come and get it before next week. I am going to sort through then and will be giving things to charity.” </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Second, make it a goal to handle things once. To keep you on track, get boxes, bins or bags and mark them FOR CHARITY, FOR TRASH, TO KEEP.  Keep those boxes moving. At the end of the day take the trash to the trash and the charity to the donation site so that you won’t be tempted to go through them just one more time. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you are thinking about having a sale, think long and hard. People haggle at tag and garage sales. Are you emotionally prepared to dicker over the value of your dad’s favorite tie or his collection of fishing lures? Might it be better to think of his things finding new homes with people who need them? Sales are a lot of work, be kind to yourself, avoid taking on too much. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Procrastination won’t make the task easier. If you cannot take care of the sorting and giving, turn the job over to someone else. If you are a procrastinator, storage units have your name written all over them. Calculate the annual cost. Ask yourself, “What will change between now and next year?” Have a plan. When does the storage end? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Memories are attached to our stuff. You will no doubt take more than a few walks down memory lane. Slow down and enjoy the journey. A life is over, but it’s not forgotten. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/mother-diedhow-long-do-we-keep-her-things Grief thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/celebrating-grads-and-grands <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> According to the <a href="https://nces.ed.gov/"> National Center for Education Statistics </a> , more than three million high school students will graduate this year. There will be parties, balloons, cakes and speeches. Many of these young people will receive the gift of a wonderful little book written at 87 years of age by Dr. Seuss. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <b> <em> Oh, the Places You’ll Go! </em> </b> was the last book to be published during Seuss’s lifetime. It’s about the journey of life and its challenges. It’s inspiring and makes a terrific graduation gift and is sure to be appreciated by any graduating senior…especially when a check, gift card, or tickets to Europe are stuck inside. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> But what about the other end of life. Shouldn’t there be another book… Oh, the Places You Have Been? Why, do people feel diminished as they age? Why are we taking less and less time to wrap up a life and tie it with a pretty ribbon? Why do we say, “No fuss needed for me, no funeral needed.”? Surely six, seven, or even nine decades of life are worth celebrating. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> At the end of every life shouldn’t there be a look back? What about the choices that were made, the work that was done, the people encountered, the things that were learned? What about all that? Shouldn’t just sticking with it through all the ups and the downs of life merit a celebration of some kind? As Seuss advises, “With brains in your head and shoes full of feet, you can steer yourself in any direction you choose.” </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> There have to be stories. This is the generation that began with a party line telephone and is ending up with telephone watches that take pictures and tell you how many steps you’ve taken in a day! There have to be stories. These people served in Vietnam, listened to the Beatles, watched a man land on the moon. They had black and white TV that only sent a signal a few hours a day and they walked to the TV to change channels! There have to be stories. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Now is the time. Capture those stories. Ask your parent(s) about their life before you. Ask the same of grandparents. Ask about their hopes and dreams. What surprised them? What was fun and what was hard? Capture the stories and the life lessons. Prepare to celebrate the grands as well as the grads. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/celebrating-grads-and-grands Articles thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/moving-after-a-spouse-dies <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> One of the realities of losing a spouse or a parent is the impact that event has on living arrangements. Are we living in the “right” place? Is the house too big? Is it too far away from family? Will my surviving parent be safe where they live? Should I move to be closer to mom or should mom move closer to me? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> These are tough questions and they come at a time when emotions are running so very high. They also come at a time when income has likely decreased, perhaps requiring a change be made sooner rather than later. Conventional wisdom says wait at least a year before you make any big changes to your living situation, but the reality is waiting a year may not be financially possible. If you are able to slow down and let the dust settle a bit, that is no small blessing. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Really, it all boils down to three considerations: happiness, safety, and finances. The surviving spouse needs to be in a place that not only works financially, but also is safe and happy. You are going to need to use both your rational mind and your emotions if you are to make the best decision. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> On the face of it, the financial consideration seems to be the trump card. After all, you have to be able to afford where you live. However, it is not always that simple.  When the happiest place is affordable but not the most frugal choice, then maybe happy trumps financially smart? Decisions based on both emotion and rational thought are usually the best decisions. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> That emotional happiness factor also impacts the safety issue. Perhaps the safest living arrangement isn’t going to be a happy situation?  In that case, put your rational mind to work on finding a way to make the happy place safer. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> You have to find the best fit answer for your family. As you are weighing those three considerations, resist the temptation to base the decision on what you think may happen or will happen down the road. Consider the wisdom of making decisions in the present, based on present circumstances. So, if dad is safe, happy and can afford to stay in his present home maybe no change is necessary … for now. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/moving-after-a-spouse-dies Grief thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/cremation-society-or-funeral-home <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Cremation, like electric cars and cell phones is here to stay. For some people cremation is part of their religious practice. For other people, cremation just feels right for them.  The big question is who should help you with your cremation, a society or a funeral director? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Cremation Societies specialize in what is called a direct cremation. Direct cremation means the society will remove the deceased from the place of death and take the body directly to their crematory where the cremation process will take place. Following cremation, the ashes are returned to the family in a bag or box. It’s all pretty quick. The cost is quite low for direct cremation. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> But something is missing. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> How do we feel when a family member dies? What helps? Death is a loss. It is hard to describe how loss feels, but it is something like a void, a vacuum, or an energy shift.  You see something close when you watch victims of the California wild fires or a tornado on television. You see that dazed and stunned look on their faces. That is loss.  There they stand looking at a pile of rubble that was their home … and now it is gone.  That look is about loss of a building. Loss of a person, someone you love, is so much more. It hurts your heart. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Funeral directors are trained and specialize in taking care of the deceased AND in taking care of the family of the deceased. They know people need more. They are going to encourage you to slow down a little and give the family a little time for the reality of the loss to sink in. Give a little time for the family to consider what they need to do to begin to heal. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Funeral directors specialize in helping families put together a gathering to honor the one who died. They know that being with those you love and who love you helps. They know words, as a part of a religious, spiritual, or life celebration ceremony help. Funerals are the funeral director’s specialty. They have done this many times with many families.  Funeral directors are the experts. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Of course, the funeral home will help you with a direct cremation if that is what your family prefers. To be fair, cremation societies will also add on some service options at the family’s request. As you add services the cost increases. It is important to look for value. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The funeral home is staffed by licensed trained funeral directors and serves families from a clean, company ready facility with plenty of parking and is a good value. Do your homework. Where will cremation take place? If your family wants service where will the service take place? If you add service and products what is the difference in price?  How important is cost over expertise? Share your budget with the funeral director at your funeral home. Don’t assume you need to sacrifice ceremony for savings. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/cremation-society-or-funeral-home Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/when-the-soul-leaves-the-body-reacting-to-a-sudden-unexpected-death <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Sometimes, if you are open to it, you can receive amazing information in the most unlikely ways.  For example, there was a driver who was taking a woman to the airport when she received the news that a family member had died. The woman gasped and her driver, who was from another culture, asked if she was okay. Normally she would just say “I am fine” because she is a private person. On this particular occasion, however, she shared her situation with this driver. Upon hearing the news, this gentleman shared his cultural belief and at that moment…it was exactly what she needed to hear. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> He said, “When the soul leaves the body, it can take a long time or it can happen very quickly. No matter how, it is painful. It is painful for the one who is dying, and it is painful for those who are left behind. The separation of the soul from the body, that is the ending of life. That is death. No matter how it happens, there is pain.” </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> When death is sudden and totally unexpected, you may find that you and your family members react in ways that seem strange and unfamiliar. You get the call. Something terrible has happened. Someone has died. You are stunned. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> As you begin to process the news, you may experience a strong pull to see where it happened. This is a normal response. Before you can accept the reality of the death you may have to see. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Seeing a loved one after their passing is not an easy thing to do, but it is necessary for many. If you feel you need to see, honor your need. The funeral director understands this need and can help you. Even if your mother always said, “I don’t want people to see me after I die”, she probably didn’t understand back then how her passing would affect you now. Talk to the funeral director and he or she will help you honor your mother’s wishes and satisfy your need as well. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> In addition to accepting the reality that a death has occurred, those who experience a sudden loss also have the burden of working out how the death happened and why it happened. Many questions will go through their mind: </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> This is a normal. Be patient with your family members as each of you must work through this in your own personal way. When the soul leaves the body it is always painful, but when it happens suddenly and unexpectedly, there are additional burdens to work through. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/when-the-soul-leaves-the-body-reacting-to-a-sudden-unexpected-death Grief thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/preserving-the-family-relationship-while-planning-a-funeral <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> You are with someone with whom you share some history. Maybe it’s a brother, sister, or a childhood friend. You are talking about an event from the “old days” and you suddenly realize you all remember the event a little differently. Most of us have had this experience. Our relationships work in a similar fashion. The way we love, like the way we remember, is unique to each of us. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> A man’s children know him as Dad. Each child knows and loves a slightly different Dad. His wife knows and loves him in yet a different way. A wife may know fears, strengths, hopes, and dreams children never saw. They all love, but in such different ways. Though not a bad thing, it can add to the stress a family experiences during a death and subsequent funeral planning. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> So how do you preserve your family relationship and plan a funeral that provides comfort for each family member? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Emotions are raw when families are mourning a death. Tread lightly and be kind.  Remember you may want to have Thanksgiving dinner with these people in a few months! </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/preserving-the-family-relationship-while-planning-a-funeral Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/how-to-say-the-right-thing-at-a-funeral First, take a deep breath and relax. We all worry that we’ll say the wrong thing. Second, know that you don’t have to be eloquent. While we wish it were so, you can’t make everything all better with a few words. Here are a few simple ideas to keep in mind to be sure you say the right thing when attending a funeral. Don’t underestimate the power of your presence. It’s important. Just being there says more than you can know. Keep your words simple. “I’m sorry for your loss” may be all that is needed. Share your story. If you have a brief anecdote about how you interacted with the deceased, share it. Knowing how her sister lit up her workplace may just be the most comforting thing a mourner can hear. Use the deceased person’s name. “Mary always made me laugh.” “John had the longest drive, too bad it wasn’t always straight.” “We always knew when Big Bad Byron was in the plant, everyone was on their toes.” “Nobody made better chocolate chip cookies than your mother.” Avoid using common platitudes. Resist the temptation to tell the bereaved how they must feel -- “grateful that he is in a better place,” “relieved that his suffering is over,” “grateful for a long life,” etc. We don’t know how that wife, husband, mother, son, or daughter actually feels. Just say you’re sorry for their loss. Let them tell you how they feel and accept it with a nod or hug. Don’t forget about listening. Listen to understand, not just to hear. Listen to show you care, not to judge. Listen with love, even when you’ve heard the story before. www.ueckerwitt.com <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> First, take a deep breath and relax. We all worry that we’ll say the wrong thing. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Second, know that you don’t have to be eloquent. While we wish it were so, you can’t make everything all better with a few words. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Here are a few simple ideas to keep in mind to be sure you say the right thing when attending a funeral. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <b> Don’t underestimate the power of your presence. </b> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It’s important. Just being there says more than you can know. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <b> Keep your words simple. </b> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> “I’m sorry for your loss” may be all that is needed. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <b> Share your story. </b> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you have a brief anecdote about how you interacted with the deceased, share it. Knowing how her sister lit up her workplace may just be the most comforting thing a mourner can hear. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <b> Use the deceased person’s name. </b> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> “Mary always made me laugh.” “John had the longest drive, too bad it wasn’t always straight.” “We always knew when Big Bad Byron was in the plant, everyone was on their toes.” “Nobody made better chocolate chip cookies than your mother.” </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <b> Avoid using common platitudes. </b> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Resist the temptation to tell the bereaved how they must feel -- “grateful that he is in a better place,” “relieved that his suffering is over,” “grateful for a long life,” etc. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> We don’t know how that wife, husband, mother, son, or daughter actually feels. Just say you’re sorry for their loss. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Let them tell you how they feel and accept it with a nod or hug. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <b> Don’t forget about listening. </b> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Listen to understand, not just to hear. Listen to show you care, not to judge. Listen with love, even when you’ve heard the story before. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/how-to-say-the-right-thing-at-a-funeral Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/preparing-the-eulogy <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Writing and delivering a eulogy can be a daunting task. How do you sum up a life in three to eight minutes? If you are not accustomed to public speaking, the idea of “being on stage” can add to the discomfort. But take heart: what you are going to do is important, but perfection is not required. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Here are a few tips to help you along the way. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Preparation is important and should not be skipped. A eulogy is not something one can just do “on the fly.” Even the most seasoned of writers and speakers perform better when they plan and organize. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Begin by briefly introducing yourself. Share how you are connected to the deceased. If you are representing the family, thank people for coming. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Do your homework. Start with a basic outline of the person’s life. Include where and when they were born. Mention parents and siblings. Include basic information about marriages, children born, education, and work. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The best eulogies capture the essence of the person who died. Include words like “kind,” “loyal,” “hardworking,” and “free spirited.” These are descriptive adjectives that everyone who knew them can relate to as soon as the word is spoken. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> A good way to capture that essence is to interview a few people who knew the deceased well. You will find most friends and family will be more than willing to help you. These interviews are one of the most important parts of your preparation. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Plan to ask the same simple questions with each person you interview. Ask permission to record the interview. When a death has occurred, it is too much to expect that you’ll be operating at peak performance. Being able to go back and listen to your interviews will become important as you begin to put the information you receive from everyone in writing. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Ask open ended questions. How did you know _______? How would you describe ________? What will you remember about ________? Do you have a story to share?  What should I not forget to say about ______? Don’t forget to answer the questions you asked others yourself. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> After you talk to a few friends and family you will probably begin to see the essence of the person you are going to talk about begin to emerge. Include a story that illustrates this essence. Be descriptive. Include humor if it feels natural and comes easily. Don’t try to force humor if it doesn’t feel comfortable to you or because you think there should be something funny included. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Finally, you must say farewell. There needs to be a conclusion. If words do not come to you, borrow words from a poet, a song writer, or scripture. Perhaps the person who died had a favorite such person that you can quote. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Don’t forget to practice. Read the eulogy you have written out loud. Make corrections and read it out loud again. Time yourself and edit if you are going over 10 minutes. Finally, check with others involved in the service regarding the order of the service. If there is more than one eulogist be sure you are not sharing the same story or information. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> When the time comes, speak slowly and distinctly. Most people tend to speed up when they are nervous. If emotion surfaces, stop, take a minute and a deep breath before continuing. You’ll be glad you practiced. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/preparing-the-eulogy Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-to-expect-with-cremation <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Cremation has been around for thousands of years. It is required by some faiths and forbidden by others. Governments, charged with protection of the public health and aesthetic of the community, have laws governing both cremation and burial practices.  One way to view burial and cremation is to look at each as a means to the same end.  Dust to dust. Cremation is quick, and burial is slow. Either one is a legal and acceptable means to the end. Most people understand what burial is about, but questions remain about cremation. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Cremation takes place in a chamber designed specifically for the purpose of reducing human remains to basic elements. This chamber is called a retort, cremator, or cremation chamber. One human body and only one at a time is cremated in the cremator. The body is clothed or shrouded and placed in a container before being placed in the cremation chamber. The container is made of a combustible material. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The cremation process takes from 2 to 3 hours. The time varies based on the size of the body and heat capacity of the cremation chamber. Typically, the chamber reaches between 1500 and 1900 degrees during the cremation process. The body is reduced to bone fragments. After cremation the chamber cools and the contents are swept clean, any metal is collected, and the larger bone fragments are crushed. The finished product is greyish white in color and is similar to the consistency of aquarium gravel. It is coarser than dust or ashes. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> On average, four to six pounds of cremated remains are produced. The height of the individual has more impact on the amount of remains than the weight of the person.   The composition of cremated remains is largely calcium carbonate. There are several options of what to do with remains. It is important, and sadly often overlooked, to have a plan for cremated remains that is acceptable for the family. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Cremated remains can be buried in a cemetery. Many cemeteries allow one cremated family member to be buried in the same grave space along with another family member.  This option is a cost savings since a second burial space is not needed. It also gives family members the benefit of having a location to visit and remember. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Ashes can also be scattered on private property or buried at sea. See <a href="http://www.epa.gov/"> epa.gov </a> for the laws regarding burial at sea. There are also services that will assist a family with carrying out a sea burial. It is always advisable to work through your family funeral home. Your local funeral director will know who to call and who can be trusted to carry out your family member’s wishes. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It is also possible for family members to keep the remains in an urn or in attractive jewelry pieces. The best person to help you sort out all of these decisions and choices is your funeral director or advance funeral planner. Both typically offer consultation at no cost. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-to-expect-with-cremation Articles thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/remembering-a-rabid-football-fan <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Football, the American kind played with a spheroid shaped ball called a pig skin, is the be all end all fall activity for millions of Americans. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Fans purchase large screen televisions just to watch the game. Others set up multiple televisions in their game day viewing rooms. All manner of hats, shirts, blankets, sweaters, jackets, mugs, and glasses in team colors are sold each year. Added to the dollars spent on equipment and tickets to events, it all adds up to $100 billion spent each year by fans. Football fans are mighty in number. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It’s no surprise then when a fan dies and the family is putting together a funeral or memorial service, thoughts turn to how to incorporate the football passion in the service in a tasteful manner. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> This is a great idea. One of the most important benefits of a funeral service is having the opportunity to gather with others who knew and loved this person and reflect on the good times had together. Why not include something he or she enjoyed? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> So, talk to your funeral director. Ask for ideas. There are caskets and urns that are made for fans. A team blanket can be draped over the casket or the person. Don’t forget the music. Ask about having the team song or alma mater played at some point in the service. Consider printing the words to the song in the program so everyone can remember their friend and sing together. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Think beyond the things you can bring in or wear and ask the eulogist to share some of the stories that make you laugh. You know, the time the car was loaded with the entire family and they drove three hours to the game only to realize when they got there the tickets were left on the table at home. Share the story of the fabulous tailgate or the terrible tailgate, freezing in the cold, or getting soaked in the rain, or losing the car in the parking lot. There are bound to be stories. Talk about how much friends and family enjoyed sharing the football passion with the person who died. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It all pulls people closer to the one they loved. Remembering the life, not just the cause of the loss, is the beginning of learning to live with the loss. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/remembering-a-rabid-football-fan Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/making-the-funeral-about-the-one-who-died <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> A “personalized” funeral is not just for the rich and famous. When someone we love dies, we want to remember that person. We want to celebrate the life that was lived. A life story does not have to have a dramatic plot twist or culminate in fame and riches to be worthy of remembrance. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> So, how does one go about putting together a life celebration? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Pictures are a great place to begin. Look for pictures that span their lifetime, show their personality, celebrate their relationships and friends, put them in the context of their work, hobbies, or passions. Most funeral homes now have equipment to create a video that can be shown in a loop on a television or larger screen.    It is also relatively inexpensive to get photographs of those milestone moments made large. Ask your funeral director how these can be displayed at the funeral. They can also direct you to local retailers who will be able to assist with photographs. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Consider integrating pictures with the eulogy. For example, the eulogist might share stories about the childhood years of the person who died while childhood pictures are shown in the background. Don’t be shy about asking the funeral director for what you envision. Maybe you would like two different video tributes. One might showcase family life and one sports, hobbies or special interests. Just ask, because funeral directors want the service to be meaningful for the family and friends. They are there to help you honor your loved one. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Music can also be a great background and can be integrated into the service. Nearly every family has someone who can put together a playlist. Choose musical favorites of the deceased.  There are also many songs that relate to death or loss in every musical genre from country to classical. Be sure to check with your funeral director to make sure the format for the music you would like to use is compatible with the funeral home’s equipment. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> There really is no end to the ways you can express the personality and interests of the person you loved and lost. Talk about your ideas with the key people in your family before you attend the arrangement conference with your funeral director. Then just ask away. Can we bring the dog? Can we bring in some of Mom’s artwork? Can we give everyone a golf ball? Just ask. You might be surprised to find your funeral director has some helpful ideas for a fitting farewell. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/making-the-funeral-about-the-one-who-died Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/the-history-of-veterans-day <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Veterans Day, a national and state holiday, serves as a day for Americans to come together to show their deep respect and appreciation for the military veterans of our country. It is the one day a year when we pause, reflect and show our gratitude to all those who are serving or have ever served in our military. So how did it come to be? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> What we know today as Veterans Day was originally called Armistice Day. On November 11, 2019, we celebrate the 101 ^st anniversary of the armistice that ended World War I. This armistice was signed at the 11 ^th hour on the 11 ^th day in the 11 ^th month of 1918. At the time, we believed World War I was “the war to end all wars”.  One year after the armistice, President Woodrow Wilson proclaimed November 11 ^th as Armistice Day to commemorate the end of World War I. In his address to his “fellow-countrymen” delivered from the White House on November 11, 1919, Woodrow Wilson praised the contribution of the American people and shared hope for the future. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> With splendid forgetfulness of mere personal concerns, we remodeled our industries, concentrated our financial resources, increased our agricultural output, and assembled a great army, so that at the last our power was a decisive factor in the victory. We were able to bring the vast resources, material and moral, of a great and free people to the assistance of our associates in Europe who had suffered and sacrificed without limit in the cause for which we fought. </em> <em> <br/> <br/> Out of this victory there arose new possibilities of political freedom and economic concert. The war showed us the strength of great nations acting together for high purposes, and the victory of arms foretells the enduring conquests, which can be made in peace when nations act justly and in furtherance of the common interests of men. </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> To us in America the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country’s service, and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of nations. </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Of course, lasting peace was not to be. After the Second World War, Alabama veteran Raymond Weeks had the idea to expand Armistice Day to honor all veterans. On May 26, 1954, President Dwight Eisenhower signed into a law a bill presented by Congressman Ed Rees from Kansas establishing Armistice Day as a national holiday eight years after Weeks began celebrating Armistice Day for all veterans. Congress amended the bill on June 1, 1954, replacing "Armistice" with "Veterans," and it has been known as Veterans Day since. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Memorial Day honors those who died in service, Armed Services Day honors those who currently serve. Veterans Day honors ALL veterans. Thank a Veteran on November 11 ^th and be very proud and happy to go to bed tonight in the United States of America. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/the-history-of-veterans-day Holiday thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/top-three-priorities-for-those-who-are-grieving When a person is in the midst of grief, taking care of themselves can get lost in the mayhem. There really are so many things to do. Eating well, exercise, and even sleep just don’t seem that important. The reality is that grief takes a lot of energy. Self-care might just be the most important item on the agenda. If you know someone who is grieving, feed them. Make it easy. Take them something to eat. The effort of ordering a meal or getting dressed to go out to eat can be overwhelming to a person who is mourning a loss. If you are grieving, buy a few easy-to-prepare foods. Eggs and soup can be a good start. Don’t overlook the freezer section. Buy an apple. Microwave popcorn is not a meal! Exercise doesn’t always need to involve weights, running, or even sweat. Just take a walk. Start small. Try ten minutes the first few days and then see if that can be increased each week. Set your sights on a 30 minute walk each day. The experts tell us we need seven to eight hours of sleep a night. They suggest going to bed at a regular time and getting up at a regular time. Set the alarm and watch those naps. It is tempting to use sleep to avoid those sad feelings. Too much sleep is no better than too little sleep. Try turning down the thermostat at night. Those in the know tell us 65 to 68 degrees is the optimal temp for sleep. Paying attention to these three basics, eating well, exercise, and sleep will help support a person who is involved in the difficult task of grieving. www.ueckerwitt.com <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> When a person is in the midst of grief, taking care of themselves can get lost in the mayhem. There really are so many things to do. Eating well, exercise, and even sleep just don’t seem that important. The reality is that grief takes a lot of energy. Self-care might just be the most important item on the agenda. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you know someone who is grieving, feed them. Make it easy. Take them something to eat. The effort of ordering a meal or getting dressed to go out to eat can be overwhelming to a person who is mourning a loss. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you are grieving, buy a few easy-to-prepare foods. Eggs and soup can be a good start. Don’t overlook the freezer section. Buy an apple. Microwave popcorn is not a meal! </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Exercise doesn’t always need to involve weights, running, or even sweat. Just take a walk. Start small. Try ten minutes the first few days and then see if that can be increased each week. Set your sights on a 30 minute walk each day. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The experts tell us we need seven to eight hours of sleep a night. They suggest going to bed at a regular time and getting up at a regular time. Set the alarm and watch those naps. It is tempting to use sleep to avoid those sad feelings. Too much sleep is no better than too little sleep. Try turning down the thermostat at night. Those in the know tell us 65 to 68 degrees is the optimal temp for sleep. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Paying attention to these three basics, eating well, exercise, and sleep will help support a person who is involved in the difficult task of grieving. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/top-three-priorities-for-those-who-are-grieving Grief thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/how-should-i-prepare-for-my-funeral-preplanning-meeting <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> First, relax. Talking about your funeral plans might make you a little uncomfortable at first but making a plan doesn’t mean you will be using it anytime soon. Your funeral director or advance planner will guide you through the process. Most people get very comfortable in just a few minutes. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Do consider bringing someone with you. Be aware that children are often reluctant to come. They don’t want to think about losing you. Insist they come anyway. They will thank you later. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Do allow enough time. Typically, you will need an hour or two to get the most from your preplanning appointment. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Make a list of your questions. You may be undecided about some things. That’s fine.  This meeting is a good place to get the information you will need. Just ask. Why should I have a gathering? Is it important for my family to see my body? If I am cremated what are my options for a service? What are the benefits of paying in advance? If I pay in advance can I make payments? Any question you have is a good question. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Probably the most important thing you can do to prepare for your meeting is simply to think about your family and your friends. Who are your people? Brothers, sisters, children, grandchildren, the friends you have known forever and the friends you see every day. Picture them. Think about them. What will they remember about you?  What kind of a service will bring them comfort? Will they want to share stories? Will music be important? Will a spiritual component be a valuable part of your service? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Become aware that not everyone in your circle may find comfort in the same way. Tell your planner about the needs of your family and friends. Let the funeral professional help you find the right fit for your people. The funeral is for the survivors, so think about them. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> People smile, they even laugh at these meetings. What you are about to do is a final gift for those you love. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/how-should-i-prepare-for-my-funeral-preplanning-meeting Pre-Planning thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/trouble-sleeping-after-a-loss <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> “The darkest hour is just before dawn,” or “Things will look better in the morning,” both are old sayings that could be interpreted in different ways. One theory holds those sayings refer to “night dreads”. Night dreads are when sleep is interrupted abruptly with anxious feelings of dread. You wake after just a few hours of sleep when it’s too early to begin your day. The mind is racing in a negative direction swamped by feelings of alarm. These feelings that seem overwhelming at 3 a.m. magically evaporate when the sun comes up and the day begins for real. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Waking in the night with these negative thoughts seems to happen more often as we age and our sleep patterns change. They also happen more often during periods of stress. So, if you are a caregiver for a family member or have experienced a death in your family you may be familiar with episodes of “night dreads”. If that is the case, you know it can be difficult to get back to sleep and feel rested for the day ahead. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> When you wake with your heart pounding and your brain racing there are a few things you can try to undo the interruption. First, uncoil, change your position in the bed. Make sure your head and neck are well supported. Slow your breathing and actively work on directing your thoughts in another direction. Be very mindful about your breathing. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Softly close your eyes and draw your awareness to what you see as you slowly breathe in and out. At first, you may think you see nothing. But, be patient. Just keep breathing slowly and looking. In a little while you will begin to see patterns of light and dark. Stay focused on the patterns. Just watch them drift and move. Concentrate on your breath and the patterns. The negative thoughts will be crowded out and you will drift off to sleep. The key is not to get wrapped up in the negative spiral where one negative thought or fear connects to the next and the merry-go-round of thought is going faster and faster until you have no reasonable hope of sleep. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If mindful breathing doesn’t work for you, try telling yourself a bedtime story. Be very colorful and descriptive as you develop your story over the details. What are the golfers wearing? Ball caps or visors, short sleeve shirts or sweaters, is the wind blowing, are the trees green or in fall color? How does the ball sound when it is struck by the club? The details are what will take your mind to a simpler, calmer place. Be very descriptive in your thoughts. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If these techniques don’t help and your night dreads are becoming more frequent or they do not evaporate when the sun comes up, talk to your doctor. Sometimes there are physical connections to night dreads and the doctor can help. A good night’s sleep is important for health and well-being. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/trouble-sleeping-after-a-loss Grief thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/its-not-really-a-funeral-plan-if-its-not-at-the-funeral-home <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Can I just say that funerals stick in the mind of a loved one years after a death? It’s important that you get it right <b> . </b> Please don’t put your wishes in the drawer with the rest of your files. Oh, and that thing where you tell the kids what you want. That’s not the best either. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Here’s what often happens: </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> The plan in the file - </em> It might be part of the estate plan or stuck in with the financial advisor’s paperwork, or just written on some paper. It is highly likely that it will not be found until well after the funeral is over. In the hours following a death there are literally more than a hundred things to do. Trust me, I’ve seen the lists. People count this stuff. I know because I’ve just been through it myself. There is a lot to do over a short period of time when someone dies. Your family will not be going through the files. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> They will not know you wanted to wear your blue dress and that you wanted <em> The Wind Beneath My Wings </em> sung at your funeral. They just won’t. So, imagine the anguish when they find your “plan” two weeks after the funeral service is over. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Imagine how they are going to feel when they realize they buried you in the wrong dress and sang the wrong song. Terrible. That’s how they will feel.  Sadly, they’ll feel that way for a very long time. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> You’ve told your kids what you want - </em> Seems like it will be ok, but maybe not.  My friend Martha and her two sisters have not been on speaking terms since their mother died. Seems everyone heard something different from Mom regarding what she wanted. The twins heard she didn’t care “do what you want”.  So, when mom died visiting one of them a Southern Baptist service was arranged. That service stunned Martha who was raised Catholic and heard mom say she wanted “a service just like the one we did for your dad.” </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Call the funeral home, make an appointment and get everything written down and on file at the funeral home. It’s easy and there is not charge for the appointment. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/its-not-really-a-funeral-plan-if-its-not-at-the-funeral-home Pre-Planning,Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/embalming--what-funeral-directors-do <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> What is embalming? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Embalming is the art of slowing the decomposition of the human body. The embalming process is carried out in a clean environment, and proceeds in a fashion similar to medical procedures. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> First, the body is washed and sanitized, and the limbs are massaged to remove stiffness. The facial features are then set, eyes closed, and jaw fixed in a pleasant expression. The body’s own arterial system is used to replace blood with embalming fluid. The abdominal cavity is drained of fluid and gas and embalming fluid is injected into the organs. Once the body is prepared, the hair is washed and arranged, cosmetics are applied, and the body is dressed. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Why embalm? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> We embalm because we are humans and it is human nature to want to see the person who died. “Seeing is believing” is often said and certainly true, especially when death is sudden or unexpected. We humans have a basic need to see in order to accept the reality of the death. Most people want and need time for a final goodbye. Embalming improves that experience and makes the body presentable. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Have we always embalmed? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Evidence has been found that as long ago as 5000 to 6000 BC, the Chinchorro culture of Chile and Peru practiced embalming. Ancient Egyptians believed the soul would return to the body, but only if it could recognize the body it belonged to. They developed complex rites and rituals surrounding mummification, a form of embalming. Embalming was also practiced by Aztec, Mayan, Ethiopian and Tibetan cultures. Xin Zhui, a Chinese noble woman who died 160 BC, was meticulously embalmed and her body is still recognizable today. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Embalming in America began during the Civil War. Hundreds of thousands of men were dying far from home and their families. Dr. Thomas Holmes was commissioned by the Army Medical Corp to embalm the bodies of Union officers so they could be returned home for their wives and mothers to gaze upon them one last time. Holmes embalmed more than 4,000 soldiers during the Civil War. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Is embalming required by law? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> No law requires a body to be embalmed. However, most funeral homes require embalming with some service options. Your funeral director will be pleased to discuss all options with you. Today, embalming is standard practice in Canada and the United States. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/embalming--what-funeral-directors-do Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/make-family-the-foundation-for-funeral-planning <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> There are two ways to take care of funeral planning: 1) you can plan your own funeral in advance or 2) your survivors can plan your funeral for you after your death. Regardless of when it is planned, or who plans the funeral, the planning needs to start with your family. Your family should be the foundation for funeral planning. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> After all, the funeral is not really for the deceased…it is for those who survive. We show respect for all human life in the manner in which we care for the body that housed the soul or spirit of our loved one. Respect and dignity for the body is important. The funeral helps those of us who survive by changing our focus from the cause of the death to the life that was lived. The funeral is the beginning of our grieving process and that is why funerals are so important. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you are planning in advance for your own final remembrance, begin by thinking of those who love you. Your spouse, your children, your grandchildren, your friends and even your co-workers, what will they remember? What will make them smile? What will comfort them? What will they need? When they think of you what will come to mind? How is faith a part of their lives? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you are planning a funeral for a deceased family member, involve the children, grandchildren and even close friends in the process. Ask them how they remember their friend or relative. Remember, we have all had a unique relationship with the deceased, so what you want to remember may be different from what your brother remembers. Ask your funeral director for ideas so they can help you capture and express the unique personality of your family member in the service plan. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> For many years funeral planning started with a different set of questions. It started with questions about the faith. <em> What church did your mother belong to? </em> It followed with questions about the decedent’s wishes. <em> What do you think your dad would want? </em> These are still good valid questions but basing the entire funeral plan on only these aspects may not touch every family member. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Mother may have preferred that no one see her after death, but if you, her daughter, need to see her, speak up. If you don’t share your brother’s faith and you need to hear a eulogy that is all about his life or see pictures that bring back your time growing up together, speak up. The imprint of the funeral sticks with the surviving family. It is literally the last memory we carry of someone we loved. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/make-family-the-foundation-for-funeral-planning Pre-Planning thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/get-your-family-involved-in-funeral-planning When death is near or has just occurred, there are so many things to do and yet there is nothing you can do. You feel helpless. You can’t make the person well or bring them back.  But you know you will, very soon, need to make many decisions about the service, the final resting place, the music, food, flowers, donations, clothing and much more. Your mind is racing and oddly enough, at the same time, at a complete standstill. On one hand it feels like it is too soon to do anything. You’re just not ready. But at the same time, you feel the weight of all that is coming. This is stress. It is hard. If you can, reach out to your family and friends and let them help you. Have your son or daughter get the older grandchildren involved in pulling together pictures and music. They are really good at this stuff. Going through the pictures brings back happy memories and it’s one of the most therapeutic chores that comes with funeral preparation. Let them do something that will help them - they are dealing with this loss too. If would you would like family and friends to donate to a charity, put someone in charge of looking into that. Have your daughter-in-law pull together a few clothing choices for your final selection. Send your son-in-law to the cemetery or have him get the cars washed. You may want to delegate the task of writing the eulogy and obituary. Give someone the job of gathering information for the funeral luncheon or brunch. Spread the work around. Let go, embrace help and give them something to do. You’ll feel better that things are getting done and they’ll feel better because they are involved and helping. www.ueckerwitt.com <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> When death is near or has just occurred, there are so many things to do and yet there is nothing you can do. You feel helpless. You can’t make the person well or bring them back.  But you know you will, very soon, need to make many decisions about the service, the final resting place, the music, food, flowers, donations, clothing and much more. Your mind is racing and oddly enough, at the same time, at a complete standstill. On one hand it feels like it is too soon to do anything. You’re just not ready. But at the same time, you feel the weight of all that is coming. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> This is stress. It is hard. If you can, reach out to your family and friends and let them help you. Have your son or daughter get the older grandchildren involved in pulling together pictures and music. They are really good at this stuff. Going through the pictures brings back happy memories and it’s one of the most therapeutic chores that comes with funeral preparation. Let them do something that will help them - they are dealing with this loss too. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If would you would like family and friends to donate to a charity, put someone in charge of looking into that. Have your daughter-in-law pull together a few clothing choices for your final selection. Send your son-in-law to the cemetery or have him get the cars washed. You may want to delegate the task of writing the eulogy and obituary. Give someone the job of gathering information for the funeral luncheon or brunch. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Spread the work around. Let go, embrace help and give them something to do. You’ll feel better that things are getting done and they’ll feel better because they are involved and helping. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/get-your-family-involved-in-funeral-planning Pre-Planning thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/choosing-music-for-a-funeral Should we play music at the funeral? What music can we play at the funeral? If it is given some thought, music can say everything about a loved one. Too often the power of including music as a part of a funeral service is overlooked. There is a lot to think about when planning a funeral so it is easy to see how music can get lost. There are many ways music can be woven into the service. It can be played as people arrive or depart. Music can accompany the presentation of pictures and it can be played at the graveside. Music can have a little tiny part in the service or have a bigger role. Almost everyone has “their song” or a band they grew up listening to. A surprising number of folks have musical talent. Maybe they played an instrument or sang in the choir. The music that is played at a funeral can help tell the life story. If as a child, you were forced to endure Frank Sinatra on any road trip you took with your parents, why not include a little Sinatra in their funeral service? When selecting music for a funeral think more about the person who died and the music they listened to, and less about finding appropriate funeral music. The music you select does not need to be about loss, it just needs to remind folks of the person they loved. The music will mean more to those attending the funeral when the link to the person they loved is clear. If that musical talent trickled down to the next generation, ask a grandchild or child to sing or play at some point during the service. Not sure about what music mom really liked? Check out her records, CD collection, or playlist. You will likely find what you need. Talk to your funeral director, funeral celebrant, or clergy person to help you determine when and where to use music. www.ueckerwitt.com <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Should we play music at the funeral? What music can we play at the funeral? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If it is given some thought, music can say everything about a loved one. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Too often the power of including music as a part of a funeral service is overlooked. There is a lot to think about when planning a funeral so it is easy to see how music can get lost. There are many ways music can be woven into the service. It can be played as people arrive or depart. Music can accompany the presentation of pictures and it can be played at the graveside. Music can have a little tiny part in the service or have a bigger role. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Almost everyone has “their song” or a band they grew up listening to. A surprising number of folks have musical talent. Maybe they played an instrument or sang in the choir. The music that is played at a funeral can help tell the life story. If as a child, you were forced to endure Frank Sinatra on any road trip you took with your parents, why not include a little Sinatra in their funeral service? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> When selecting music for a funeral think more about the person who died and the music they listened to, and less about finding appropriate funeral music. The music you select does not need to be about loss, it just needs to remind folks of the person they loved. The music will mean more to those attending the funeral when the link to the person they loved is clear. If that musical talent trickled down to the next generation, ask a grandchild or child to sing or play at some point during the service. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Not sure about what music mom really liked? Check out her records, CD collection, or playlist. You will likely find what you need. Talk to your funeral director, funeral celebrant, or clergy person to help you determine when and where to use music. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/choosing-music-for-a-funeral Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/why-plan-your-funeral-in-advance <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <em> The story below illustrates the benefits of preplanning your funeral. Also known as an “advance funeral plan”, “preneed”, or a “preplanned funeral”, it is one of the few things in life where you can pay today’s prices for a product and service you may not need for many years down the road, thus saving you money. </em> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> We buried my dad last week. My dad’s funeral would have been just a little more than $8,000 not counting the luncheon or cemetery space. However, thanks to his pre-need funeral plan that he prepared 18 years ago at the funeral home, we got it for $5,000 and some change. Saving money wasn’t necessarily what motivated him to make the plan in advance. But, let me tell you, my mom was pretty pleased to know she didn't have to write that check. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Now, I should clarify something here. My mom is more than okay financially. Paying, even the full $8,000, for the funeral would not have been a financial issue. It was an emotional thing. She knew the death of my dad was going to change her life. She just didn’t know how it would change. So, everything, every action and especially spending money, increased her anxiety. We didn’t need that. Thank you, dad, for taking care of the plan and its cost well before it was needed. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> What motivated my father to pre-plan was the fact we are a blended family. It’s not the we don’t all get along, we do (most of the time). But, we don’t all have the same taste. My sister, his oldest daughter, likes the earth tones. Our mom, his wife, on the other hand, likes the jewel tones. My dad picked a black casket and even said he wanted to be buried in his navy suit. Seems like small stuff, but it probably saved us all some angst. There was no fuss, no brown suit and no hurt feelings. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If my dad would have asked us 18 years ago if he should pre-plan and pre-pay for his funeral, I feel certain all five of us would have said, “Don’t worry about that. We can take care of it when we have to.” I am so grateful that he did not ask and that he did not think just about the money portion of an advance funeral plan. Dad, thank you for being smarter than us and knowing that we would need your emotional support even in death. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/why-plan-your-funeral-in-advance Pre-Planning thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/the-best-insurance-purchase-you-will-ever-make The storm passes and we are once again caught up in our love/hate relationship with insurance. Typically, we pay and pay and then we pray we don’t ever need to file a claim. No one wants to have their house burn down or blow away. But, it is also hard to write that check every month. Most folks do so because they are afraid not to. However, there is one kind of insurance you will absolutely use. You’ll get more than you paid in, and you don’t have to pay endlessly. Funeral insurance, not to be confused with final expense insurance, is the rare insurance product designed to cover a cost that you absolutely will incur. We all die in the end. So, how does it work? Funeral insurance is sold through your funeral home. The amount of the insurance matches the cost of your funeral in today’s dollars. It can be paid in one payment and you are done. Or, you can pay over three to 20 years and be covered for the whole cost of your funeral while you pay. It’s easy to find out more. Just call the funeral home and ask to speak to someone in the advance planning department. You will want to set aside one to two hours for your meeting with the advance planner. You will have questions. Remember to ask how funeral insurance is different from final expense insurance. www.ueckerwitt.com <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The storm passes and we are once again caught up in our love/hate relationship with insurance. Typically, we pay and pay and then we pray we don’t ever need to file a claim. No one wants to have their house burn down or blow away. But, it is also hard to write that check every month. Most folks do so because they are afraid not to. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> However, there is one kind of insurance you will absolutely use. You’ll get more than you paid in, and you don’t have to pay endlessly. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Funeral insurance, not to be confused with final expense insurance, is the rare insurance product designed to cover a cost that you absolutely will incur. We all die in the end. So, how does it work? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Funeral insurance is sold through your funeral home. The amount of the insurance matches the cost of your funeral in today’s dollars. It can be paid in one payment and you are done. Or, you can pay over three to 20 years and be covered for the whole cost of your funeral while you pay. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It’s easy to find out more. Just call the funeral home and ask to speak to someone in the advance planning department. You will want to set aside one to two hours for your meeting with the advance planner. You will have questions. Remember to ask how funeral insurance is different from final expense insurance. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/the-best-insurance-purchase-you-will-ever-make Pre-Planning thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/five-tips-to-help-you-stop-procrastinating-about-planning-your-funeral <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> I’ll get this done … before my birthday, before we travel, before school starts, or taxes are due. It doesn’t matter when, just set a target. It only matters that you do have a deadline, especially if you are a habitual procrastinator. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Something made you realize you wanted to get your funeral plan in place. Maybe you had to plan a funeral for someone you cared about? Or, perhaps, you have a family dynamic that makes you see the value of leaving instruction?  Maybe you saw a friend struggle when their spouse died? Whatever it was, write it out, be sure to state your why in positive terms. Instead of “I should,” or, “I need to” tap into that deep motivation. “I want to make my passing is as easy as possible for my wife, daughter, husband.” Post your motivation/why on your fridge. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Funeral homes have a funeral professional who can help you. Make an appointment. Put it on the calendar and sit back and relax. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Share your good news with someone. Tell them when, where, and why you are going to plan your funeral. Maybe ask them to go with you to the appointment if that feels right to you. At the very least ask them to hold you accountable by checking in the day after your planning session to see how it all went. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> As the deadline you set or the date of the appointment you made draws near dismiss those second thoughts. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> We are all grapes becoming raisins there is no getting around it, and it’s not sad.  Raisins are more resilient than grapes and they are sweeter too! </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/five-tips-to-help-you-stop-procrastinating-about-planning-your-funeral Pre-Planning thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/finding-your-joy <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Even months after the funeral it’s not uncommon to feel just not exactly right. We all lose our way from time to time. Things happen and we can’t find our JOY. It’s not really so much gone, as it is misplaced. Life feels dull and the days seem to drag.  No matter what the circumstances, if you look for it, you can find your own personal JOY again. However, you will have to work a bit to find it and reconnect. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> To begin, you must put on your little super power cape and take control. You’ll have to take ownership of your joy. Terrible things happen to us in life. Illness of a loved one, your own illness, even the death of a loved one, there really are a lot of things to be unhappy about. You can, however, experience joy in spite of adversity.  Make a positive decision to take your personal joy into your own hands and get it back! </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Start by connecting with your senses, hearing, touch, smell, taste, and sight.  Take them one by one and dig in. What sounds bring you joy? Maybe it’s the sound of little kids on the playground, or the Beatles, or waves crashing on the beach. Get out a piece of paper and make a list. You may be surprised at how many little tiny things you enjoy related to your senses. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Once you have identified things you like to smell, touch, taste, hear and see, you need to make a plan to get at least one of those things in your life on a daily basis. Turn on the music you love, buy yourself a bouquet of flowers, bake one little chocolate chip cookie every day! What the heck, they make that frozen cookie dough for a reason! Get up early once a week and see the sunrise. Take a walk. Put joy back in your life in its simplest forms. Just go for it. It’s not that hard. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Once your senses are starting to wake up again, start to think about gratitude. What are you thankful for? That time your dad took you fishing, that your grandmother taught you the names of all the birds, fireworks on the Fourth of July or the beauty of a tree. The list is endless, humbling, and there is joy in gratitude. Be grateful. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It’s YOUR JOY. Take it back. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/finding-your-joy Grief thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/who-will-take-care-of-my-funeral-plans <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It is not uncommon for people to ask themselves, “Since I never had any children, who will take care of my funeral plans?” That is all the more reason to preplan your own funeral! </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Each state has laws that say who will “own” your body when you die.  The “owner” is responsible for making and paying for your funeral service and “final disposition”. Final disposition is simply what happens to your body in the end and those choices include burial, cremation or donation. Regardless of disposition, a funeral service with or without a religious component will take place before or after disposition. These are all choices the responsible person will make. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you are to be cremated, there is still the matter of what will be done with your cremated remains. They can be kept by a family member, scattered on private property, buried in a cemetery, or kept in a columbarium niche. Again, this is a choice the responsible person will need to make. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> In most states the responsible person is your spouse. When there is no legal marriage then your parent will be responsible. If your parents are deceased, then your child will take the lead. When there are no children then your eldest sibling will be responsible. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> As you can see, this system only works if you and your family are all of like mind regarding the funeral and you are on the same page regarding faith. Since this is not always the case, you can break the legal chain and designate a person of your choice to carry out your wishes. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It’s not at all difficult or even expensive. You just need to call the funeral home of your choice, ask for an appointment with the person who does the pre-planning. Be sure to tell that individual that you want to designate someone to carry out your wishes. He or she will need to get the proper paperwork for you to complete this task. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> This is also a perfect time to talk to the pre-planning person at the funeral home about your ideas regarding both your funeral service and your final disposition. A funeral professional can help you get everything written down so that your designated person will know just what to do. Since this person will also bear the financial burden for your funeral service and burial or cremation, you will want to talk to the advance funeral planner about eliminating that burden by prefunding your plan. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/who-will-take-care-of-my-funeral-plans Pre-Planning thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-to-expect-at-a-funeral <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <b> </b> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> We’ve all been there. Going to a funeral can be a little daunting, especially if it’s your first or if it’s been awhile since you attended one. Let’s talk a little bit about some of the terms you will hear and what you can expect in general. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> There’s a great deal of variety in funeral service today. The funeral home works with the surviving family to help them choose service options that reflect their lifestyle and belief system. The spouse, parents, or children of the deceased determine the content of the service. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The service typically includes: </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The gathering may be held the evening before the service or the same day as the service. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The religious part of the service may be held in the funeral home chapel or in the family’s place of worship. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> At the conclusion of the service, a procession will usually travel to the graveside where the casketed body will be buried. Cremated remains may be buried, placed in a niche, presented to a family member for keeping, or scattered. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The committal service is often followed by a meal at the church, the funeral home’s celebration center, the family home, or a restaurant. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you are attending a gathering or visitation that takes place before the service, the body may or may not be present. When the body is present in an open casket, attendees will usually approach the casket briefly and silently say a few words of farewell or prayer. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The family may choose to receive their guests informally and casually engage in conversation as they circulate among those attending or they may choose to receive guests in a more formal receiving line. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> If you are attending a memorial service, the body will not be present. A memorial service may take place weeks or even months after the passing and may or may not include the presence of cremated remains. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The family may choose to have a memorial service for a variety of reasons. Some religions require that the body be buried immediately, necessitating service after burial. Some families just need more time to come together. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> How we celebrate a life is often less formal today. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The service may include pictures and music that reflect the lifetime of the deceased. Work or interests of the deceased are often reflected in objects placed in the room or favors shared with attendees. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Attendees may participate by sharing memories of the deceased. A family member or celebrant may also tell the life story in the form of a eulogy. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Funerals are an important part of the grief journey that all families must travel when they lose a family member. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> We attend to support and help the family members transition their thoughts from the cause of death to the life’s legacy. This is so they can begin their long healing process. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Your attendance is appreciated and important. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/what-to-expect-at-a-funeral Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/death-and-taxes <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Death and taxes (seemingly unlikely bed fellows at first glance) are often linked together because they have long been considered unavoidable life events. Some even say they are the <u> only </u> two things that are certain in life. Neither is something people typically look forward to, but they are both events that are anticipated and can be prepared for in advance. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> This is the time of year when folks hope they have prepared well for their taxes. Most people prefer to get a tax refund rather than a tax bill. They hope the calculations have been made correctly and the payments made throughout the year will be enough to offset the sting of a big tax bill come April 15 ^th . </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Hmmm… come to think about it, most folks don’t typically look forward to a big funeral bill at the end of their life either. Few want to leave their family responsible for funeral costs. However, many people don’t plan to offset that expense like they do their taxes. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Even though most people, 62.5 percent according to the <a href="http://www.nfda.org/"> National Funeral Directors Association </a> ’s (NFDA) annual Consumer Awareness and Preferences Study, think it’s important to plan in advance. Only a small percentage (21.4 percent) actually act on their good intentions. Why? They have the perception that prepaying is too costly. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Most people are unaware that prepaying does not mean you must pay in one single payment. Many funeral homes offer specialized programs that allow funerals to be paid in advance, just like taxes, in small, easily-digested bites. Payments can be made on a variety of schedules allowing the consumer the opportunity to choose how long to stretch out payments and how often to make those payments. Individuals can even choose to make one payment per year!  That means a person could choose to put their tax refund toward their funeral.  Taxes could pay for death! </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> What about that roughly one quarter of people who do go beyond thinking they should make a funeral plan and actually make one? How do they feel once they have their plan in place? Ahh, they feel good. Funeral planners often say they see shoulders go down, hear audible sighs of relief and get hugs at the conclusion of a planning session. It’s like cleaning out the junk drawer: something most folks put off, but when they dig in and get it done, it feels so good they just keep going back to sneak a peek at that drawer all in order. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/death-and-taxes Pre-Planning thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/how-much-do-funerals-cost <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> For most of us, one of our first questions when we think we need a funeral home soon is, “How much will it cost?” It’s understandable that everyone wants a simple answer to this question. Unfortunately, there is no one simple answer. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Think of the last time you bought a pair of shoes. It’s not really helpful to know that the average cost of a pair of shoes is $75.00. So, what does an “average” pair of shoes look like? Shoes come in many different sizes, colors and styles. You wouldn’t expect to call the shoe store and ask, “How much does a pair of shoes cost?” Everyone needs some help finding the right fit for his or her feet. You also understand that you’ll need to share more information about the kind of shoe you are seeking before you find the cost. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It’s the same with funerals. The funeral you choose will need to fit your family’s needs as well as your budget. The funeral director will help you with both. You will be pleased to know funeral homes are required to have standardized prices for everything they do. This price list must be printed and available for you. You should also take comfort in knowing there will be a range of prices associated with the choices you will be making. The funeral director wants you to be satisfied with both the service you select and with the costs associated with those services. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> As soon as you are able, it is a good idea to call the funeral home and ask to set up a time to meet with a funeral director to review your options and prices. There should be no cost for this meeting. This is the best way to assure that you understand what is involved with the various services so that you can get the best value for your dollar.  You can schedule this kind of meeting with as many funeral homes as you desire. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> At first, this may seem like a lot of work. The reality is, however, that you’ll obtain far more information by meeting with the funeral director versus searching online or making phone calls. You’ll save time, too. Don’t wait to set up that meeting if you think you’ll need a funeral home soon. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/how-much-do-funerals-cost Funeral Service thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/memorial-day <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> What is the purpose of Memorial Day? Why do we have this holiday? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Of course, it is a three-day weekend. A perfect time to hit the road and do something in the great outdoors. After all, in most parts of the country it’s the start of the Summer season. Time to clean off the grill, get out the frisbee, and spend time with family. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Although the celebrations may look a little different right now, take a moment to remember the origin of this holiday. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It started as Decoration Day. The Civil War ended in the Spring of 1865 claiming 600,000 lives. More lives than in other wars in US History. Decoration Day was a day set aside to decorate the graves of those who died in this war. Graves were decorated with flowers and flags with a goal to honor the ultimate sacrifice of those who died. By the end of the 1800’s Decoration Day was an official holiday. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> After World War I, Decoration Day was changed to Memorial Day. The revamped holiday was set aside as a time to remember all who gave their lives in service of our country in any war. Memorial Day is a distinctively American holiday and is properly celebrated with red, white, and blue American enthusiasm. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> It is also a time to visit the cemetery and decorate the graves, fly the flag, and go to a parade. It might also be a time to think about and learn a little about American History. You could even make it a family activity. Get the kids to put those electronic devices to good use playing Memorial Day Trivial Pursuit of sorts. How many wars have we Americans participated in? Where did we fight? Why were we fighting? Just go with the tried and true journalism questions… who, what, where, when, and why. There is a lot to learn.  Your family might even have a discussion! </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Use a little of that time off work to learn about, remember, and honor all the men and women who have died in military service. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/memorial-day Holiday thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/funerals-are-changing--but-grief-is-still-the-same <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Without a doubt, funerals are changing. Funeral services have become less formal and are noticeably more personal. They are sometimes religious and sometimes they are not. Funerals are often shorter and sometimes take place weeks after the death. There may be more songs, more pictures, and there is much more creativity at many funerals today. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> But the feelings people have when someone they love dies are the same. Grief does not change. People feel detached, alone, numb, untethered. It is hard to believe the person is really gone. You feel their presence, and it hurts to feel it, but you are afraid not to feel it. Grief is hard. When someone important to us dies it is significant and there is a need to grieve and say good-bye. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Most of the changes in funeral services are no more than updated ways to do what funerals have always done. Funerals gather us together so we can cry, hug, laugh, and remember with our family and friends. Funerals let us know we are not alone and provide a way for our friends and family to feed us emotionally and physically. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Funerals provide an avenue toward acceptance of the reality of a death. While a funeral does not alleviate the pain, it is at least a little easier to begin to accept the loss in the embrace of family and friends. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Funerals help us acknowledge that life had value. This person was once a child. They were a mother, father, brother or sister. Whether they were famous or infamous, rich or poor, kind or mean, they lived. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Funerals can’t erase the pain of loss. When the funeral is over the grief is not over.  However, skipping having a funeral won’t eliminate grief either. It won’t make death any easier. The ceremony of a funeral answers an instinctive need when going through the grieving process. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Watch the reaction of a child when death impacts their life. Little children seem to just instinctively know what needs to happen. When their goldfish dies, they know they need the help of their parents to deal with loss. They are drawn to ceremony of a funeral to complete their grief and understand the feelings that go with it. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/funerals-are-changing--but-grief-is-still-the-same Grief thumbnail main image https://www.ueckerwitt.com/grief-is-individual <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Let’s talk about the stages of grief. There is denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I studied them in nursing school, reviewed them when I got divorced and generally found them to be a pretty accurate and helpful bit of knowledge. And then, a family member died. Stages? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> In our house it was more like we all went to the amusement park and were all on very different rides. Up and down, round and round, quiet and loud. We were definitely not that family walking together peacefully along a path through stages. We were all a bunch of nuts. Although we love each other, we were dangerously close to coming apart at the seams. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> I don’t think we are the only ones. Death is the number one stressor for families. I’ve seen families break under the weight of illness and loss. Funeral directors will tell you the hardest part of their work is dealing with families who are emotionally fragmented. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> We all experience grief differently. It’s a singular journey. But you have to get along. If you don’t work it out you risk losing your family, not just the one member who actually died. So, what helped us? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Deep breathing and listening, I mean really listening to understand not just hear.  Recognizing anger as an expression of fear. Seeing frenzied activity as a coping mechanism for helplessness. Making room for each other’s ways of expressing love. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Accepting the prayers and the mementos even when the prayers aren’t ours and the memento is not what we would choose for a funeral. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> Being tolerant of each other’s needs and expression of their personal grief. Looking for what’s motivating the behavior not just the behavior itself. Being kind and tolerant. Hugging the huggers and giving the non-huggers their space. Letting go of judgment and making room for differences. I mean really, so what if your sister cries loudly? What’s the harm? </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> The days before a funeral, the time during the arranging of the funeral and weeks following a funeral are not easy. You and your family can come out of it broken or stronger. </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> </p> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <p> <a href="/"> www.ueckerwitt.com </a> </p> </div> Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT https://www.ueckerwitt.com/grief-is-individual Grief thumbnail main image